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Just Said Yes June 2021

What to do about reception?

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Sarah, on February 13, 2021 at 10:49 PM

Hi everyone, I’m getting married on June 12. Our list is 79 people - coworkers, family, close friends. I am getting ready to buy invitations and feel stuck. My mother wants to have a little reception at her house, and I know it’s rude to not invite guests to the reception. I wouldn’t even call it a reception - probably just me, groom, parents, his parents, our siblings, maybe his grandmother, best man and maid of honor. I know guests would probably be understanding but I have some guilt about this. We want to invite everyone to the ceremony because we feel that’s what is most important. I just don’t want anyone to be upset.

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25 Comments

Expert September 2020
Amanda · on February 15, 2021 at 11:46 AM
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I think your best bet in this scenario would be to livestream the ceremony to the “non-vip” guests and have the in person ceremony and reception/luncheon with those you were planning to celebrate with after the ceremony. You’ve already received plenty of opinions on etiquette so I suggest from a logistical and sensible standpoint this makes sense.
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Super December 2021
Casey · on February 15, 2021 at 1:31 PM
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Exactly this!! I've seen SO many people saying "it's okay because COVID!" And I'm thinking "wha- no??" Certain things make sense, this makes none! If you can have them at the ceremony then you host them for a reception and I agree with Sara again, cake and punch is totally fine! Do that and have the family dinner after, that's fine!
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VIP June 2019
Hanna · on February 15, 2021 at 1:36 PM
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I agree with this as well. I'm struggling to understand how it would be safe to cram 79 guests into a ceremony venue but it would not be safe to have them spread out and eat a slice of cake afterwards. If you don't want to provide a reception for all those in attendance at the ceremony, then I think your best bet is to have a live-streamed ceremony with only your nearest and dearest there in person, and then you could have the gathering at your mom's house with only the select number of in-person guests that you were envisioning.
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on February 15, 2021 at 4:40 PM
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I'm curious why it's safe for those 79 people (coworkers, family, close friends) to gather for a ceremony but unsafe to gather for a reception. COVID doesn't care what event it attends.
It's either safe to host a wedding, or it's not. If you don't feel like it's safe to have that big a crowd in one place, postpone your wedding, elope, or just invite your immediate family.
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Dedicated September 2021
Ashley · on February 15, 2021 at 6:56 PM
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My fiance and I have considered only hosting a ceremony and then a small reception for only immediate family and the bridal party as a back-up plan in case COVID craps on our traditional ceremony/reception plans. A change in our world sometimes calls for changes to how we have to live our lives. Anyone on this thread crying about "proper etiquette" and how it's automatically rude to not invite everyone to a full-on reception needs to realize that times change and so does etiquette.
If you're super worried, have coffee and a little nibble for after the ceremony. There are plenty of morning weddings that do this and it isn't rude. It is your wedding and the people you invite hopefully would want to celebrate with you without needing to be bribed by food and reception stuff
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