Weird gap between ceremony and reception

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Good! I totally understand the number crunch, and it's hard to work within a tight budget and still be able to celebrate with the people you care about.

Are there other places you can cut back on? Cut out favors. Maybe DIY something. Get your guestbook from Walmart instead of Etsy.

Do you have a caterer for food or are you doing it yourself?

@MarchisComing, no one was being "nasty".

We're trying to understand her timeline, and give her some options so her guests don't show up expecting a meal and don't get one.

I think her choice of ending the reception early is perfectly acceptable. A cocktail style reception from 4pm-6pm directly after the ceremony is totally fine, it's like an evening cake and punch reception (cake and punch to me seems brunch-y that's why i say "evening cake and punch").

My only suggestion is to really REALLY considering not making guests pay for drinks. Consumption, or beer and wine only are two totally acceptable possibilities. Please don't do a cash bar.

I have a caterer for my charcuterie boards abut im
now looking for someone to cater more filling apps.
im having a cash bar and my favors I haven’t even thought about yet

Why would you not suggest the cash bar??

I think more filling appetizers would be great. I attended two weddings with a cash bar and I survived. I didn't think it was poor hosting. Most events I go to have cash bars. But, since I've been on WW, I have learned that cash bars are tacky. Maybe, you can do a consumption bar or just offer wine and beer?

I’ll go ahead and pass along what I was going to do...a 2nd line performance or a live r&b performance. You could even bring in African dancers or drummers to do something.

i have to agree that the cheese and meat boards may leave people unsatiated. If your sticking to your guns with that, then inform guests ahead of time that’s what will be served so they can have a meal before coming or just know what to expect. I’d personally be watching the clock if there’s no food for a 2+ hour event.

I think deciding to cut the reception short and end by 6pm is wise. It's valid to have a cocktail reception (apps and drinks) if it's not happening at dinner time and this will eliminate illusion that dinner will be served.

I'd also suggest not having a cash bar. The reasoning is that your wedding reception is your thank you to your guests for coming to watch you get married and taking time out of their lives to do so. If you don't cover the drinks, then you would be having your guests pay for their own thank you. It would be like telling someone who got you a gift that they need to buy you a thank you note so you can send them a thank you note.

You're having 90 guests, not feeding them a meal and not paying for their drinks. I. have. no. words. So essentially you're having a party and expecting your hangry guests to pay for their own drinks. If I could be a fly on the wall at that one... Skip the favors and pay for the alcohol.

My delema is I can’t afford to pay for everyone’s drinks and my venues requires a liquor lisence to serve alcohol. Hopefully my guest will understand. We are a young couple

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It's not a dilemma, you chose to have a wedding before you could afford one. Being young is no excuse. If your venue doesn't have a liquor license, how are you having a cash bar? You can limit your alcohol to wine and beer, but you should provide and pay for it. I know it's too late for you being 2 months out but for other newly engaged couples out there, you really shouldn't be inviting 90 people that you can't afford to host properly. You would have been better off cutting the list to 30 and hosting it properly.

View Quoted Comment All of those things should have been considered before you made the decision to host this way. Cut any other expenses and pay for their drinks. Forget about favors. They won’t care about a favor after they have to pay for their drinks. If you’re onky hosting appetizers and cocktails you have to pay for both.

It seems like you invited way more people than your budget could afford.

This will work of the reception will be over by 6pm so people can leave and go have dinner elsewhere.

View Quoted Comment Agreed, FMH. 👏👏👏

OP, favors are completely optional. I would skip them and put that money towards the food and drink. Even if you are just offering beer and wine that you cover instead of having a full bar available. Your guests should not have to pay for anything at an event you are hosting.

There has been a lot of back and forth, and I am a bit loss. But, if I am understanding correctly you are now considering having just a cocktail reception and ending early, is that correct?

Assuming so. I could be wrong, but if instead you switch to cake and punch reception (still offering the apps planned) and of course ditching the cash bar, then you should be fine... etiquette-wise. I THINK. Someone correct me if I am wrong.

This is assuming that your wedding being so close and you can honestly not afford a hosted bar at this point. Btw, did you already send invitations??

Don’t worry people, I’m got to extend my wedding back to 8 pm now and serve pasta.
The cash bar is still up for debate for me. Alcohol is just so expensive

Wow. I'm surprised at the negatively while reading through these responses. A cash bar is perfectly fine, just spread by word of mouth that it will be a cash bar so that people who want alcohol know to bring money. Drinking alcohol is not mandatory so if they don't want to pay for it, they can drink the non-alcoholic drinks that you provide. I disagree with the reception being a "thank you" to the guests for coming. It is a celebration of your marriage. The guests should be coming to celebrate with you, in whatever way that you choose. It is your day. And if that guest decided to buy you a gift or give a monetary gift, that is great. But it should be given to you because they wanted to, not because they expect a meal. Omg. All this "etiquette" crap drives me insane. If your loved ones love you, they will simply be happy to share in your joy on the day. Regardless of what is offered to eat or drink. Do what you can and what you are comfortable with and be happy!

View Quoted Comment This is an etiquette forum. We share advice on proper etiquette. Cash bars are cheap and rude. Guests are often traveling, buying new attire, giving generous gifts, etc. The reception is a thank you to them. Your guests are VIPs. Once you invite one guest, the reception is no longer about the couple.

All my guest are in their 20 something’s and don’t have money to buy new atire or expensive gifts. So how bout that. Disagree it is OUR day

View Quoted Comment ALL of your guests? ALL? You have no family? Aunts, uncles, grandparents, family friends?? You’re inviting strictly broke 20-something’s??
i highly doubt it. You’re trying to reason your rude behavior and it’s not working.