Wedding to Baby Shower: Gifts or no gifts?

I do find it odd when people (especially family) don’t even give a card. I know gifts are not a requirement, but I was raised to at least do a small gift. As for the baby shower, yes it is awkward, but this child will be your niece or nephew. I would give a gift, but not something extravagant. I’d go fairly small. Think blanket, cute outfits, gift card things like that. Also maybe some diapers as another option as those will always get used.

I’ve never in my life heard that you should match a baby shower gift to a wedding gift. I personally would never attend a wedding without giving a gift, but they aren’t a necessity. Weddings aren’t primarily gift giving events, baby showers are. I think you should spend whatever you normally would and not giving a gift just because you didn’t receive one would be petty. If you don’t want to give a gift, decline the invitation.

While I think it is odd that no one in the family brought a gift or card you should buy the gift you want to present to your new niece or nephew. Find something super cute on the registry and add something she can never have enough of like diapers or burp cloths.

There is no matching rule, especially not for 2 different events. Chose an amount you feel comfortable spending, and find a gift that reflects that. It doesn’t have to be huge, but...DONT go to a shower without a physical gift. That would be rude— you’re comparing apples to oranges here: sure I’d never go to a wedding without a gift, but, it’s okay to do so— weddings are celebrations of marriages. A shower, on the other hand, is a party specifically designed for gift giving, and a baby shower in particular an event to help new parents get things they need. If I didn’t want to give someone a gift, I would decline to attend their shower.

I think matching gifts to what you were given sounds petty af. While yeah, they should have given a card at the bare minimum, that's no reason to snub a baby shower gift. They're 2 entirely separate events.

Also not that you should expect to get anything, but your wedding was mere days ago. That you have not yet received a gift from someone doesn’t mean you won’t. We received some packages post wedding, and I know I’ve certainly gifted some post weddings I’ve attended (shipped late, forgot the card, etc). So not saying they necessarily will but their gifting window hasn’t closed yet. We also received some gifts signed from whole families even though the families include independent adult children. I guess my point is : certainly don’t expect anything, but most importantly don’t be petty about gifting them because they could still be sending you something. Well I mean, don’t be petty anyway haha, but if you didn’t bring a shower gift and received a package in the mail next week, I imagine you might feel a bit silly/bad after that!

Wow that's pretty messed up none of your husband's family gave you a card or gift. Maybe they are on the way. Bringing a gift to the shower is the right thing to do. Any amount you want to spend is fine.

I understand where gift matching may be a nice "guide" - only when you've got the idea of it as someone gave me a $50 gift, I don't want to only give them a $10 gift vs. someone only gave me $10 so I will give no more, because yes, that's when it becomes petty. But even with that mentality at the end of the day, and especially in this situation, I think you need to gift within what you feel comfortable.

While I understand where you are coming from with the "gift matching" I think it applies better to matching events. Weddings are not events in which a gift should be expected, whereas a shower is literally thrown as a means to "shower" the person with gifts. But, that's just my opinion.

I'd say if you feel a little slighted, still come with a gift, but maybe a less elaborate one. Provide necessities such as diapers and wipes rather than the crib/bedroom set or fancy stroller.

That is pretty strange that no one from his side gave a card or gift. In my circle you give a gift for any event (wedding, shower, and don’t come empty handed to any type of gathering). But I digress. I’d still bring a shower gift just to be the bigger person but by no means do you have to spend a lot. A $20 outfit or something small like that is perfect.

You still need to give a gift if this is your future niece or nephew. You're showering the BABY and it's not the baby's fault their parents are cheap. In fact, maybe take it as a sign that they need MORE help and consider getting your new family addition a nice gift that will be cherished.

I had about 3 people not give us a wedding gift. Me personally I always show up with a gift. I'm never empty handed.

I don't really base what I gift family off what they give me. All of my fiance's siblings (two sisters, stepsister, stepbrother, stepbrother-in-law, stepsister-in-law) gave us nothing but they are all have way less money than we do and their presence was enough. We still plan on giving them cards and gifts in the future for events.

Try to be the bigger person and get a small gift for the baby

I suggest getting a small "baby kit" (available from GiftBaskets.com) or basic baby supplies to make a gift basket yourself. The other thing you could do is get a $50 gift card to Target (or other suitable store). Most baby shower gifts are a lot less expensive than wedding/wedding shower gifts.

Wedding gifts are supposed to be the biggest general gift in a lifetime from anyone but parents and spouse. Who may give bigger for another occasion. Bridal showers are lower priced, usually a quarter to a third of your budget, with wedding gift the other bigger part . One of the older columnists had a formula that used to be common, the prices of things. The tips said, when we say the price of an outfit, obviously people well off may spend 100 for baby jammies, while budget price would be $10. But it was something like, shower, a cookbook to a small appliance, wedding a set of dishes, or set of pots or pans or a major appliance. And baby, 2 outfits, or a stroller or a layette. Prices change, but relative worth is the same. These are friend and extended family. Only family, or a group, would do very big things. Your economic group determines a lot. My BIL and wife gave us a $90 carriage. My sister's well off BIL and wife gave a $350 stroller. But relative to other guests, in similar income brackets, those were about right.