What NOT to do at/for your wedding (Spinoff from Cheapskate Nik's Post)

I don't think that the brides mean to be selfish, but some just don't think through the event and the details. Many of these sound like oversights, following traditions without thinking it through, and not having (or listening to) the professionals you hire. What I glean from this is to focus on the details and put yourself in the guests shoes when making a decisions AND have a plan B for the worst case scenario.

These posts on the forums also help a lot for planning...

Yep E.K.! They have definitely influenced my decision because I heard other perspectives to what I thought would be "great" or "understood".

~Do not invite OOT guests and leave them with nothing to do/no ideas or welcome basket the night before your wedding. We attended a wedding in small town North Carolina (tiny town) and had to drive an hour to get dinner Friday night b/c only family was invited to reh din., and the bride and groom didn't have the courtesy to leave any info on late night options after we drove in three hours from the nearest airport. Also, if your OOT guests make the effort to fly/drive to your wedding, they would like to spend more than 5 minutes with you at the reception. Welcome party, brunch, something.

~DO NOT fry your guests. If you have an outdoor wedding in JULY in the south, provide some friggin' shade for cryin' out loud. OR SUNSCREEN. Seriously, it was 95 degrees, full Episcopalian ceremony, in chairs out in a field in the blazing sun in July. We were TOASTED. My poor FH (who has a little hereditary baldness goin' on already) had a fried head, and my shoulders were toast. NOT cool.

Oh..don't get so excited that when during your Recessional you walk 3/4 of the way down the aisle and then grab your unexpecting new husband's hand and run the rest of the way..causing him to trip on your detatchable train and it having to be sewn back on ... not the best option... been there, done it..still get grief 20 years later..LOL

Don't let your Mom anywhere near the management of your reception site, if there is any questions YOU want to ask... they might get upset and close down your reception early and kick out your guest... yeppers, that one 2.

Please ask someone to be in charge of making sure your Church/Ceremony site, if different from you Reception site, is perfect and cleaned up..nothing funnier than being 45 mins late to your own reception because you had to run the sweeper through the entire Church and Vestibale in your Wedding Gown...Bird seed too!

Be kind to those who offer their help to you, they may not allways do it your way, but it's the thought that counts.

@ Ab Z and Carla: Baby bottles really did happen! It was terrible. The girl is now 17 and can laugh about it, but kids don't know that they are champagne glasses . They think its gingerale or something. So my advice is to be careful. Not everyone will have crazy people fill bottles at their wedding, but I was trying to point out to be careful.

And the winner from a Wedding today:

Do allow a crafty friend to do your flowers, all the decoratins and everything, if you have seen her work or been at a Wedding she did and enjoyed the envirorment.

Don't approve items from same said friend and allow her to purchase the approved items and then during the tear down, tell friend, "Why don't you use that --- for another bride, and the custom this for another Bride" meaning, I only BORROWED them from you and will not be paying for them..sorry.. ending up being the entire approved tablescape, the large 3 piece cut glass mosaic pieces used in place of the "boring and over done plain unity candle set" various framed art pieces.. oh, did I mention the actual work was her wedding gift, and she asked no one else to help decorate or tear down the Sanctuary..I'm thinking the Wedding faires were suppose to do it for her??"""

Also, do not tell said friend that her work is nice, the colors (custom spray painted) are good. Here's a pic of Arch.

If you're going to do a cocktail hour, please make sure you have a place for people to sit. And by people, I mean the women in the 2 to 5 inch heels who's feet are killing them and they can't hold their clutch, wine, and appetizer and eat the darn appetizer without spilling something.

Like I said, "some" brides. Mostly I was thinking of the bar-hopping example. I want to clarify that I didn't mean "selfish" as in maliciously, knowingly selfish, but just the getting caught up in the "Me" mindset and not putting themselves in the guest's position.

It is very helpful for the oversights though, for sure.

Dont ask me and the fh to pay for our drinks at your wedding that you indeed spent money on in the first place for all to have fun at!! ( true it did happen... he was a gm in a wedding and we had to pay for our drinks!!!! guests did not have to judt the wp!!!!!)

