What did you have to compromise on for your wedding when planning?

It sounds like you made the smart decision. You should never purchase something you can't afford, and you looked at your finances and determined a videographer simply wasn't in the cards. Good for you. Paying interest to borrow money for something like a wedding is always a mistake.

And honestly, folks who get a wedding video look at it maybe once afterward. It's not worth taking on debt for.

So I completely agree with Whitney about not adding what you can’t afford, but I also like the strategy of picking a few items, either per person or as a couple, that are the non-negotiable must haves and everything else is budgeted around that. I think I remember you posting about this before (sorry if I’m confusing you for someone else who also had to let go of their videographer!), and regardless you seem very heartbroken about this. So my partner and I have a list of the “extras” in order of priority so that we can cut as needed and know which items each person has as an absolute last resort cut. And then we’ll make decisions based on what room we get in our budget from declines. It does sound like you’ll have a recording though, it just won’t be professionally edited, which is totally fine. I hope it comes out beautifully!


But to answer your question, my wedding sacrifice was my gown. I decided early on that I cared more about guest experience, both in terms of food and fun, and people are going to rave about the bride as long as I’m in some pretty dress, regardless of cost. Would I have loved to go crazy and march into a boutique with a few thousand dollars in my pocket? Of course. But the dress I got was both pretty and economical, so it’s all good.

So sorry that you had to cancel your videographer. I too wanted one but it's just not in our budget. So what I will be doing is if someone does video my wedding I will be getting the video from them and making a video myself. I did that with my last wedding and it turned out great and ended up giving certain family members a copy of it if they wanted it.

We didn’t have a videographer in our budget. It was a necessity for us. However, I wanted footage of the ceremony.
We set up a digital camera on a tripod at the beginning of the isle. My brother turned it on and then off after.
Put in fresh batteries and flash card and it was good to go.

Unfortunately, we also had to decide not to do videography. It's something I consistently think about and how I may regret it, but it just wasn't in the budget for us

We were going to get married in October 2020, but postponed it to October 2021. Most of our vendors changed the date, but our venue said we had to "cancel" our original date, no refund on the deposit, and book the new date, paying a new deposit. We had to scrape together an additional $2000 in less than a week after I was laid off to make sure we still had a venue.


From that cost, we cut back severely on florals. I kept my bouquet, bridesmaid florals, boutonnieres, etc, but cut back on reception florals. Only a eucalyptus garland for the sweetheart table, and then we grew pumpkins ourselves for centerpieces. I like to say it was a cute, fall thing to do for an October wedding, and I do love how it turned out, but really it was crunching numbers. Everything else was mostly paid for by the time we postponed

View Quoted Comment

Thank you! You sound just like my fiancé - and I know it is the smart decision for sure! We don't have the extra cash and have already found additional things going over budget that we have to cover. This was one he talked me into that we could cut but still have videos from friends and family, and get the ceremony, first dances, and speeches from two specific people as well. I know it makes sense and will all work out, but my anxiety cannot let it go! Hearing confirmation from others helps a lot though, so I really appreciate it!

View Quoted Comment

Thank you Kimberly! Yeah that was 100% me - still can't let it go. I knew always that photo and video were important to me - those are the tangibles you get to take away from all the planning and such a special day! When I booked them, I went over budget and just through hey, we will deal with it. Come earlier this year - we are looking for a house too and got our floral and décor bill, and my fiancé said we had to make a big cut. Looking at the options - guests, floral/décor, and video. Video seemed the only one. We already sent out save the dates (and went way overboard on who to invite - so add that to the list of mistakes haha) and the cuts I was offering on floral/décor just weren't putting a dent in things - it would have had to come down to like only have bouquets or something. I probably could have put some more effort into that - but was convinced letting go of video would be okay as we would have people record the important stuff! I really just want the memories - I don't need the glamour video shots of my fiancé and I or anything - photos can do that! I did agree to let it go - but maybe having that list would have been helpful. I guess I didn't realize until it was too late how much it was going to bug me! It will all be fine in the end - like we will have videos for sure, just not amazing quality, but if it is for the memories - that is more than fine. And we have the best photographer, so very excited about that. I really appreciate your input on this all! And you are so right about the dress - there are extremely gorgeous ones out there for a reasonable price and your partner is going to be blown away regardless of the price tag! It is reassuring though that a good amount of brides comes into this during wedding planning - sacrifices will have to be made if you don't have loads of cash!

View Quoted Comment

Oh awesome! Glad to hear that process went good for you - going to do the same. My sister and a good friend of my soon to be hubby are really good at video editing, so thinking of doing the exact same thing with all the videos we get! Appreciate you letting me know that is a successful option - thank you!

View Quoted Comment

That is our plan too! Since we had to cut the videographer, we got a close family member and friend to video the ceremony, speeches, and first dance. Then I am having a photo/video sharing app for all the guests to upload whatever they take! I believe we will be able to get enough clips from all that do make a wedding video ourselves to look back at during the years. Yeah it won't be amazing quality; but a video is more to relive the day than anything - and it will do that!

View Quoted Comment

In the same boat as you Ali - hopefully that helps ya! Knowing I am not the only one in this position helps me for sure. I know plenty of people who nixed video but it was more they don't like them or didn't think the money was worth the one or two times they would watch it. It is different when it is something you really want but can't afford - especially not being a thing you can get down the line later when money isn't an issue. Video is now or never. That is why we are at least having a few people film the important parts and then going to encourage guests to share all photos and videos! We can definitely relive the day through those - maybe that is something you can do as well?

Hi Brittany. Hope you can get a laugh from this comedian's video: https://youtu.be/jFZWi3pY-ug

To answer your question, I wanted a smaller wedding and my husband wanted larger. He won out, but we had a good party in the end. No videography. But, my SIL surprised me with shorts using her iPhone, and sent through WhatsApp.

View Quoted Comment

Oh Brenda - that is ridiculous! I am so sorry you had to go through that - especially over a postponement that you had no control over. Sounds like you made the best of your situation though - décor is definitely an item I wish I crunched more numbers over early on. This far in the game, and already putting hours in with the creative director/day of coordinator and florist I hired, I felt like I couldn't switch too much around. Creating the vibe of the day and decorating the place was a big stressor for me and I just wanted to put it in the hands of someone's style I adored. The venue is a bit dated on the inside so had to do some work. And if I did nix it there to get a video, I would see all the changes forever in the video I didn't want to do and be stressed out that way. Who knows, may have gotten over that faster than a videographer loss. I probably would be this stressed out on whatever I had to get rid of I really wanted - obsessive anxiety is the best!

View Quoted Comment

Hahaha - he always cracks me up!!!! Yes I was definitely trying to avoid videos like THAT. So I did so much searching and found a great couple, but of course, sooo expensive and I went over budget - hence why I had to cut them. In the end, the important stuff to me is just have a video of the ceremony, speeches, first dance, and everyone having fun! I 1000% do not need it edited in a movie fashion - and that video just solidified this opinion hahaha. So, I do think that our resolution will give me exactly what I want in the end! Just won't be high quality footage or amazing shots/angles - but that isn't extremely necessary when I just want to relive the moment! So similar to what you got - just in the moment video clips. I know it will be great, I just get in my head sometimes!