Wedding vs First House!

It is still pretty far away. Can't you save some each month?

I would do the house and do a much smaller wedding (like courthouse and dinner with the parents)

House then plan the wedding because you may not get a second chance to find a house you like at a good price

I would definitely do the house.. I understand that you don't want to give up your dream wedding. Is it possible to push back the date to allow more time to save?

Miranda - No. anything we have monthly, would go straight towards the bills that we'd be paying. We both live at home now, so saving for the wedding is much easier.

Patrice and J - I know it would def be wiser of the two! Just bummy!!

I have started thinking about this too...having wedding guilt because we also are house shopping. We could definitely put more of a down payment on a house if we didn't have the wedding that we want. We went to a wedding of some co-workers this weekend and it went by so fast...i'm seriously thinking...for me...is it worth it???? It kind of is, but i also feel kind of guilty!

For my first marriage, I didn't have the wedding that I wished that I had and I always regretted it. It is memories that we are making together and pictures that we can look back on and a day that will be just about us. So as selfish as it seems in light of a house...i think it is still important, but definitely a personal choice!

I would think it's still doable!! If you make an effort to save a little more than you spend, and don't have a huge guest list it could work

Totally understand the bummed feeling but that frown will turn upside down with the homeowner tax write offs. ;-)

Yeah you definitely don't want to get yourself into a position of having no disposable income whatsoever. Even saving $500 a month gets you $12000 by then.

Do you only have enough money saved to cover the down payment? We put 20% down on our house but had to bring an additional $6k to cover closing costs as well. You should also have a minimum of 6-9 months of bill money set aside in an emergency fund before you close on the house. Your monthly bills should not equal 100% of your monthly income. Don't bleed your savings dry for the sake of buying your first house.

Can you push back the wedding date to save for the wedding you want?

Yay for getting a house hopefully. Small ceremonies can be absolutely beautiful. This is life. It sounds like you are making the right choice, but it's also ok to grieve the wedding you may have to give up.

A house isn’t always more important than a wedding. There’s nothing wrong with living in an apartment after you’re married. This is really a personal choice and something only you and your FH can determine.

I would absolutely choose a house over a large wedding. I agree with J.Clo, buy the house and have an intimate wedding, or if you're willing to, push the wedding back a bit so you can save.

House!!!

A house is a much better investment. Have a smaller wedding or go to the courthouse and have a reception

Also agree with @DoggoMom and @Kristin. You need more than just the down payment. In NYC (I don't know what it's like buying a co-op anywhere else), we have to have the down payment, enough for closing costs, and also have 6 months to 2 years worth of monthly expenses in liquid assets available after closing. They require this (which is smart for any buyer of a house, co-op, whatever) just in case either of us lose our jobs, we'd have enough to still pay the mortgage and maintenance (property tax and utilities). You never want to have just enough to buy a house. There are several hidden costs and you want to have a safety net for after the purchase. Your housing expenses shouldn't exceed 25-30% of your income. Make sure you have room to save.

At 6 months pregnant we ditched the wedding idea, bought a house and eloped on vacation at the beach. Fast forward to a year later and we're happily planning the same wedding we were before, with our happy little married secret! An added benefit is that last year we would have asked for money and baby supplies, or nothing since we just had a baby shower, but now that we're settled with baby and in a house, not a teeny apartment, I actually have small home things to register for that I would have ended up buying for myself if we had waited on the house!

@Rachel, would your guests know you're already married? Because they definitely should, especially if you're asking for gifts.

OP, I echo PPs on this one. But still, it's an exciting moment. Just make sure you can take this all on.

Well, when I say all of our income, I don't necessarily mean some. What I meant is that, what we have left over from the monthly bills (everything, utilities, electric, phones etc) wild go straight to a savings account, but it wouldn't be enough for a backup account and a wedding. If that makes sense. We would have extra money, just not enough to throw into the wedding that we want.