What to do in lieu of a bridal/wedding shower?

You or the mother of the groom could host a lunch, dinner at your or MOG's house or at a local restaurant (it's better since typically, showers are held in a home).

Did your daughter give her reasoning for not wanting a shower? (I know a lot of women these days don’t like them because they tend to be stuffy events with silly games where the bride has to awkwardly open gifts in front of others). Is she just not wanting a shower specifically? Or is she not wanting any sort of celebration at all? If she just doesn’t like the idea of a traditional shower, but is open to some sort of celebration, you could always host a non-giftgiving event like a bridal luncheon, or an I Do BBQ. I’ve been to a couple Stock the Bar parties as well, which have been fun! Typically they are laid back coed events with both the bride and groom and their family/friends, and guests bring a bottle of liquor in lieu of a traditional gift, to help the couple stock their home bar.
However, if she is just not wanting a celebration at all, I would just skip the shower and any form of alternative. There’s no rule that says you have to have pre-wedding events, and a lot of couples are skipping them these days.

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Thank you! Gives me something to think about.

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Thank you! Good suggestion.

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Thank you! Good suggestion.

Any of the above suggestions about a lunch/ dinner/ informal get-together would be great if you still wanted to have everyone together. I think the recipe book sounds nice too! You could even present that at the event in place of having any kind of gift-giving.

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Thank you!

I wouldn't ask guests to send you recipes unless you're hosting an actual recipe shower where guests bring a recipe as their "gift" and you provide them with socialization and refreshment. Otherwise you're giving them an unreciprocated chore. Also, some people don't have recipes to share. It's a know your crowd thing


Skipping a shower it totally fine. I didn't want a shower but I would have loved a bridal tea party/luncheon with little snacks. People can bring gifts if they want to.