What Guests Don't Care About...

We are not going to do favors, the Grand exit, escort cards, or programs! I do want to have a cake and was not sure if I wanted to do a dessert table, but I am thinking it will be a good idea

I pretty much agree with most of them. Guests don’t care about invites, but I still love ours. And everyone who has seen them has said, “These are the best invites I’ve ever seen”, (we didn’t do traditional invites). So that alone was worth it even if they just throw them out.

We’re doing favours, a candy buffet. One thing I know from going to tons of weddings is that I throw most of the favours out, but always enjoy a treat!

We’re definitely not doing a grand exit. I always found it a little rude when the couple would leave before the party was over. My favourite weddings have been the ones when the couple partied until the very end. Your guests put a lot of effort into going to your wedding, they want to spend time with you. You now have the rest of your lives to leave early. But your wedding, that you should stay for.

We’re not doing a garter toss or a first dance.

I agree that that guests don’t really care about the guest book, but it’s not for them, it’s for the couple. And I always try to write something nice in them when I go to weddings.

Linens? In the end I don’t think decorations mean that much to guests at all. They might appreciate it, but overall they’re going to remember the way they felt at the wedding. But, if the look and feel is important to the couple, then they should go for it.

Thank you so much this was really helpful. I am definitely keeping these tips and will really rethink what we are doing. Thanks!!

I agree with a lot of these! But if people don’t like cake don’t expect a wedding to offer multiple desserts! Cake will probably always be the most popular dessert and you can get a dessert after the wedding if it’s that important! We’re not doing programs, no slideshows and definitely no garter/bouquet toss. Probably no favors either.

View Quoted Comment This ! Not for nothing but it’s MY wedding not my guests 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m kindly inviting and footing the bill for them to share with us but , I will do what makes ME and MY FIANCÉ happy on OUR day. I do like knowing things that are unnecessary for the event . But if watching me and my new husband dance or do a fun toss bothers them in anyway then, tbh I don’t think they have any business at my wedding

We are doing the Guest Book for us by creating artwork that we can place in our home to cherish those who celebrated with us. We are skipping on the Escort Cards. The Wedding Favor is basically the escort card-we are using Vintage Keys with a tag on it telling the Table Number.

No escort cards, slideshows, bouquet/garter toss or grand exit

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We were just going to do a seating chart, but then realized after talking with our caterer, we need them for the plated meal designations. I think place cards depend on lot on catering choices and requirements and are purely functional. If you have to include them for functional reasons, might as well make them look pretty as opposed to an eye-sore.

I agree! I feel like I keep saying it over and over to my MIL. No one cares if the table cloths and napkins match! Don't get me wrong I want things to look nice but I would hope that the people that are coming to our wedding aren't that nit picky!

Just do what you want and screw the rest!

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Exactly!! Some brides get worked up trying to make sure all the details are PERFECT and they match precisely and show that they spent a lot of money and time on them, but guests probably appreciate the effort put into those details all in a matter of 5-7 seconds then keep moving.

We aren’t doing favors because we expect people to take the centerpieces as fAvors, no escort cards or programs or assigned seating. Instead of a traditional guestbook we will have a large canvas or wooden picture to sign because my biggest pet peeve is the guest book won’t be used and with a picture we can hang it and have the memories of those that came in our home to see all the time.

I just got married on October 12th and this is what I found in regards to what guests don't care about...

1. Invitations - To my surprise, most of our guests actually cared about our invitations. Everyone took time to text or call us to tell us how beautiful they were and how the invites made them even more excited for our wedding. Most even brought their invitations with them to the wedding, and we overheard some guests conversing with one another about them.

2. Programs - No one cared about this. We made our own programs last minute and it was a total waste. Out of the stack of 40 we had made, only 6 guests had taken one.

3. Escort Cards - Some guests remarked on how pretty the escort cards were, but in the end, I don't think anyone took theirs home as a "souvenir", so it wasn't super important.

4. Guest Book - This was actually surprising and sad for me... not many guests seemed to care about our Guest Book. We had 55 guests; only 19 signed our guest book. I spent months designing a gorgeous Guest Book that utilized our engagement photos and it was definitely not cheap. We had our guest book on it's own table right as people walked in and moved it after the ceremony to a table during reception, so it's not like guests just missed it. This was definitely a disappointment; it appears guests might not care about your guest book so much these days.

