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Dedicated December 2022

Wedding shower

Ciara, on July 29, 2021 at 1:41 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 8
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Even though I really don’t want one, a lot of people will be highly upset if I don’t have one, so when approached my MOH, I just decided I would go through with it as long as it wasn’t a traditional bridal shower. It would have to be a wedding shower (and just one) in which my fiancé was included and it would be men and women, not just women. I don’t really want or expect gifts, especially considering my fiancé and I will have been in our home for almost a year by the time we have the shower. As we live in a small town, there are not a lot of places I can rent for as many people as we would have to invite. I figured a floating/drive thru shower would be okay, as I know some people wouldn’t want to stay the full amount of time, but I would still be able to talk to everyone and if they drop off a gift I can open it in front of them. However, a lot of people want to have a shower for the full 2 to 4 hours and have games and activities, which I would rather not do. Has anyone done a floating shower/is it okay to do that? Also, my shower will have to be 4-5 months before my wedding, which I know is early, but I can’t really help it because I will have a very busy time at work and won’t have many weekends available.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Tori, on July 30, 2021 at 9:35 AM
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    Aside from the height of Covid, I don't think drive thru showers are really appropriate. How many people are you planning to invite? Even if it is co-ed, it should only be the closest people to you and your fiance. You do not need to invite the whole guest list.
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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    As a guest, I'm not the biggest fan of a drive thru shower and would probably save my gift for the wedding or just have it sent to the couple's address.

    That's not too early to have a shower, if that's what works for you then that's fine! Our first shower is this September and our second is in October and our wedding isn't until January 2022. We wanted our guests to be able to go in and out as the pleased, so we wanted the weather to still be a little warm.

    Also, if you don't want a shower, then don't have one. I'm not sure why guests would be so upset if you didn't have one...it's not their wedding so why should it really matter what they expect you to do? If it was between having a drive thru one and just not having one, I'd go with not having one like you originally wanted.

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  • Jessi
    Super October 2022
    Jessi ·
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    I agree with SHY. Drive thru showers became a thing because people couldn't physically be near each other in groups, it would seem weird to have one just because you don't like the idea of a regular shower. If you don't want a shower or gifts then don't have a shower and don't make a registry. Someone who wants to give you a gift will do so whether those things are happening or not, so might as well ditch both and let people do what they do.

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  • C
    Dedicated December 2022
    Ciara ·
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    We both have huge families, which is about 80 people all together and that’s just grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, no extend family, 2nd cousins etc. and we have to invite all of them, we can’t really pick and choose since we are all very close.
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  • C
    Dedicated December 2022
    Ciara ·
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    Thank y’all! I sadly can’t go without one even though I want to. Someone will end up throwing a surprise shower for me against my wishes because everyone is really pushing a shower and doesn’t understand my reasons for not wanting one. I figure if I give in, I will at least get to have what I want and don’t want to a degree as my MOH is very understanding and will listen to what I have to say in the planning stages.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    A shower is for physical gifts. If you don’t want gifts, don’t have a shower. Your bridesmaids need to respect your wishes. Be firm and maintain boundaries, and if they continue to push, they are not true friends who have respect for you. Is there anyone who can mediate for you? Coworkers will often have a surprise shower and you accept it graciously with prompt thank you notes. Be aware that if you don’t register as is your prerogative, you will get many gifts you don’t want and can’t return. Cash is not always the default.


    You can host an attendants’ luncheon to honor them but other guests that would be invited to a shower would not attend. And you, not your bridesmaids, would be responsible for all party planning. Female only vs coed is irrelevant.

    Your description of a drive thru party could easily come across as awkward for any guests invited unless they do that type on a regular basis to begin with pre-pandemic. It could be uncomfortable for some arriving later at the same time someone else needs to head out and the new arrival panicking that they missed the party,
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  • B
    Devoted August 2022
    Bride2Be ·
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    What about a shower dinner? Like just go out to eat somewhere? That way it’s more of a dinner than a shower but still a get together!
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  • Tori
    Devoted October 2021
    Tori ·
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    We're doing a "pre-wedding party" and calling it an I Do BBQ. My girls were the same way and wanted to throw me something but I wanted it to be where both men and women could come and we aren't registered anywhere besides a honeyfund, so we aren't expecting gifts. We just invited our bridal party and their dates, parents, and our friends. So it's going to be more of a party, with probably some silly games. It's a good way for our whole party to meet each other.

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