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June 2021

What is the latest our officiant should arrive?

Marybeth, on May 26, 2021 at 7:27 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 9
Our officiant is also a family friend.... and just told me he’s going to his daughters dance recital at 2.


Our wedding is at 3.
Apparently she’s first and her thing is like 10 minutes than he’s leaving and he’s 15 minutes away from the ceremony.
His form says he will be there no less than 20 minutes people but to me that is no wiggle room! What if there is traffic?
SOS.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Marybeth, on May 28, 2021 at 5:59 AM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    Our officiant was hired, but she only got there about 15 minutes before our ceremony was set to start. We didn’t need her for anything beforehand so I don’t see why your officiant would need to be there early.
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  • M
    June 2021
    Marybeth ·
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    You don’t worry that there will be something that causes him to be late? Like early not to be early but for the sake of being prepared is there is traffic, an accident, etc.
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    I mean, that could be possible, but if he’s saying he’ll be there 20 minutes before and he’s giving himself the time to make that possible, I don’t see an issue. He likely wouldn’t leave sooner from his house than to get there 20 minutes before, so I guess I don’t see this as different.
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  • Emily
    Devoted June 2021
    Emily ·
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    Yikes! That SHOULD be enough time but doesn’t allow for anything like traffic jams. But, what can you do? I’d pray everything stays on schedule... even the recital starting on time right at 3 is questionable (I’m a dance teacher and they never start on time at my studio). I would ask him if he could be there virtually for her event or have someone tape it.
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  • M
    June 2021
    Marybeth ·
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    I know he really wants to be there at his daughter's recital so i dont think virtual will do it for him..i think i'm going to ask him to leave at a specific time whether or not it starts on time and he gets to see her. it's only the right thing to do. he made a commitment to us before the recital date was announced. and yeah our church is on a busy busy main road that has had construction for YEARS. it's actually crazy how long it's taking them to finish up this road lol.

    idk. i feel like, if he promises me he'll be with me at 2:40, then there isn't much i can do or say - it just sucks cause if he's late, it's going to seriously damage our relationship and his relationship with our family members. (he's actually married into our family.) our entire family including his brother, which is my brother in law (that's how we're related, my fiance's sister married the officiant's brother) thinks he's nuts for doing this. plus we're on an very strict photography schedule.

    but i think he knows all of that so hopefully he takes us seriously. plus we are going to have a talk with him to reiterate how important it is that he is at the church at 2:40.

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  • M
    June 2021
    Marybeth ·
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    I know he really wants to be there at his daughter's recital so i dont think virtual will do it for him..i think i'm going to ask him to leave at a specific time whether or not it starts on time and he gets to see her. it's only the right thing to do. he made a commitment to us before the recital date was announced. and yeah our church is on a busy busy main road that has had construction for YEARS. it's actually crazy how long it's taking them to finish up this road lol.

    idk. i feel like, if he promises me he'll be with me at 2:40, then there isn't much i can do or say - it just sucks cause if he's late, it's going to seriously damage our relationship and his relationship with our family members. (he's actually married into our family.) our entire family including his brother, which is my brother in law (that's how we're related, my fiance's sister married the officiant's brother) thinks he's nuts for doing this. plus we're on an very strict photography schedule.

    but i think he knows all of that so hopefully he takes us seriously. plus we are going to have a talk with him to reiterate how important it is that he is at the church at 2:40.

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  • M
    June 2021
    Marybeth ·
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    Yeah i guess i just wonder why he even told me about the recital unless he thought it would make him late. it's non of my business what he does before if he's there on time, so he really should have kept it to himself if he knew he was going to be on time. i think he mentioned it because he knows there's a possibility he'll be late and he wants me to sympathize with him which..i dont lol it's a 4 year old dance recital she'll have more and i only get one wedding

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  • D
    Savvy April 2022
    Dabblinggadwall ·
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    He believes he will be on time, he is an adult, and you trust him - so trust him. Or replace him so you are not stressing about this for months. But certainly don't tell him that your wedding is more important than his daughter's dance recital - to him, it is not.

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  • M
    June 2021
    Marybeth ·
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    Months 😅 my wedding is in 8 days and he told me this a couple days ago. He made a commitment to me months ago and just found out about the recital. And this is his JOB. Soo I don’t think it’s acceptable to take a chance on my wedding for her recital, sorry but that’s unprofessional. Plus he’s a family friend and our pastor soo besides not have time to find someone else out it won’t look good on us.
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