What are you allowed to register for?

You can register for anything. Most will only purchase household items and consider honeymoons/cash to be rude and gift grabby. Those same folks will not buy furniture because it is extravagant.

I have never met anyone in real life who gifts cash because they expect a full registry of physical gifts and will gift something the couple may not want if they don't register. I was honestly amazed at the openly rampant opposition to registries when I came across WW. They are really nowhere near as inconvenient and outdated/improper/(insert hostile adjective) as many make them out to be. Also in our families/social circles, showers are very small and the registry gifts are given at the wedding itself.

Have a wide variety of gifts in every price range from $1-5 on up.

In our friend circle, registering for furniture is fairly common. Rarely do I see the items that used to be on registries many years ago (kitchen appliances, china sets, etc.), probably because most couples live together prior to marriage these days and don’t need “starter items”. Nearly all the weddings in our circle have predominantly cash gifts, with the parents and/or grandparents sometimes purchasing them furniture or a trip. I think the old fashioned registries are mainly used by older people. Everyone I know under 60 just gives cash.

Personally, I prefer to give things that will last, so I’ll gravitate towards things like china and crystal. But I’d find it completely normal, and acceptable, to include things like linens and electrical items that typically have a shorter lifespan. I absolutely agree on including items at a range of price points. If there is nothing left on the register that I fancy buying, I’ll usually give a gift card to wherever the couple are registered.

Expectations, feelings and traditions around gift giving vary - by region, by generation, and by family. (And if we really dug into them, the distinctions between what is deemed to be acceptable or not are often or very logical.) If there are particular expectations within your family, it makes sense to include enough of the things that fit with that (and that you also want), and then other things that they might not want to give but others will be fine with.

In my area, registries are primarily for showers because people gift cash/checks for the wedding itself. Regisyties typically have home items. I would be fine with furniture (but I think that should allow group gifting) because that is still for the couple's home, but I would be thrown off by an iPhone because that is very clearly for just 1 person. We lived together for years prior, but we registered for nicer quality upgrades of things we already had (like all-clad cookware pieces to replace our cheaper stuff). As is common in our area, people gave is gifts off the registry for the shower and gave us cards with checks or cash in them at the wedding itself. Only 1 couple brought us a physical gift, and they were actually younger. The older people gave checks.

When we registered we choose things that would be nice to have. That we normally wouldn’t get our selfs. We been together for 11 years and had most of everything. So just do what you guys feel is right. If you want a new bed set then register for it. That ls what I did

Fh and I registered for household items, (kitchen applicants, bathroom, bedding) we live together and coming up on 2 years this July. But we moved into a fully furnished apartment only thing that is ours is the tv. We plan to move this year after or right before the wedding so for us we need the household starter items because we’ll be moving and needing to start from scratch. The microwave that was already here when we moved in finally gave out over the weekend and we brought a new one and it’s our first household appliance that we own together and it feels good. I see nothing wrong with registering for household items for the wedding, everyone needs upgrades or new household items they dint already own to start a life together. My mother was going to throw me a shower before we decided to cancel, and when I gave her the registry to pass around when she was making invites she was thrown off saying aren’t we supposed to get you things for your wedding night and I was like please do not traumatize me like that lol and basically found many WeddingWire articles that say you gift from the couples registry for showers too.

View Quoted Comment This must be an older thing. My mom said the same and seemed very hurt when I was adamant that no one get me anything like that. My friend got a nightgown from either her mom or grandmother and we were all surprised.

I have lived in my own apartment for 5 years now and future husband will move in after the honeymoon. I have a pfaltzfraph dish set for 10(still collecting pieces) but i dont see the point of “fine china” taking up space in my tiny apartment, as soon as we have 1 kid we will need to move.. we decided not to do a registry as i have everything already... but i would have liked to upgrade my vacuum, bedding, towels, curtains, flatware, and get better couches... but we are both frugal and nothing is NEEDED for us. (We are both 33 and think crystal and fine china is outdated unless u are rich and host a lot of fancy dinners)

My fiancé and I have lived together for over a year. We had a house warming party and got tons of household items that some would consider putting on their wedding registry, so we simply do not need them. And honestly, if I needed new pots and pans or a blender, I would go buy them. I, personally, have no interest in forming a registry to receive tons of gifts I don't need nor have the room for.

If my FH and I were just starting out, I would register for whatever household items we needed, and probably a couple of extras - like throw blankets, decorative baskets etc.

When discussing showers and registries with my family and future in laws, they all have suggested to not register since we don't want or need anything. My in laws, especially, are definitely more 'etiquette oriented' and say that most will give money, and some will still give a personalized gift - which is okay! But I just can't justify forming an entire list of gifts I don't care for. I feel like as a gusts, I would hate to know that I'm buying meaningless gifts that the couple doesn't want for the sake of going off of a registry.

