What do you do when you receive late RSVPs?

I mean I think you could just ask your caterer and venue to see if there’s any Lee way, if not then you really don’t have to accommodate them

View Quoted Comment Yah, we could. But the point is that planning a wedding freaking sucks. I hate it. And I’m finally done doing everything and basically just have to wait. Now some stragglers decide to put theirs in the mail 3 weeks late? I have to re- do the whole chart, make sure our venue is still good, and pay the caterer again. It’s annoying, rude, and a huge inconvenience. But if we tell them sorry you’re too late is that also rude? It’s awkward, but also their fault. Idk what the protocol is here.

If possible, I would try to accommodate them. I'd call the caterer to ask to ask if a few more can be added - they'll likely allow it, since the caterer would want the extra revenue. If they say no, then reach out to the late RSVPs and say that you're sorry, but since you didn't hear from them, you counted them as a no, and your caterer cannot accommodate them.

When do you need your final count? Annoying, yes, but you invited these people because you wanted them there (I’m assuming). If you can still add them, I say do it. It’s inconsiderate for them to send it late, but with the current situation, I think a lot of people are waiting things out to see how this virus plays out. Don’t “shame” them, but add them to a table and leave it at that. Also, your wedding is October 17? A Sept 1 rsvp date is really early. We are October 11 and our rsvp date was the 20th. Generally three weeks out seems to be the suggestion, which you’re at now.

View Quoted Comment I can’t handle that close of a time line. I’d have been down to the wire buying alcohol, getting our financials locked down, deciding where our budget was at so we could add or nix things to accommodate it, finalizing things with the caterer, knowing a firm number for COVID reasons, etc. We can’t afford a wedding planner so we are doing it ourselves. Seriously, can’t wait for the wedding to be over. It’s extremely stressful and I don’t enjoy planning it at all. I’m excited to be married, but at this point the whole shin dig thing is no longer important. Just marrying Chris is all the matters, and we would totally elope if it wasn’t too late. Also, I know for a fact that they weren’t hesitant on coming due to the pandemic, they just didn’t mail it on time. However, I’m sensing that that doesn’t matter and I should just suck it up and re-do work to accommodate them😕.

View Quoted Comment Just add them to a new table and leave it at that. Sorry your not enjoying planning - this should be a fun time! But you’re right, the marriage is what matters. If your caterer can’t accommodate them, then just let them know you already counted them as a no, but be prepared for some awkward conversations. I bet on the day you’ll be happy they are there.

I say the missed the rsvp deadline so it’s not rude to tell them no

I would just inform them you, you are terribly sorry, had to have final count in a week after the RSVP date. Saves you money and headache!

I totally get it! I feel the absolute same about planning my wedding. I’m so over it and I do not enjoy it anymore. I did my invite deadline early as well because it was the last thing I wanted to worry about.
I would of told them they were past deadline and everything is finalized.
We only had 3 guest that missed the deadline but we let them slide because they told us about their situation which we completely understood but people being late just because is not cool.

Not to be harsh, but did you reach out to those that did not RSVP before you gave the final counts to your vendors? We had an RSVP of 08/31 for our 10/10 wedding. I built in a 1-week leeway for late RSVPs and time for us to reach out to those that didn't return their RSVPs.

Obviously you can't Monday morning quarterback what's already occurred, but I'd definitely reach out to your vendors if you have less than 10 extra, I really don't think it's that much of a big deal. We're expecting and guaranteed 34 but have table settings for 40. (We're NOT expecting any extra, but it's there just in case someone changes their mind).

View Quoted Comment Thanks, you’re probably right. It’s just so stressful I’m probably being cranky 😂.

View Quoted Comment No we didn’t reach out. I just figured we’re all adults and they could be responsible and reply on time 🤷🏼‍♀️. The biggest issue is that if we go over 150 people we automatically owe an additional $500 to the vendor, this is on top of catering costs. Since it’s been almost a month since the RSVP deadline we went ahead and booked a videographer since we didn’t have the additional expense from the guest count. I have reached out to the vendor to see if they are firm at 150 people being the cut off or if there is any sort of leeway. It’s just everything was already done and now we have to redo it. I was so happy to be done with all the big planning, but now I have to refigure things. Plus we’re now over budget. But I guess it’s fine. If need be and it’s an issue we can always tell them they are more than welcome after dinner and can come and enjoy drinks and dancing with us

View Quoted Comment Isn’t it so sad how stressful it is? I wish money wasn’t an issue because I’d hire a wedding planner in a heart beat. That way I can just tell them what we want and they have to do all the leg work 😂. Then I can see it being enjoyable, but doing it all ourselves is awful. We just want to be married and relax! Lol

View Quoted Comment Did you invite more than 150?
I agree that reaching out to them would have been a much better solution, but what’s done is done. See if you can accommodate them and if not then express your apologies to the invited guests.

View Quoted Comment I didn’t expect it to be this stressful lol This wedding has definitely kept me up at night. I wish I budgeted for a wedding planner as well. I just want to show up, enjoy myself and worry about nothing. Lol
I never intended on having a wedding, I just knew I was going to a courthouse if and when I got married.

We are almost there.. It will be all worth it right! Lol

View Quoted Comment We did invite more than 150, and had prepared to pay the extra expenses. However it has been almost a month since the deadline and we assumed that any late RSVP’s had already been sent out and decided to take advantage of the savings. We don’t have a wedding planner, it’s both of our first marriage, we are paying for and planning the entire thing ourselves, and we are both the first in our families to have a traditional wedding (everyone else eloped or did a courthouse ceremony) so we never were advised of what to expect, or appropriate course of action. We just assumed that people would be responsible and polite and reply on time. Everyone that didn’t we just thought they weren’t coming. I thought having a deadline date and saying on the invite anyone that sends it late needs to bring a chair and sandwich was clear enough 🤷🏼‍♀️.

View Quoted Comment Yes, it’s so close! I’m just so happy that we decided to do a first look photo shoot that is private. So we are guaranteed to have at least that time to spend focused on each other on our wedding day.

View Quoted Comment Yes unfortunately when planning any kind of event there is a ridiculous amount of handholding that has to be done. It’s dumb and I agree adults should be able to adult with you holding their hand but even the most responsible just can’t. Try to do what you can to accommodate them but don’t stress yourself out it. Do your best and then move on.

View Quoted Comment Same. We included both our numbers, the website that had all the info and way to RSVP, and either we got no replies or they called/texted our parents about their attendance. Very annoying.

For our 10/10 wedding we had set the RSVP date for September 4th. We reminded guests who didn't send in their RSVP's to send them in. If we didn't get them by that weekend we reached out again and they either just told us who was attending and their meals. September 11th was when we had to give our venue the numbers. Sadly we had 4 guests who originally accepted the invite,decline because of personal issues. We told our venue and she accommodated and just fixed the number of guests and meals. I learned either people don't like sending in RSVP's or they just are so last minute. I agree it's annoying but maybe you should've just checked up on them.