What to do about reception?

If the 79 people are invited to the ceremony they should also be invited to the reception. If your reception space cannot accommodate them all, I would suggest not inviting them to the ceremony or do a virtual ceremony and all in attendance at the ceremony should be invited to the reception.

Everyone at the ceremony must also be invited to the reception. Even if it's just cake and coffee immediately following at the church. Anything hosted beyond that is a separate event

Hi Sarah, the reception should be what you and your fiancé wants. Even though it’s very generous of your mom to host, it’s truly about what you guys want. I’m a people pleaser and was pulled in so many directions. If you want it with all or just immediate family, do what makes you happy ❤️ In covid times, it’s my belief if you want just immediate family afterwards, that’s understandable. 🌸💐❤️

You can totally do a ceremony only. It’s not like you’re going to have a reception at a venue after and only invite half the people you invited to the ceremony. All you’re doing is going to your immediate family’s house. If you do want a bigger reception, then I would suggest just getting a venue instead, but this is your day ultimately.

It’s actually not uncommon for certain parts of the celebration to be family only. I would word the invitation as the wedding with no reception to follow for non family and a separate invitation for the family with reception info.

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Michelle is correct. Everybody invited to the ceremony needs to be invited to the reception, or else you will risk offending your guests and losing friendships. I would definitely be offended if I were invited to someone's ceremony but not the reception! Michelle's suggestion of cake and coffee (or cake and punch) is something I would definitely consider in your case.

You can't invite people to a ceremony and not host them at a reception afterwards. That is the entire point of the reception - to thank the people for attending the ceremony. It's horrifically rude to invite people to just the ceremony.

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That doesn't exempt one from basic etiquette hosting rules.

Of course you're feeling guilty, because you absolutely should... Under NO circumstance is it ever okay to invite people to your ceremony but not your reception! I honestly can't think of anything ruder. This would be the biggest breach of wedding etiquette humanly possible. If you want to invite 79 people to your ceremony, then you need to be prepared to host a reception of some format for 79 people. It can be cake and punch, but needs to be something. If I were a guest and you invited me to your ceremony but not your reception, I would probably cut you out my life so fast and consider our friendship terminated.

Maybe on your invites you can call it a “Ceremony Only” wedding —I don’t really know if this is a thing, but anything flies during Covid times!! Like others were saying, you could have cake and a champagne toast directly after the ceremony and then your guests can be on their way. Your mother can host your smaller family only event after the ceremony celebration is over!

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Actually this is not correct. Proper etiquette still applies during Covid and the pandemic is not a free pass to be rude.

View Quoted Comment Oh Michelle, that is clearly not what I meant. What I mean to say is that people will be more understanding especially during a pandemic. If some sort of food is being provided, I personally feel that most guests would be okay with this. I know that I would be okay with that, but I cannot speak for other people. I’m not all that into old fashioned traditions, but that’s just me. Also, since we are in the middle of the pandemic, the less time a large group of people spends in a room together, the better. The guests are there to celebrate the bride and groom and things have to be done different now because of the pandemic. People need to get creative during these times. The bride and groom make the decisions they want for THEIR wedding and all guests should respect that — and if they can’t then they don’t have to come!

I think it's fine to invite everyone to the ceremony and not reception in these circumstances, but it's best to be done by word of mouth. I know other couples who did this because, as you said, the ceremony is the most important part. I had a minimony and I had friends ask to come just for the ceremony (unfortunately, I wasn't allowed to accomodate them but I would have). If people live in town, they may eant to attend the ceremony anyway

View Quoted Comment I'm very traditional and by the book, and i 100% agree with your assessment and idea

I also see no problem with inviting everyone to the ceremony, and just have a reception with your family. It's not uncommon, and your guests will more than likely understand that the pandemic has been changing a lot of things as far as weddings go. Honestly if I were your guest, I wouldn't be mad that you were having a gathering afterwards with just family.

Ultimately, you need to do what you and your FH want. If you don't feel comfortable having a family only reception, then don't have one.

I am shocked with how many people seem to think this behavior is ok. The OP did NOT say that this plan was due to Covid. If it were, then I'm confused, because ceremonies are even less socially distanced than receptions.

In what universe is it common to have a wedding with a ton of guests and only invite 10% of them to the reception? If this plan were due to Covid, then the most logical thing to do would be to have everyone else attend the ceremony virtually and only those few family members in person. The offensive part is asking guests to attend an in-person ceremony and not even providing them with any kind of food afterwards.

OP could easily solve this problem by buying a large sheet cake from the grocery store and some lemonade or coffee to serve to her guests after the ceremony. Shouldn't cost more than $100.

View Quoted Comment It is due to covid.

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In that case, if I were in your position, I would invite the 79 guests to attend the ceremony VIRTUALLY and only invite the people who you plan on inviting to your reception to attend in person. As a guest, I would NOT be upset to be excluded from a reception if the majority of guests were attending the ceremony virtually. It's the idea of an in-person ceremony and then being asked to leave without any reception which I'd find rude. I think if you did a primarily virtual ceremony, then you wouldn't have to worry about offending people

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I agree with Sara. It is harder to social distance at a ceremony so if this is due to COVID it doesn’t make sense.

Yes things are different now during a pandemic but you don’t want to hurt the feelings of those who are important enough to see you get married.

Heeeeey this is your wedding!
Plan according you're hearts desire!!!
IMO! Yes it's very rude and selfish! But hey... to each their own!!!