Wedding Shower

Anyone can host a shower except for the couple. It's great if your maid of honor offers, but it is not her responsibility. Her only duty is to purchase the dress and attend the wedding, anything else is a bonus. If no one offers to host shower, you don't have one.

My mom and aunts are planning mine with some help from my matron of honor!

By etiquette, if no one offers to throw you a shower, you're not supposed to have one. I personally say that if you want one then go for it and plan it yourself! I personally don't find it tacky at all!

This is my first marriage so it's important to me that I get all of the "stereotypical" parties. I don't expect any gifts at all, but just having a bridal shower and bachelorette party is super important to me to celebrate me getting married so if no one stepped up to plan them I would honestly have just planned and paid for them myself haha.

I would not say anything to her but because technically she does not have any official duties and if she is a single mom with kids I am sure she cannot afford it either. I have noticed that most showers are hosted by the mothers. Have you spoken to your mom? I know this may go against protocol but maybe ask your mom if she would be willing to host a little something. Maybe your MOH and bridal party can help with planning but I would not tell them the need to.

My mom planned most of mine with help from my bridesmaids

It's not usually the couple to be wed that plans and organizes the wedding shower. Its family, MOH' etc.

Since the purpose of the shower is to "shower the couple with gifts," it's considered rude for the couple to host the shower. Anyone other than the couple can host the shower. Multiple people can do it together to defray costs. My bridal party (4 ladies) threw mine with some help from my mom and mother in law. I believe they split the costs (but they kept everything a secret from me so I didn't really know much of anything).

Anyone can host it other than the two of you. Her only duty is to show up on the day of in the proper attire and stand with you. If she offers to host the before wedding parties, great but she may not be able to, can afford it etc so I wouldn't mention anything. If no one offers to host any parties, you just don't have them.

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I agree with Caytlyn on this one. 100%. no parties before the wedding are a necessity - and no one ever HAS to do anything for you. people throw parties for future brides because they want to.

I never had a bridal shower or an engagement party. my sister (one of my MOHs) threw my bach party with my help.

While the etiquette is that if it’s not planned for you, you’re not supposed to have one, it’s okay to have an open conversation with your mom or loved ones. My mom is not proactive and wouldn’t have thought of it herself but also would have been upset if I didn’t have shower. Since I did a destination bachelorette, I was able to ask my mom if she would mind funding it to take the financial burden off myself (paid our own wedding) and the bridesmaids which included my two sisters. She loved the idea so my sister got to do the planning while my mom happily funded it. I made sure to let her create and stick to her own budget. But if I didn’t bring it up first, it may not have happened or would have stretched my bridesmaids which I didn’t want.

One of my bridesmaids planned one. My moms best friend planned one. And my MIL and her sisters planned out. Really, it’s whoever wants to host one for you.

You guys shouldn't host it talk to your parents and your entire BP maybe they can all chip in and plan it together.