Wedding Showers - When to have them and who to invite??

Showers can be had anywhere from 3 weeks to: months before the wedding. However, those you invite to the shower have to be invited to the wedding.

Hi Rachel! Obviously all situations are different, but normally a bride doesn't host their own shower. Instead, someone like your mom, MOG, sister or bridal party throws you a shower. They should just ask you for the guest list and dates that work for you and they plan the rest! A bridal shower is typically between a few weeks to 2 months before the wedding.

It's definitely bad form to invite someone to the shower who isn't invited to the wedding. Others on here may disagree, but the only time I think this can be overlooked is if you're having a small wedding due to covid and there are people who want to celebrate with you but can't attend the wedding. But in your case, 50 guests really isn't considered a small wedding and those who aren't invited to the wedding may be insulted that you invite them to the shower for a gift.

It is considered extremely rude to invite someone to a shower, but not the wedding. It basically gives the message that the person is good enough to give you and your fiancé a gift, but not good enough to witness your marriage so I definitely wouldn't invite someone who isn't invited to the wedding.

A shower usually takes place between two months to two weeks before the wedding.

Thanks so much, this has definitely answered my questions and made it clear on what we will do. My wedding is not going to be so traditional, no wedding party and just lots of family and super close friends. I appreciate all of your advice.

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I agree with Melanie on this one!

Someone will offer to throw you a shower if they want to, and typically those that are invited to those, also get an invite to the wedding. As far as those that can't attend your wedding because it's downsized, I would just run it by those that you know and see what they think. You know your family/friends better than we do!

Just make sure that if you do end up inviting people to a shower that you can't have at the wedding, you let them know that this is your way of celebrating with them. Our friends invited us to a shower, we gave them a gift, then they cut their guest list and we didn't make the cut. We weren't notified, sent regrets, nothing. We had to find out through a mutual friend that we weren't invited anymore. We also didn't get a 'thank you' card for the gift lol so we were pretty ticked off about that.

Wedding showers are usually held 1-3 months before the wedding, and they are hosted by someone else like friends, mother of the groom, sister, or other extended family members (just not the bride's mother because that is seen as gift-grabby, but most importantly not the bride!) Somebody will usually offer to throw you a shower. Everyone invited to the shower must also receive a wedding invitation!

I agree in general circumstances about rudeness when it comes to inviting ppl to a shower but not to a wedding. However, with COVID, things may be different. My mom is throwing me a virtual shower (I did not ask her to and she's insisting). But my FH and I arw eloping and we're going somewhere that has poor service so zooming in won't be an option. We know for sure that majority of our loved ones wouldn't attend a physical wedding due to their fear of COVID

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Agree with this. Also it is rude for the bride to host her own shower which many try to do.

Many people will tell you that you can do anything you want during Covid. But that is not true because etiquette rules still apply as long as have humans interacting with each other in social settings. If something is rude when not in a pandemic on a goid day, then it is also rude in a pandemic.

You do not invite anyone to pre-wedding event without them also being invited to the wedding, that's very rude. Also, not clear from your post but it's also very rude to plan and throw your own shower.

The PPs have basically covered it. Everybody invited to the shower should be invited to the wedding.