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Laura78
Beginner September 2021

What to do between ceremony and reception

Laura78, on May 4, 2021 at 11:08 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 15
I’m getting married in a church. The wedding has to be at 1 pm. I’m not sure what to do for guests between the wedding and reception. I’m assuming the wedding will get over by 2 and then we will do photos. I have my DJ for five hours. Didn’t want to start the reception until 4:30-5. I guess I could do apps, drinks and games between the ceremony and reception. Any ideas?

15 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on May 5, 2021 at 10:57 AM
  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Have a very extended cocktail hour.

    People will be antsy waiting for the reception to start. Contrary to belief, people will not go out sight seeing or nap/shower. Try to minimize the gap as much as possible. What is the driving time to the reception?

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  • Laura78
    Beginner September 2021
    Laura78 ·
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    About 15 minutes. I hate that the wedding time has to be so early.
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  • Gabby
    Devoted October 2021
    Gabby ·
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    Honesyly id start the reception at like 3 or 330. If I was a guest I wouldn't want to wait until 430 or 5 for it to start and then stay for several more hours.
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  • Laura78
    Beginner September 2021
    Laura78 ·
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    And serve dinner and end the night early? I just have the DJ for five hours. I could pay for longer.
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    It would work well to start your cocktail hour (which is really the start of the reception) at 2 or 2:30 (depending on how long your ceremony actually is, and to account for travel time between locations. That will make sure your guests are hosted while you take your photos. And then continue with the rest of the reception activities starting at 3 or 3:30, when you arrive after finishing your photos. There's no need for an unhosted gap.

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  • M
    Expert September 2021
    Marianne ·
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    I've actually attended multiple weddings where the ceremony was in the early afternoon (like between 12-1pm) and the reception didn't start until 4-5pm. I was in the wedding party for one, so we took a bunch of pictures around town and then hung out at a bar until it was time to head to the reception. I was a guest for the other and essentially did the same thing - found a bar and hung out with friends! It worked well for me in both scenarios since I was familiar with the areas and had people to spend time with, but it may not be the ideal situation for everyone, so I do agree to try and minimize the gap as much as possible.

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  • Natalie
    Devoted January 2022
    Natalie ·
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    Have a "catholic gap". Basically free time between the end of the ceremony and the beginning of the reception where you're not hosting, and guests are free to do whatever they want. Typically they go home or back to their hotel and change into fancier clothing, or they have lunch.

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  • Maureen
    Devoted November 2021
    Maureen ·
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    Send them to a bar!!! I’ve been to plenty of weddings with a Catholic gap. Sending everyone to a bar was the best option.
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  • Catherine
    Expert March 2023
    Catherine ·
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    Start your cocktail hour after the wedding. Make the cocktail hour maybe an hour and a half with appetizers and a DJ and the start your reception around 3/3:30. If you have the DJ for five hours and start their service at 2, that’s still a party until 7, which is fine. You could pay for an additional hour to make it until 8 if you wanted but it’s okay to have an early evening. It’s also okay to have an early dinner. Your wedding could be over earlier and you could have an after party at a bar or just spend some quality time with your new husband when you aren’t exhausted at 2am.
    As a guest I would really hate such a long gap between the ceremony and the reception. And it sounds like as the bride you hate it too. My wedding will be ending around 8 pm as well.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Agree with this 100% from a guest standpoint.

    If there was a gap longer than driving time, I would very likely skip the ceremony and many guests do the same no matter much they love you.

    A large number of my family is Catholic and they will do anything possible to avoid a gap. Getting a venue that allows an earlier reception start time for example.

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  • S
    StillLookingForThatMagicExtra ·
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    If there's going to be a part where people are milling around chatting then some simple classical/acoustic background music is good, especially for the older people who would probably struggle to chat over a DJ.

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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    We have a LOT of Catholic relatives in the Midwest and in the NY/NJ area, and the dreaded gap is pretty much a given at those weddings. My one big concern would be that people might not show up for the ceremony.... Personally, I think that is incredibly rude, but we've seen it over and over again. My H's family is in Chicago, and even those who bother to attend the Mass, half of them show up dressed like they took a break while mowing the lawn. They will show up appropriately dressed for the reception at 6 pm, but those are some pretty rough looking ceremony photos! I have extended family in NJ, and we've been to weddings where there are maybe 50 people who show up for the Mass in a huge cathedral, but there are 350 ready to party all night at the reception.... This is really a "know your crowd" issue; also, if you have a lot of guests who are not the same religion/denomination, they might be really confused about what's going on. Our closest family members are not Catholic, and within that group, there is never a gap, so they might be confused about a 1 pm ceremony and a reception that doesn't start for several hours. Good luck!

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  • Allie
    VIP November 2021
    Allie ·
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    I've been to a wedding where there was a big gap of time in between the wedding and reception, and I will say I hated it. Everyone hated it. Because everyone got done up for the ceremony earlier in the day and they didn't want to change to take a nap or go out sightseeing, so we all just ending up sitting around the hotel waiting for the reception to start and it was incredibly boring.

    I've also been to a reception that started at about 3 and honestly, it was one of the best weddings I've ever been to. They had it end at about 8:30 and then they allowed some friends to join them in their bridal suite (it was quite large) for pizza and drinks until about 10. We all just sat around talking about our favorite moments of the wedding and relaxed together and it was REALLY nice. And for those guests who don't like to stay out late, like grandparents or people with children if you're having children, they were able to enjoy the full ceremony and still get home at a reasonable time. You don't need to have a later wedding for it to be enjoyable! I would pretty much do anything to avoid having to go to a wedding with a gap again because the gap is really not enjoyable.

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  • Laura78
    Beginner September 2021
    Laura78 ·
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    Great suggestion! Thanks Allie. We do have two children so ending the night early would be easier on us and them.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    This sounds like a great solution! Yes it is possible to avoid gaps.
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