Wedding Vows - the struggle 🙈

I have a huge fear of public speaking. I even froze one time reading a Christmas card to my family. Even ordering food at a drive through I have to prepare for. However, my fiance and I have decided to have our own vows that we read to each other. I'll admit I am truly nervous about this but that is what vows are. You are supposed to say them to one another. To me personally it just wouldn't be the same if someone else were to read them. Have faith in him and encourage him. maybe even have him practice reading even simple things aloud. To your FH I completely understand the very real fear of public speaking but you can do this and you both will be much happier to read your own vows.

Totally understandable. I completely agree with Brittany, if you show you have faith in him and encourage him, hopefully he will come around. Writing them down, and practicing repetitively always helps me to feel more confident about reading/speaking in front of people. In my mind, if I already know all the words and I know I can say it because I have practiced so much, there's no surprises in what I have to say & I feel way more confident. I hope this helps! Best to luck to you and I hope he comes around.

So my fiancé had the same fear. I brought this up to my officiant and she said she has never been asked to do that before. She was hesitant and said if that’s what we wanted she could. But then after more time thinking about it I realized how weird it would be. So I told my fiancé if we wrote our own we have to say them ourselves. If we do traditional we can follow what the officiant tells us to say. My fiancé knew how much writing our own meant to me so he is going to do it. Everyone I have known to get married said it’s weird when you’re up there how you forget there’s people watching. Plus it’s all people who love and support you so no need to be scared!

I think if you do a "repeat after me" situation with your officiant, you should be fine. You guys could probably write those as well. (?) Or, it could be as simple as having the officiant read a statement and asking you to say "I do." You guys could write "vows" and read them to each other privately so it's more intimate.

If he is scared of public speaking he can't just get over it.

Can you get some short vows off the internet that the officiant can ask him to repeat? If you really want to hear personally written vows from your FH you guys could write them and then share them privately. Maybe give them to each other the morning of the wedding. This would be so much more personal and he would be able to share his thoughts more comfortably.

We went to a wedding last year and the officiant read letters the bride and groom had written each other in place of vows. They then did the standard "for better or worse, in sickness and in health, yadda yadda" in the repeat after me fashion. It was nice to be able to hear their more personal thoughts and they both said it was a huge relief to have someone else handle that part.

Public speaking in my biggest fear, I tend to black out and forget everything I was going to say and have walked out of classes when giving presentations. My husband and I decided to read and write our own vows and although I was nervous leading up to it, it was soooo worth it. Everyone was tearing up and it was just so special and genuine. I don't think it would've been quite as special if someone else read it instead. Honestly when you are up in front of everyone you sort of forget everyone else is there. You are reading these beautiful words to your SO and you don't even remember there are a bunch of people looking at you.

Hi Sheryl!! How did everything go? I'm sure your wedding was a wonderful and special day filled with love! We'd love to see photos and hear all about it