I'll add, I wouldn't be upset about any gift - cash or physical, or even a honeymoon activity or adventure. A gift is a gift. Whatever my guests want to give me is more than okay.

Also, I went to a shower last year that THE COUPLE REGISTERED FOR CEREAL AND RANDOM GROCERIES FROM TARGET. If anything is weird and rude, I feel like this is it.

We're done picking stuff for our registry, and since we've been together for 7 years and live together, we registered for a lot of upgrades for what we already have. We also registered for an air purifier since we have a dog, a vacuum cleaner, an ottoman, and a standing floor mirror.

I think it's more common now, at least in my inner circle, to include non-traditional things. We've seen furniture a lot, as well as camping and beach equipment. My FBIL and his wife had a small registry, but also included a honeymoon fund and had fun excursions on there!

I feel like it just depends on the couple and what they value more. Some value experiences more than material objects, so they want to have a honeymoon fund, which I have no problem with! Since FH and I registered at 3 stores, we thought it would be too much to add a honeymoon fund onto ours lol.

My personal gift-giving style is to pick those things the couple puts on their registry because they really want it, but they don't think anyone will actually buy it for them.

Grandma will buy them nice china. Mom will buy them fancy crystal they'll never use. Friends will buy them bath towels and bed sheets.

I'm going to buy them the countertop pizza oven they are sure no one will buy, even though they want it way more than the crystal and bath towels.

As such, I am very much of the "register for what you want" mentality. I'm also totally cool with couples registering for individual items they each want (as long as it's even - groom registers for 1-2 items, bride registers for 1-2 items. Also a good idea to keep them around the same price.) I have purchased a his/hers gift set more than once.

I don't see anything as off-limits. I don't like giving cash, not because I have some etiquette issue with it, but because I don't like giving gifts that don't require thought. But of course, I guess registries are nothing but gifts that don't require thought, because the couple has done the thinking for you, so maybe this is a silly opinion.

Our registry is mainly upgrades to items we already own (dishes, vacuum, etc) or fun things we'd probably never buy ourselves but would enjoy (like a pasta maker). But we're not registering for things like china or crystal for a myriad of reasons: my mom has already asked which set of family china, silver, and crystal I'd like to inherit, we literally have no space in our house to store it, and we'd probably never use it anyway! We're not going to bust out the fine china for taco Tuesday and we probably won't host any holiday dinners for a LONG time, so we just don't have the need (or the want) for any of it. China, silver, and crystal may "last forever" but they're incredibly impractical to us.

A new couch, on the other hand, is incredibly practical (would use it every day), something we desperately need (our current couch is so old and beat up), and really want (but too much of a *splurge* for us right now). I'd consider adding a couch as a group gift to our registry, but we're also planning on moving soon and want to wait until we're in the new space to make sure it fits.

I'm under the assumption that whatever is on a registry is something that the couple really wants and would appreciate receiving, whether it be a fancy serving bowl or tickets to skydive on their honeymoon. I'm not offended by any of it!

View Quoted Comment Maybe you could add gift cards to your preferred furniture store to your registry. Then you could use them toward the purchase of your new couch once you move.

View Quoted Comment

Oooh I like this idea! FH will like it too, he's dreading the "new couch" price tag lol. Thanks, Ava!!

I think cash or "experience" registries are tacky. Everyone knows cash is a good gift and i don't need a 3rd party taking a cut of my $ to give it you.

In terms of physical gift registries, I think anything that's related to couple/marriage/setting up a house, etc is totally fine. I would have no problems with furniture -people could group gift and lots of people put things like this on a registry assuming no one will buy it, but then they get to use a registry completion coupon to purchase themselves after the wedding. Iphones/ipads/tech stuff like that I dont' love on a registry, but again, people could be doing that fully intending to buy it themselves later, but I think it looks kinda tacky.

"most of the people in my family feel strongly that the only things on your registry for the wedding should be nice items you'll use "forever" (they'll accept normal kitchen items like mixing bowls for the shower, but not for the wedding).": Why for the shower, but not for the wedding ?

" [...] and even iphones": What!?

We only registered for things that we would use together as a couple. I would say that 80% of our registry was for kitchen-related items, but we also included things like a comforter, sheets, vacuum, air purifier, a few high quality picture frames, and luggage. We also had a small honeymoon registry broken down into various activities for amounts between $50 and $100 (we made sure to only include activities that we were 100% confident we would end up doing on our honeymoon). Many of the younger folks around our age went straight to the honeymoon registry, whereas the middle-aged and older people went straight for the physical gifts, or just gave us cash.