What is a must have for you as a guest?

Good food and an open bar.

I agree with Samantha- good food and an open bar (and a great DJ doesn’t hurt either!) definitely help create a fun experience for guests! Another important thing is being mindful of providing a comfortable guest experience (ie, plenty of comfortable seating for every guest, not forcing guests to wait long periods of time in between events, not seating people outside in incredibly hot/humid weather, etc.)

Plenty of food and drinks. We’ve been to a few weddings where they either ran out of food or ran out of staples at the bar (like having coke or bottles of water) and those stood out to me a lot when we were planning.

Enough seating. I’ve been to both ceremonies and receptions where there wasn’t enough seating. 15 minute ceremony no big deal. 30 minutes or more of standing and I’m no longer paying attention and just wondering when I can sit down


I’ve also been to receptions where I was eating dinner standing at a bar table and there was really no where to sit. People were sitting on the floor.

- Good music that everybody knows. I just went to a reception where half the playlist was Israeli dance music. It's cool to have a few of those songs, I get that it's meaningful to the couple... but if I have no idea what's going on for a full hour, then I can't party and I'm gonna sit there miserable. Also please make sure it's at a volume that people can still make conversation without shouting all night.

Edited to add:

- Reasonable length of time for speeches/parent dances. If your FIL is the type to ramble, give him a limit of 2 minutes or 2 pages or something. People will tune out if these go on too long, especially before the meal is served.

Good food, booze, and climate control. I hate outdoor weddings especially in the summer, but unfortunately due to COVID they're going to become even more popular so it is what it is (but please, for those planning summer outdoor weddings, think about ways to keep the space cool or provide frozen drinks for your guests or something). Clear communication about parking / transportation options is also much appreciated. Keeping the ceremony and speeches to a reasonable length and avoiding long delays between ceremony and reception are great, but less critical for me as long as I'm physically comfortable and well fed with access to an open bar.

Music is important too, but I think the bride and groom should mostly go with what they love and know their close friends/families will like vs. stressing about creating a playlist that caters to everyone on their guest list. If the music isn't totally my cup of tea, I'll still find a way to have fun.

I seem to be in the minority thinking that drinking is not necessary to a good time. I personally don’t feel comfortable paying for people to drunk, lol

Great food, open bar, comfortable climate (not too hot not too cold). No long speeches. Anything else is a bonus!

Great food, an open bar, and a good dj/band. Also tables that aren't too crowded.

Good food great atmosphere (food music etc). Ive been to weddings where all I did was sit at my table bored out of my mind because the music sucked and the food wasnt great.

Good food, open bar, and good DJ.

Good food !

As a guest, timing has been a make/break thing for me. Every wedding will have its hiccups, but if the cocktail hour turns into an hour and a half, speeches are too long, etc. those things have always stood out to me the most.

A short but meaningful ceremony is important to me. I’ve been to long, religious ceremonies & it really detracts from the couple & emotion that I like to see. Also, personal vows!
As for reception: I agree that good food and an open bar is nice. I’ve been to weddings where they switch to a cash bar after a certain amount of time, and that was fine too. It just has to be communicated.
Unlike others here, I appreciate the speeches. Like the ceremony, I think these are the what make the wedding meaningful. I would be happy to make my wedding an open mic night lol, but we aren’t doing that. I don’t really care about dancing, but if you’re going to have a dj, they had better be stellar. Most of the weddings I’ve been to would have been better off without the dj 😬

A great DJ is a must! I’ve been to several weddings that didn’t have open bars (or any alcohol) and I didn’t even miss it because the FJ was so entertaining!

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Yes thank you! Can't stand it when the music is so loud, I can't even talk to anyone. I have a quiet voice in general so this is also why I avoid night clubs, etc. I prefer background music over deafening pounding all night! lol