What to call each other?

I say call each other whatever suits you. If you want to call him your husband go ahead and do it and then do the significant other or partner thing for legal documents. I know a woman that did the same thing your doing and she called herself his wife. Well now they're not together so he's her kids father now and not an ex husband 😉

I think it depends on you guys. You can say husband and wife, partners, significant other, or man and woman. I think you’ve thought through what you’re doing and I commend you! Ignore people saying you’re trying to rip off the government or that you’re untrusting. You do what makes YOU happy. These commitments are to each other so you should call each other what you want to call each other.

View Quoted Comment They'd ABSOLUTELY be fine to call each other husband and wife. I have a friend who's been "engaged" to her kids dad for 6+ years and we all refer to them as husband/wife.

Legally we're in different circumstances. We get the tax, healthcare, legal defaults, etc benefits. For us it makes more sense.

I recommend calling him your husband if that is how you feel. Before the supreme court marriage decision, gay couples would have non-legal weddings and call each other husband and husband (or wife and wife). I am not trying to say it is the same situation. However, if that is how you view yourself then sure. For legal stuff, significant other / partner works fine.

The government does not determine what marriage is... God does.

I know that's an unpopular thing to say nowadays but it's the truth regardless.

So, if you're making an oath to your partner in front of God and Man and are joined by a minister, I would say you're about as married as any. Go ahead and call each other husband and wife.

Now, the government does choose to benefit those that are joined in marriage with certain tax incentives etc etc. If you decide that this isn't appealing to you, then I think it's fine to skip it.

I'm not sure which programs you are referring to that only single parents can get but many of these are income based and that goes off of who is in the house, married or unmarried. So you may think you qualify for these programs but in all actuality you do not, and if you lie about it you'd be committing fraud. Tax wise you're better off getting married since the standard deduction is higher. You're better off paying for a pre-nup so if anything happens your pre-marital properties/accounts should be fine.

View Quoted Comment Well that's just it - it seems to me she's trying to have it both ways. You can't thumb your nose up at the government on the one hand, saying "you don't tell me whether I'm married or not" while at the same time holding your other hand out, taking government benefits intended for truly single parents who have no other help in the household. While it may be true that God determines who is married in the heart, the God I know would weep at the thought of depriving truly needy children.

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Can confirm.

I actually work for a program that does just this.

The determining factor is income, which is scaled to household size so really its not going to help all that much unless one spouse makes a significant amount more than the other.

I have plenty of married couples who can still benefit from the program.

What about a domestic partnership? I don't know if it differs or rules or anything but as far as I know, when you live with eachother in your own place for 7+ years you are legally concidered domestic partners and have all the same rights (I believe) as a married couple. I would look into just making a legal thing though as your possessions if someone passes, hospital rights, etc may only be eligable for those legally married.

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No comments for OP, but Roxana, so with you on this!

View Quoted Comment Most the ones around here count partners / boyfriends / fiance / grandma / grandpas / etc. There isn't a good way to skirt the requirements.

I also have a friend who had a wedding (basically what you want) but never signed a marriage certificate so aren't technically married. They call eachother husband and wife but idk how people would feel about it. Hell, some people call my fh my husband already haha

You can use "spouse." I work in healthcare and that's what we call a SO who is either married or not married- it's a general term for the partner... and if people don't know, they would just assume you were legally married.

Do you both have health insurance? FH's employer doesn't offer it because he works for a small business- so this is one benifit we are really looking forward to because he has some health issues he has put off because of cost. We've been together 7 years now but Ohio abolished common law marriage almost 30 years ago. So unfortunately I can't share my benefits with FH until we are married. This is NOT the reason we are getting married, just to make that clear lol! But we are definitely excited about that part. First thing- he's getting a check up for the first time since we've been together!