PLEASE do have a variety of foods not everyone is a carnivore or herbivore!! Some like to eat veggies!!! =]

PLEASE also as a bump ... NO RENTED PORTAPOTTIES!!!! thanks! cause they smell and the water is blue from the wretched thing in the water yuck just yuck to sit down on a portapotty very yuck!

DO HAVE A GOOD TIME not a stuffy boring monotone wedding!!! It is your one chance to do a huge party the right way... so do it up! ( as far as your budget allows)

I got a couple.....

Make sure your caterer/ servers do not pick up drinks or plates if the guests are not finished! At a friends wedding the cake was super tiny but I somehow got a piece. went to get a drink and when I came back my cake was gone!

Do not allow your so called bartender to pour the beer from a can into your guests cup...that looks trashy.

don't tell your grandpa that he can't bring a date because you don't want to pay for an extra plate! Horrible

Lisa, what's wrong with roses and poinsettias? I'm not trying to be a smart @$$, just curious. I'm getting married around Christmas and they (poinsettias) will be in the church. Also, my bouquet are a tight bunch of red roses with a babys breath crown.

Nothing at all they are lovely when color and season approperate.

Let me explain, please.

Bride wore khaki cotton,colored dress, street lenght with torquiose blue and vivid orange hybiscus flowers and palms with large print. no hair piece or veil.

Bride favorite color orange\groom red

Bride origianlly wanted: Garden roses, honey suckle vine (beauty varity) in figure 8's in the bouquets and boutonnieres,large white pointsettas, stafts of wheat, lilly of the valley,ranuculus. carnations and ivy. All silk btw

Orange tones were preferred and reds were a must as well.An all white or ivory bouquet was out of the question, changing her Bridal outfit was also not an option.

She was wed in a small Ohio country church in August (yesterday)

going for a tropical theme was also not an option.

Rebecca, your choices are lovely and very season appropriate, I think it will be visually stunning

Ah! I see! I looked at your previous post, I would never do that to a friend. Horrible!!! I would be steaming for awhile about that, don't blame you if you were. You put a lot of love into these. The bouquet is very nice.

Yes, I cannot wait to see all the flowers! It's one of my favorite parts of the planning progress. Chicks love flowers (as my FH says jokingly of course)

I am caulking it up as a "lesson learned" and thinking that my karma is good to go for bit, barring I don't become an axe murder in the near future..

Yes, the flowers are my favorite part of any wedding, well actually any event!

Enjoy your planning process and only work with people who will share YOUR vision.

Since your Wedding is holiday time. think about adding a little bit of metallic to the mix, will look expensive, add interest and open up an entire world of design options.

best of luck and thanks for understanding

This is an awesome thread! Thanks guys, I'm newly engaged and have only been to two weddings EVER - one when I was 3? as a flower girl, and the second one when I was 8? also as a flower girl, so my understanding of weddings... well is obviously a bit sketchy. We were originally looking at hiring a property/mansion and self catering the wedding, but then we thought of port-a-potties... ewww.

Is it bad to have guests have the option to RSVP online or by a phone call instead of a RSVP card?

Is it bad to have a weekday wedding (undecided on this???)

The only problem with a weekday wedding is that some folks will be unable to get time off work/school. The upside is that it's significantly cheaper! As for RSVPs, we're doing email (for most of our guests who are internet savvy), website and traditional cards to mail. We set up a separate email just for the RSVPs, which will forward to my regular email.

I figured we'd get back more RSVPs that way. I'm horrible about getting things in the mail, so I'm sure others will be too. They just have to pop online for a sec and say they are coming!

You have a lot of great ideas! I wrote a blog post recently on the same topic called Budget Wedding Secrets - Tip #8: What NOT to do when Planning a Budget Wedding at http://budgetweddingsite.com/budget-wedding-secrets-tip-8-what-not-to-do-when-planning-a-budget-wedding. You might want to check it out.

Diane Owens, author, Budget Wedding Secrets: How to Have a $30,000 Wedding for Less Than $10,000