West coast. East Coast.

Maybe I find this comical because I've been watching the Unsolved Murders of Biggy and 2Pac, but I don't think "picking a coast" is disrespectful. If anything, pick the one that's more economical and central for most.

Where do you guys live? Planning from afar can be difficult so I’d get married where you live.

Where do you guys live? I wouldn't want to plan a wedding from the opposite coast. I'd want to be able to see my venue and meet with my vendors in person as frequently as necessary.

I actually had the same thing (my family is from NJ/PA and his is from CA). We chose to have our wedding in MD because we live here and my parents are footing most of the bill. His family is also smaller and more wealthy than mine so we just sent out StD's early so they could all coordinate.

View Quoted Comment Makes so much sense. I didn't think about meeting vendors.

Thanks

I think you have to look at where you live and where the majority of your guests would be coming from. I also think whoever's paying is a big factor there too. If you're paying for your own wedding, then it's a moot point. But if one of your parents are paying, then I think out of respect for them, I'd have the wedding closest to whichever set of parents is paying.

I don't think picking a destination somewhere in the middle makes any sense at all, especially an unfamiliar place. You'd have to travel back and forth a few times to see venues, you won't have anyone who knows the area to make recommendations on vendors, etc...

Not nearly as far, but FH and I live in MA and so does my family. His entire family is in FL. We knew right away we are getting married in MA because this is where our life is. We didn't think about making it economical for other people, that may be kind of rude on our part but this is where we live and any where else wasn't an option for us.

Our families are super scattered as well. His family is mostly in Savannah, Detroit, and St Louis. Mine is in Milwaukee, New Orleans, and Minneapolis. We live in South Carolina. We were going to do it here but no matter what it would have been a destination for 90% of our guests. So we went with were we wanted to celebrate the most and that was New Orleans. Our friends and families are thrilled because they have been wanting to go but didn't have a reason, now they do! Plus we can celebrate with my cajun culture and his southern culture in perfect harmony. It's all about where you feel the most happiness and celebration.

My issue was state side. Our respective families are on the border end of Washington state.

We ended up going with our side because it's where we live and it's easier to plan when everything is local and because my parents are paying for 80% of the wedding, so reason A also applies to them.

I agree with previous posts. I would plan it wherever you are located unless you are not anywhere near family or friends. We live in OH and a lot of our family is in Florida, South Dakota, California, Washington, etc. but since we have roots here and can actually go visit venues, meet with photographers, etc., we are having it here. Plus, it may be fun for your families to come see where you live if they haven't already! You could include on your wedding website some fun attractions or some of your favorite outings in your city!

FH and I had this scenario...I’m from Rhode Island, he’s from Washington state and we live in Colorado. We ultimately chose Rhode Island because I have a much larger family, so we’re minimizing the number that has to travel. In addition, my grandparents won’t fly anywhere, and he knew it was very important to me that they were there. As far as vendors, I did mostly phone conversations and researched very very in depth online. My mom was able to visit venues and take pictures to send to us, and when we were there visiting we planned food tastings, engagement picture session, etc. His family is quite excited to travel, as they have never been to New England. For us, this was the right choice but you need to weigh the factors that are most important to you. Hope that helps!

I’d just do it where you live!

I would pick where you live.

My FH and I live about 3 hours from where I grew up/where my ENTIRE family lives. We decided to have our wedding there so my 90 and 95 year old grandmothers could be a part of the day, and also because it was easiest on my family, who is paying. His family, which is much smaller, would all have to travel either way (except his mom and one of his siblings), so we figured driving just a little further wouldn't hurt that much if they truly want to be a part of the day!