What to say to a newly married couple?

I have never heard this before. We got many congratulations from our family and friends when we got married and we were not one bit offended by it. Quite the opposite!

I say congratulations. My guess, only a select few will be upset with that statement. I wouldn't worry about offending people.

Girl congratulations is totally fine! Congrats isn't just for accomplishments, it's for general happy events like getting engaged, married, announcing a pregnancy, having a baby, even winning the lottery! It's totally fine.

Never heard this before. Nor would I take it as an insult to be congratulated. I think the only not okay thing to do when people get married is ask when they are having babies 😊

I was told this as a little girl and they mention it in the movie In Her Shoes. Best wishes is for the bride and congratulations is for the groom. But I don’t think anyone cares anymore and I certainly don’t.

Ok great! This is so reassuring!

"I'm so excited for you" also works! 😉 Or "that's awesome!!" or "yay!" - any genuine expression of celebration and excitement is good!

Personally I like The Knot's take on this: Why You Should Say “Congratulations” When Someone Gets Engaged - Even though getting engaged isn’t technically an achievement.

Yes we congratulate others for their achievements, but we also say congratulations as "a way of recognizing and supporting someone’s happiness and good fortune"! I'm still down with saying "congrats" to share my excitement and support of love!

I’ve never heard this and didn’t care at all when someone congratulated us.

I’ve never heard of this before either. Not offensive at all in my opinion!

I've never heard of that before but honestly i don't see how congratulations is bad aha. i mean i take it as omg congratulations on a new journey in life, etc. but for newly married couples i love to say "best wishes for your happily ever after"

Congratulations to the groom; best wishes to the bride.

So...I always thought it was nice when someone would see my ring and say "are you engaged? Oh congratulations!" And then I KEPT being congratulated, and the more I thought into being "congratulated" about being engaged, the more I hated it and bothered me to the point that I would hide my hand sometimes so people wouldn't ask.
No one meant it in a bad way, no one meant it in a demeaning "getting a man to propose is an accomplishment" thing, but I just didn't think it was something to be "congratulated"
It took me some time, but now I can confidently say, I'm over myself lol! Clearly I was just over thinking it and it was my ego that kept needing to justify to my own self.

I have also never heard this before. We got nothing but Congratulations and I've always said Congratulations or Congrats. I guess you could say you wish them the best or best wishes.

Actually, while saying do not say congratulations to brides, the double standard was that it was fine, even expected to say it to the groom. For the man, the acknowledged leader who wooed his chosen mate, finally getting her was seen as an accomplishment . Hunter lures and captures quarry? A very sexist way of looking at things. ... And new mothers were to be given all sorts of happy wishes, but never congratulations, like she had anything to do with getting pregnant, or giving birth. No, the father did his manly duty and produced this heir! Congratulations to him! ...
If one buys into this double standard, then probably only the male should get congratulations on landing his bride, and making that baby will be his next accomplishment. But if you are not one for this blatantly unequal and some would say sexist way of looking at things ( as I consider it,) then it is perfectly fine to offer both congratulations any time they are called for. Marriage, births, anything that takes 2 partners. Both are properly offered credit for the great accomplishment.

That's a really weird thing to get offended over, IMO. To my mind, congratulations is simply for celebrating any positive event, including both achievements or other types of occurrences.

I've heard "best wishes" is for the bride and "congratulations" is for the groom, but that is very outdated etiquette.

I never once was offended when we were congratulated after our engagement!

Yea I've never heard it was bad to say congratulations after an engagement or marriage and have had plenty say it to me and have not been offended. I think of congrats as more of acknowledging that something good happened to someone, not necessarily that they accomplished anything, so I see no problem in saying congratulations to a couple that got engaged or married.

I've never heard of this.

In a weird way, I *do* think getting married is an accomplishment, but more as a personal growth kind of thing - it takes a lot of effort to grow and support a healthy relationship, and then to plan a wedding.

That said, "congratulations" to me implies an acknowledgement of happy events, milestones, and positive changes.

Same here.... always heard best wishes to the bride and congratulations to the groom. Weird, but true. I myself say congratulations! And same said to both of us