What to do

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I do not thi k his priorities are straight! I would make it clear the money you would be losing if you canceled your honeymoon. I would also make it known how much it means to you. She chose the date knowing where you would be. It seems like she has the issue. Good luck!!

Well, I have had some things similar happen along the way in my relationship...it seems like no matter our plans...they can get dropped in a hot minute...for his grown kids.

We had our engagement pictures planned and booked for 4 months. Suddenly, his oldest daughter announced a birthday party for her son on that day.
We share custody of an 8 year old who would be invited to that party. We didn't have the 8yo that weekend so we could get pictures...

Long story short...I put my foot down...I explained to his daughter, that although we would love to be there...we had previously set plans and I would see that her brother got to the party...she was fine with that.

It's not fair to cancel your plans and it's not fair that his daughter expects you to.
The showers are important, but not as important as your wedding and honeymoon...which were planned first.

I highly doubt, that she would cancel her honeymoon to attend something you were planning.
I'd definitely stick up for myself and tell him that your relationship with him is just as important as a parent child relationship....especially since she is grown and knows full well you will be on your honeymoon.

She can certainly delay that party to when you will be back in town. Her wedding isn't until Fall.

good luck!

Ps
Most parents do not attend stag parties...wparties...which are usually much closer to the actual wedding date.
She could hold off until September even.
So sorry!

View Quoted Comment I even mentioned that to him today as tears flowed down my cheeks. I
Nothing of this has been happy so thr hoody moon I thought was something special for us . The wedding is about everyone and the honeymoon is about us...I'm so hurt ....and even of we DOD have a small going away somewhere and not where we want . We would still have to come back shortly after . Drive back home pick up his son drive another 7 hours so that both could attend the stag and doe
He says stag and doe of his daughter only happens once
I said so does our honeymoon.
Anything g after that so a holiday
Nor will I have or want a honey moon in January when it is a slow period for us, hes not an outdoor person so we would stay on the hotel room all the time. I want to have something beauful to remember. I dont think this is asking Alot.

View Quoted Comment Her wedding is in October. She could have had her stag and doe in September. She new we were leaving. And most would be considerate and not book am event so close after someone's wedding especially if it involves people you know

View Quoted Comment I have mentioned to him how much this means to me . His response hes going to his daughters stag and doe and if I dont want to go hell just go by himself . But he will not miss his daughters specialmday

This is incredibly inconsiderate of his daughter! But I also wonder if that was intentional thinking 1) you guys wouldn’t come or 2) she assumed dad would cave and she’d purposely stick it to you. I would not cancel. You’ll be at the wedding, that’s plenty. I’m very sad your FH is not prioritizing your wedding/honeymoon together. 🥺

View Quoted Comment I'm trying to be sympathetic to his feelings and emotions. I no it's not easy for him to live 6 hours away from his kids .
As for enguagemt picture this was rshedualed three times because of his kids.we finally got pictures done but it was a very ciild day colors of autumn leaves were nice but man was it cold
I expressed to him kids may not always be happy with choses of marriage we make but it is the spouse with whom u chose to make the rest of you rife with.
If he doesnt go to the stag and doe he wont me happy if we do go to stag and doe and not the honeymoon he knows I aount be happy...

View Quoted Comment She sent him her stag and doe announcement adding ...I know you'll probably wont make it, but let me know what you want to do if plans change

She is also in auguat having a shower whom everyone is invited.

Yes intentional

Damn, that sucks! I’m sorry that’s happening.

I'm so sad for you I completely understand! The first year of our relationship was exactly this way.
I finally made him realize that as a parent, you are also entitled to have a life with joyful events that don't always include the children.

You may have to talk to her...since he doesn't get it. Seriously, can't he see that there are several other events related to her wedding that he will be a part of?
I feel exactly what you are feeling because I've been there and it's so unfair.
Id go on the honeymoon without him and have a good vacation. Let him think of what he's done to your relationship.
I don't know just try talking to her. Ask her how she would feel if she had to cancel her honeymoon.

Send her a note so you can get all of your feelings out. Maybe she will change the date. I hope so!
I really hope it works out. I'm so very sorry. Hugs to you .

View Quoted Comment He is not being sympathetic of your feelings. It is hard to live away from your family ,but for the most part we all do.
You are right the relationship he will have left, if you even stay...will be between the two of you.

The kids will be busy with their own lives...they won't drop everything for him. His daughter will be just as happy with a phone call. She doesn't really want her Daddy at a stag party....that is unheard of and silly to me.
Around here parents are not included on the Bride and Grooms "last night out " just the bridal party groomsmen and Bridesmaids.

I really hope she is not that selfish and mean as to do this on purpose.
Again, I'm so sad for you. I know it really hurts to the core.

View Quoted Comment Exactly! I would at least try to reason with her. It's going to be a rocky road between all of you going forward if she won't compromise.
Seems like she would want her Daddy to be happy too.

View Quoted Comment As long as she is happy that is all that matters . She will make everything about her. This is how she has been all her life ..

View Quoted Comment Yes she is mean and does things on purpose to make sure to Sabatog.life is about her . And she has him wrapped around her finger

I hate to say it, but someone's kids will always come first. Doesn't matter how old or how far the kids so always come first, if you're not okay with that maybe you should rethink your relationship. You can't ask a parent to feel differently about their kids.
Now it was rude of her to plan events during yours I say you're entitled to be upset and angry about that.
Also parents are NOT supposed to be at stag and doe parties, honestly it's gross your fiance wants to go to his daughters. It's supposed to be her female friend only and often has less than appropriate topics and decorations. I'd tell him yes it's her special day but the doe parties are female only and he should let her girlfriends handle it. Where I am from Dad's don't even go to the bridal shower either. It seems more like he wants to be involved than maybe he should be.

View Quoted Comment As long as she is happy that's all that matters for her

View Quoted Comment Well, she will definitely regret it someday. If she has any morals at all. I was hoping it was an oversight on her part.
Its unfortunate that adult children can manipulate their parents. I am also someone's child and so are you...but, they let us live our lives and we respect theirs.