Weddings are stressful

Sorry to hear about the trouble you are encountering.

The wedding guests and style is largely determined by the people who fund it (or do the majority funding). Maybe you can share with her that you cannot arrange the wedding ceremony that she imagines -- it is not within reasonable finances. It is not a reasonable guest list. It is not something emotionally right.

Sometimes other brides have just said that we are still working out ideas and are not ready to share them. You will likely hear from others who have encountered the same problems.

Sorry to hear your wedding planning isn’t feeling like your own. I would definitely recommend talking to your mom and setting the expectation for her. I know moms love to be involved, but maybe you can respectfully remind her that it’s yours and although you appreciate her help and input it’s not needed. Especially if it leads to an argument.

View Quoted Comment The argument occurred over food. I even said there is nothing to talk about because the food tasting isn't happening until June. When something comes up or I'm contacted by our coordinator, then I'll let her know. As for money, both our parents are helping so money isn't the issue.

View Quoted Comment It's more that there is nothing to talk about yet. Food tasting isn't until June. I just don't think about it until I need to.

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If your parents are helping to pay, then unfortunately, they do have a say and a vested interest in what happens. That's just how it works.

If you completely want full control, then decline their money and have the wedding that you want.

View Quoted Comment I have no issue with help. There is no reason to discuss anything at the moment because nothing much is happening until around June for the food tasting. Plus my fiancés side is paying the reception, my parents paid the ceremony.

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I know you don't have an issue with the help, but when people contribute money to an event, they might feel ownership over it. With that comes the feeling of being entitled to call the shots. You can't really accept help paying for this and then shut them out with the planning part. I realize your time frame, but clearly your mom doesn't.

Your initial question had to do with whether to make the wedding smaller or not and feeling like it's not even yours. I'm saying that the only way to really make it your own is to decline the money and have the event you can afford on your own.

View Quoted Comment True. She went from not wanting me to have one to having one

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Yes exactly. My guess is she has a vision of what she wants. So she's put money into it, which is why it's not feeling like your wedding.

It's probably also why it always leads to arguments.

I have been where you are 1year and 10mos. Of dealing with ppl telling me I should and shouldn't have at my wedding. My middle daughter tried to take over my wedding,but she didn't plan it. But he her eyes that she was but there was a twist on why trying to start are career base off our wedding. Ppl trying to change my decor my colors. But God had a better plan moved our venue to a church instead small amount if guest. We had a great time ceremony was intimate and beautiful