What Guests Don't Care About...

I looooove Jamie. Watching her wedding videos on youtube changed my attitude towards planning a wedding. I went from anxious and upset about all the $$$ I'd be spending to actually looking forward to it! I think the advice is valid (especially the seating chart theory, that is mandatory in my eyes). I believe it's all about your audience. Think about the people you are inviting to your wedding. My 91 year old grandmother will 100% care about a beautiful invitation. So even if I spend $40 and 5 hours at Michaels to put together just one for her, you bet she will be getting a beautiful invitation. If the guest list was mainly made up of young friends, I don't think an expensive invitation would be necessary. Even an e-vite would do. What kind of wedding are you having and who will be there is important to think about when running through this list.

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Well said, Tessa! Yeah Jamie is really laidback, funny and very helpful!

1. Invitations - I have certain family members that care a great deal and either frame or put all the family wedding invites in an album. BUT I found really pretty ones for a very good price so I'm going with those and using the quote on the top to tie a lot of details in. (It will also be on our ring box for example.

2. Programs - very important as we are having a heavily religious ceremony (full mass) with a lot of audience participation. BUT they will be the service "script" style my church uses for all big events (Christmas, Easter, etc) where the number of people in the pews is greater than the number of prayer books and we know not everyone will know it by heart. They wont be expensive and I'll probably also put the hymns in so people can sing along, and if they are left, they are left - they will have done their job if everyone is able to follow and participate in the service.

3. Escort Cards - are also our favors - ornaments with the guests' names and a symbol to correspond to their table (each a different fantasy/literary world). We are putting people at tables where they also really like that book/movie (hopefully) so they will "get" the symbol.

4. Guest Book - doing but it will be a photo framing mat with a collage of our engagement photos inside. Something we can hang on the wall forever.

5. Linens - eh, what ever the caterer has that is included is fine.

6. First Dance (Keep it short, be yourself! No dance routine.) - I was a ballerina, I'm ignoring this - I've been blending our music for months to get it just perfect for our dance. My family and friends used to pay to watch me dance - they get to do it for free that night and then dance with me after. (I will also be in ballet shoes because why not)

7. Slideshows - skipping, doesnt go with our vibe and that would be one more thing to try to get put together.

8. Open Seating (Please assign tables, at least) - absolutely not - there are people who need to be separated by the full length of the room. Everyone is getting an assigned table.

9. Cake (At least have a dessert table for guest that do not like cake to enjoy something else) - we eat cake for everything, we are just doing our cakes.

10. Bouquet/Garter Toss - skipping cause we dont like them

11. Favors - see escort cards - they will be both.

12. Grand Exit - nope. But kinda doing in reverse. Our reception is on the 3rd floor and best accessed by elevator so we will say good bye and good night to everyone at the end by the elevator as they wait for it to return (cant fit everyone at once!) Then when the last guests have gotten on we will have a final dance just the 2 of us.

Lol, I just saw this a couple nights ago. Subscribed immediately!

We are opting out of the garter toss, but I'll still do the bouquet. I did decide to order minimal programs after watching her video and instead I'm inquiring with a hand calligrapher about a quote to design one on a mirror or piece of wood.

Making my own invitations on Canva and keeping it simple.

Program will likely be a chalked up agenda by the entrance for all to see.

What escort cards?

Polaroid Guest Book just for me to remember those who traveled from out of state for our wedding (99% of our guests).

40 second first danceNoo slideshows

No cake. Just cupcakes and other pastries.

No Bouquet toss and all that jazz

What Favors

What Grand Exit

Definitely opting out of favors. The cookies will be the favors. It would be a waste of money to buy personalized stuff for people to just throw away!

I'm opting out of save the dates, garter toss, bouquet toss, dollar dance, programs, grand exit and probably more! I hate attention and would have preferred to elope at this point. But now we're too deep into planning to go back

I've already opted out of Guest Book, Slide Shows, Bouquet & Garter Toss, Favors and Grand Exit.

Our cake cutting will be done discreetly too, I don't want to make people stop dancing/having fun to watch us cut a cake!

When I did wedding photography I found the guests really loved when a slideshow played through dinner and with music playing. Esp when some of the guests were incorporated in some of the photos. It's a great way for them to see the couple through the years! That being said don't have a separate moment where there's nothing but the slideshow going on. Keep it in the background on a loop so they can watch at their leisure.

I definitely agree with most of these except seating, and your exit. It’s doesnt need to be huge but something to get all your guest to see you and the groom are leaving. I’ve been to weddings where they skip this and the guests all end up confused and feel pushed out since the only indicator of the wedding being over was people started breaking everything down and the Dj just stopped playing music. Most of these (like linens, a beautiful cake, seating chart, etc) are just asthetically pleasing and help set the ambiance and make your wedding photos beautiful. I am the kind of person who loves wedding favors and invitations and hold on to them so at our wedding we are doing all of the above except escort card/program and a slideshow. (Social media destroys the originality of showing you and your grooms life photos at the wedding)

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A seating chart will tell them their table number

View Quoted Comment We're having 'open' seating at the ceremony. We don't care what side anyone sits on, just as long as they're there to help us celebrate.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree! Usually at least half of the favors get left behind, and if not they're still thrown away. They're such a waste of money.

As a wedding guest, I love escort cards--I don't care what they look like, but I sure care about them being there! So much easier on my terrible eyes than trying to read a chart.

I also like programs. They don't need to be fancy or huge (mine were very simple bookmarks), but I enjoy looking through them and knowing what part of the ceremony we are on.

I'm ALSO that person who truly appreciates the linen choices, and the first dance is my favorite part of the reception...

1. Invitations....I found a brand new pack of 50 Brides do it yourself invitation kit at Goodwill for $2. They are gorgeous, go with my colours and all I have to do is print them myself. Score!
2. Escort cards. I'm doing them but they are my fun diy aspect and spending about $30 on them total
3. First dance. I'd have skipped it but my FH really wants to do one to "our song" so I'm certainly not saying no. 🙂
4. We're doing cupcakes instead of cake but this was more of a financial decision.
5. My "guest book" is having my guests write on postcards any advice, good wishes, a little drawing etc and then putting them in an album.
Not doing anything else on the list but that's just our choice.

I agree with all except open seating. If you are having a very formal affair I think you definitely should, but I have never been to a wedding that didn't have open seating and it's never been an issue. As long as seats are set aside for family it's not a problem. Adults can seat themselves.

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Are you referring to the ceremony or reception? In the video, she's referring to open seating during the reception.

View Quoted Comment I was referring to the reception. I've never even heard of open seating applied to a ceremony. I've never even heard of anyone doing assigned seating for a ceremony.

We are definitely not doing programs, escort cards, a slideshow, open seating, a bouquet/garter toss, and a grand exit! We are considering doing a non-traditional guest book that we would actually use/like to have in our home.