What if you couldn't afford a gift?

Deborah, no ma'am you're not the only one...

but let's do a ticket sale to make up for gifts not received and how much we've spent per guests:o)

I thought that was uber funny what you posted! LOL!

CNN your post is sorta spinoff from the 'inexpensive gift' post and ya might find a little crossing into yours after folks have read and posted to the other one. it kinda leaves you steamed (the other post)

I think everyone needs to chillax getting all mad talking about gifts. In some cultures that shit is expected.

Oh boy...(noise of chair as I get up to grab popcorn)

I don't think I've checked out that post... Guess I'll mosey my way on over there.

I believe that if you wanted to go and give a gift they should send the RSVPs out early enough so that even if you are right on cash you can start saving. Everyone could come up with day $50 bucks in 12 weeks, that's only puttingn away $4 a week. You could also not give a cash give and make them something, I have a few friends in college right on money and they have decided to make us things. One is knitting us a blanket and another has offered to make a picture grouping of our wedding photos for us. Hence why I think it is completely rude for people to not give a gift in some way.

It is absolutely not rude to not give a gift. Expecting people to bring gifts is rude. They are gifts. They are optional and no one is ever obligated to give one.

I have attended weddings where I couldn't afford to bring a gift. I brought a nice card and, if I was able, sent a gift later. But even saving a couple dollars a week wasn't possible, because I'd be lucky to have a few dollars left once my necessary expenses were paid before my next check. Yay for working to try and pay for college.

I've not brought gifts before, but only when I've had to pay quite a bit in travel fees just to attend the wedding. One time it was an old coworker that I hadn't talked to in about a year, the other it was very dear friends, but we offered to cover the cost of a weekend getaway the next time they visited us.

Other times what I've done is go in on a gift with other guests. Friend from high school got married a couple years ago, and we all pitched in on a fancy coffee maker that was on their registry, then each brought a pound of locally roasted coffee from our respective cities (we had all moved away except for the bride). We had other friends that didn't need any household items, and we had to travel, so we took them out for a fancy dinner and a free flight (FH is a pilot) shortly after they got engaged as their wedding present.

After reading a bunch of posts, I'm beginning to think gifts aren't nearly as big a deal in my area/family/social circle.

As has been stated, technically you have a year to send a wedding gift. It's one of the problems with B-listing. It shortens the window a guest has to budget for a respectable gift. I wouldn't decline an invitation because I was short on funds, but I would give the couple a card with a note that a gift will follow. I wouldn't take the entire year. I would do my absolute best to get them a gift (and it doesn't have to be cash or something off of their registry) within the next six weeks.

I would still go.

I would give them a card wishing them all the best with a note saying their gift will be a bit late. I would contact the couple later with their gift. Probably something around $50. I don't like the idea of having to cover the cost of yout plate.

I would assume this close friend who wants to share his/her special day with me is more interested in my presence than my 'presents' and would go (assuming I could put my hands on decent attire). I would truly be sad to hear a friend wanted me to stay away rather than have to feed me and not get a present.

If I couldn't buy something from their registry or afford a check/cash, I could always get a gift card with credit card points. It might not be as much as my plate or to a store where they registered but it'd be an applicable gesture.

I'm not a bride who invites people because they are bringing gifts. I would much rather everyone I invited showed up and no one brought a single gift than if all the people who couldn't afford a gift didn't come.

I don't believe in this coverage cost of your plate crap. I am paying for the wedding and I budgeted that much for food because that is what I wanted. Why is it my guests job to give me a gift that costs a minimum of that amount.

That is complete bull and to be offended that your guests didn't cover the cost of their plate with the goft they gave is bad etiquette in my opinion!

Go to the wedding and have fun, give a nice card and what YOU can afford. If you want to give a gift later do so but don't feel obligated with this cost of your plate nonsense.

❤❤

I don't really expect gifts for our wedding (but would undeniably love a gift ;] ). I want my guests to be there for us and to have a good time celebrating.

I'd go even if I couldn't give a gift. I'll give them a card, but I would feel guilty for sure being empty handed (gift-wise)

Also, I think it depends on how well I knew the person. If it were good friends or family I'd find a way to gift them.

One of my friends called me saying they were rsvping no because they couldn't afford a gift and they were embarrassed, I said I invited them because I wanted them there and not for a gift. I said if that wad the only think holding them back that they should think it over. They rsvped yes in the end and I'm happy they are coming, gift or no gift

Just my two cents, it makes me sick when people EXPECT gifts out of people. yes, cash and gifts are great, but i'd rather my friends/family be at my wedding than worry about if they got me a gift or not and not attend because they couldnt afford a gift. so yes, i would go, and i'd give them a nice card and send them a nice gift later on when i could.

@Bennet lol! where is that thread?? I was like honey bunches of NO!

Honestly, if I cared about the couple enough to want to go to their wedding, they'd likely be the kind of people who would prefer to have me there without a gift than have me stay home because I couldn't afford one. That being said, I'd try to find some way to give them a gift of services--maybe preparing some food for the wedding, or taking photos if they didn't have a professional photographer, or making them a website.

I would go because anyone whose wedding I would bother going to isn't a greedy monster. I would send something later though.

Also, as a bride, I would be so sad if I found out someone didn't come solely because they couldn't afford a gift. I'm inviting people I want there, not only ones who can buy me nice stuff (gifts are great but I get being in dire financial straits)

I would go anyway, then later I would send a gift as soon as I could. Or if time permitting, perhaps make them something, like a scrapbook or something cheap but meaningful.