5. Linens - We didn't utilize linens (other than napkins), but in weddings I've attended, yeah I don't really care what linens you're using.

6. First Dance (Keep it short, be yourself! No dance routine.) - I thought guests would be bored of all of the first dances (me & hubby, me & dad, hubby & his mom), but our guests really seemed to love these dances! A lot of our guests video recorded all of the dances and shared them on social media. So I'd say guests care about this!

7. Slideshows - Yeah no. Other than you and your spouse and perhaps some immediate family/super close friends, no one really cares about your slideshow... especially since all of these photos are probably on your Facebook or Instagram anyway.

8. Open Seating (Please assign tables, at least) - Guests absolutely care about having a seat assignment. We had assigned seats at our wedding and guests seemed to be cool with that. As an attendee, I get kind of nervous when I attend a wedding without seat assignments, especially if it's a wedding where I don't know most of the other guests. Definitely put your guests at ease and make a seating chart (at least assigned tables)!

9. Cake (At least have a dessert table for guest that do not like cake to enjoy something else) - Guests absolutely care about cake/dessert! We offered slices of cake, cupcakes, and cookies. Having a variety made everyone happy

10. Bouquet/Garter Toss - This is a toss up. Some of our guests were SO STOKED about this lol while others could honestly care less. But, both of these things happen so quickly that you might as well just do it!

11. Favors - This is another toss up. It depends what the favor is. We did potted succulents, which most of our guests loved and appreciated. However, I once attended a wedding at Disney where the favor was a plastic Cinderella carriage with 2 mints inside. I took the mints and left behind the carriage (what the heck would I do with a tiny plastic carriage?).

12. Grand Exit - I think guests enjoy this. I honestly have never attended a wedding with a grand exit before, but at our wedding everyone seemed to have a lot of fun and enjoy it, so I'm going to say they care about this haha

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Mrs. Cohen, thank you for your insight/feedback on this! You definitely made some valid points!!!

Not doing programs its a waste to me and pretty much feel do have to be put in a paper for wedding. And no slideshows. Already have the guestbook with our engagmement photos and wedding site has our couple photos. Also that is more work to us.

I agree for the most part...

We didn't do programs, linens, definitely not a slideshow (those are way too long, at least at the weddings I've been to that had them), open seating (we assigned tables), cake (but we had lots of desserts), bouquet/garter toss and grand exit.

Guests definitely don't care about invites/save the dates, but we absolutely loved ours and I feel it sets the mode for the wedding. Our friend designed them for us.

I LOVED our escort "cards". Little mosaic marble tiles with names/table numbers done in rose gold. And yes, we hired a calligrapher because my handwriting looks like a 5 year old's.

We did a photo guest book with props! Loved it and so did our guests!

I disagree about people not caring about choreographed dances. Sure, some of our guests probably didn't care, but we took ballroom lessons and did an awesome and very professional foxtrot...and our guests were blown away! And my husband, who has two left feet, did such an incredible job and felt so proud completing the dance to perfection. And the best part? Dancing is now a hobby we still enjoy and we plan to compete one day.

We weren't going to do favors, but we tried to keep things as local as possible and we wanted to showcase our local spice store, so we did a custom pumpkin pie spice blend for everyone to take home.

View Quoted Comment Mate you need to relax. I was just stating my opinion. And no I didn’t watch the video, I said the post made me sad as in what was written in the thread.

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Your opinions are welcomed here, Emma! The purpose of this post was to have open dialogue about wedding planning from a different perspective, more so from the guests' P.O.V. There are some things on this list that I going to do regardless and others that made me second guess myself. Emma, I'm sure that your wedding will be lovely! Happy Planning!!!

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I'm actually perfectly calm. I was just saying that if you only read the post without watching the video, it comes across completely different than intended. The video is fun and lighthearted, basically just her explaining that we, as brides, stress out about things that guests won't truly care about. That's all.

No garter toss. No bouquet throwing. No slideshow. No flowers. No escort cards. I want this to be clean and simple.

View Quoted Comment Okay, I didn’t realise. Thanks for clarifying. I’ll have to watch the video. Sorry for my rudeness