What to do?

View Quoted Comment It’s kind of the same thing.
But you do you

View Quoted Comment If you don’t care about anyone else’s feelings why bother with inviting them to a fake ceremony?
If you want to get married now, do it. There’s nothing wrong with that. You aren’t required to inform your family.
But then having a fake ceremony and pretending you aren’t already married is wrong and hurtful. Just be honest with your friends and family and let them know that you guys didn’t want to wait any longer so you got married. Then the ceremony you are planning would be a vow renewal. All the same stuff, just honesty with your guests.

View Quoted Comment I think everyone is losing sight on what I am asking. Fake ceremony? If you read what I said .. the wedding is already paid for so NOTHING is fake everything is done everyone Rsvp. I am not obligated to tell anyone anything this is a last min decision that came over my spirit. I clearly was just asking about how to go about it as far as marriage license went. Nothing more or less. Again I am not obligated to tell anyone anything. 🤷🏾‍♀️ they are still coming to see us and enjoy their time.
Thanks anywas hun 😊

View Quoted Comment Nope, I knew exactly what you were asking. And yep it is fake because you will already be married. So that “wedding ceremony” you e planned won’t be real.
But hey, you do you.

View Quoted Comment In who's eyes lol... its fake bc I am not telling everyone this will kinda be a renew vowels type of celebration?
To be honest your opinion doesn't matter.

Have a good day

View Quoted Comment Eh, I don’t necessarily agree with OP not telling others that they’re already legally married, but calling the big ceremony “fake” isn’t really fair. A lot of people NEED to legally get married in a courthouse before their planned wedding due to various reasons (such as health insurance and benefits). My brother and his wife had to unexpectedly get married almost a year before their already mid-planned wedding (though they did announce it to family and social media right away) for insurance purposes and I don’t consider their large wedding ceremony and the vows made that day “fake”.

View Quoted Comment Thank you hun😊

View Quoted Comment

You're lying. There's even a term for this kind of lying - lying by omission. You are omitting key information in order to deceive your guests.

It's not an opinion, dear. Lying by omission is, by definition, lying. Have fun dealing with the fallout from lying to your friends and family.

Hey girl,

it seems you have made up your mind. However, here are my thoughts on this:

First: it's just two months away. You can do it. You mentioned living in sin and your spirituality. Even if it's super hard, you can stop having sex and wait for the wedding. I think it would make your wedding night even more special. And honestly, to me that sounds more like true repentance than running to the courthouse and getting married in secret. To me marriage means also about making the convenant between us public. A secret marriage makes no sense from me - especially from a biblical standpoint.

Second: I think if you get married in secret it would take a lot of your joy away on the day you celebrate with your friends and family. Can you imagine walking down the aisle pretending to get married but you actually already are? I can't imagine that. I think waiting these two months would be worth it to make it even more special?

Third: Don't you think your close family and friends would understand if you told them that you want to be married now and can't wait but you still really want to celebrate with you in April? I think this is better than lying. Because if they find out it will be super hard. You say, you are not getting married for them, so why not tell them?

Not what you've asked for but my two cents.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. I live with my FI, but we don't have sex, and we are likewise getting married on 4/10. We have been somewhat physical throughout our relationship and I felt bad for that, so we have been abstaining completely. Offer it up as a sacrifice. But count me as one of the people who doesn't think it's right to lie.

“Spiritual reasons” girl, it’s OK, just admit you want to have sex personally, your date is so close, I would just wait and get married once.

View Quoted Comment Lol that was
Carry on

View Quoted Comment I’m sorry if offended - I really was trying to joke. Honestly, you should do whatever makes you happy 😃

Hi Sierra. We actually just went through this. My fiancé is religious, I am not. He too was struggling with the spiritual aspect of not being married yet, but living like it. We decided to have a very small (only 2 friends present) religious ceremony at my fiancé's spiritual leader's home, so that we are now married in the eyes of God. Note, this did not include the legal (there's a whole visa process we're also dealing with). We didn't tell anyone, and we're still treating our upcoming wedding in April as our official wedding. Feel free to message me if you want to chat about it.

Don't post a question if you don't want people's viewpoints then. Everyone started off trying to be helpful, but your condescending and dismissive comments turned this thread into what it is. How "spiritual" of you. In your words, "carry on".

This is a very bad idea and can turn your anniversary into something negative to remember. Eventually your family and friends will find out about how you lied to them, because lies never stay secret for long. It is bound to come out do to slip ups and big mouths. this will result in a lot of hurt feelings and some relationship becoming broken to the point of unrepairable. Plus you don't want to start your marriage on lies especially if you are trying to be spiritual.


You should just wait the 2 months, it will fly by before you know it and you won't have to worry about the negative impact a secret elopement can have on wedding guests.
But if you are to do this I'd just be upfront and honest with everyone about how you are getting married 2 months before the actual wedding.

View Quoted Comment I am as spiritual as you it seems

View Quoted Comment Only difference is I don't claim I am in a public forum 🙂.

View Quoted Comment Are you sure about that lol 🤔