What tradition are you tossing out?

Walked myself down the aisle!

We're skipping the bouquet toss and the garter toss. For the bouquet toss, we're in our 30s now, and a lot of our friends are already married -- for the few single people, it might make them feel put on the spot, and we don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable. And the garter toss pretty much speaks for itself. It's cringy and embarrassing for everyone involved, so we're not even bothering. I don't think anyone will miss it.

No flower girl or ring bearer. Also we have a religious family so we are doing a formal reception but no dancing or drinking however we are having an evening soirée that will include those things.

I'm not yet sure of the details but culturally I'm making some changes to mine. I'm American of Vietnamese descent, but I'm skipping our traditional tea ceremony where the guy's side bring "dowry" and gifts to the bride's house. I'm probably not going to wear traditional garb when we do the individual table greetings. Traditionally already don't do registries (we do cash lol). Skipping a church ceremony, bad for Catholics but oh well. I'm going to change up the bouquet toss to be one of you don't need a man, just financial independence so I'm throwing something full of lottery tickets. Might still do the garter toss without the garter removal. No rice, no candles. We will be coming up with a different unity ceremony. Still want to have a father daughter dance. Not sure about who will give me away.

For those of you not wanting to do a father/daughter dance, why not? My father passed away and I would give anything to be able to dance with hime.

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I’m not doing one because my father is not invited. We have never had a relationship and he is abusive.

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I'm sorry, I can completely understand your reason for not having the dance nor inviting him. Thank you for your response and I hope your day is everything that you hope for!

Best wishes,

Madison!

View Quoted Comment So sorry for your loss Madison. I think that in most cases, those who choose not to involve a parent in some part of their wedding sadly have a good reason (abuse, drug addiction or alcoholism, etc.). I also grew up in an abusive home where my father was the abuser. I have really mixed feelings about my dad even being present at my wedding, but ultimately since my family did such a great job of appearing “normal” to everyone else over the years, it’s just easier to have him walk me down the aisle than try to explain everything if he didn’t. My fiancé and I still need to discuss how we’re going to handle the dances, but I’m hoping we can just skip the father/daughter and mother/son dances altogether. You were very lucky to have what sounds like a loving father in your life, even if he was gone too soon. Wishing you all the best 💕

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I'm sorry, I didn't even think of those types of things. Sadly it makes a lot of sense and I can't imagine growing up like that and then having to make the decisions you are now. Well, we are both blessed with future husbands that love us and will keep us safe! Congratulations!