What we want vs what the family wants.

Could you maybe have it both ways? Get married in the Catholic Church and have vows read by your priest but have his uncle(s) do the sermon/reading/blessing? I did something similar. I had my childhood pastor do the sermon/message and my grandpa (also a pastor) do the vows, unity candle, etc.

Stand your ground. If you are Catholic getting married in the church is SO important!
But, I do agree with PP, you may be able to compromise. I believe My priest asked if there was someone else we want to help participate in the ceremony. We did not, so I don’t really recall. But maybe the could do a reading or give a small homily or something. If you and FH want to that is.

Hold on and remain steadfast. This is how you envision being married, and he agreed. If the in-laws worry that the Catholic Church ostracizes them, that's not true. It allows inter-faith marriages and removes Eucharist (and 20 minutes) from the schedule so as to not offend non-participants. His family can still participate by reading 1 or 2 readings as readers do not have to be Catholic. If you will be praying before your meal, you can have one of the Uncles bless the food.

View Quoted Comment That’s exactly what I said, they can bless the food at the reception.

View Quoted Comment I have no issue with compromising with them, but they don’t want him to get married in a Catholic Church at all.

View Quoted Comment That’s the way it always been in my family, the Catholic mass is really important to me. My fiancé understands that and he wants to do it.

Religion can be a tricky thing but as long as the 2 of you are on the same page thats all that matters. Everyone has an opinion just try not to let it bother you. Good luck!

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They're going to have to fall in line because that's how it's going to be. Did they not get the memo that this was an interfaith relationship? Do give them a second to process because parents do feel strongly about church weddings. But, ultimately they don't dictate your lives together, only you two. It's okay to make this the hill you'll die on.

View Quoted Comment I agreed with you. I’ll give them some time to process it .

There are many posts of couples mentioning that they regret their planning because they are not getting what they want due to family pressure, whether parents foot the bill, contribute $1 or no financial contribution at all. It’s important to remember that in parents’ generations and prior, the couple’s wants were ignored because their parents paid for everything and it was largely a show for status, and that is what many try to do with their own children even today. It doesn’t work that way anymore, because parents and others have already gotten married and had the opportunity to approve or veto planning decisions and chose not to. Some couples feel bullied and come back a year or 5 later and say “we got married but we didn’t have a wedding” when the wedding did occur but they made the choice to hand over final decisions to someone else. You and fiancé are getting married this time so you decide together what you want and learn to set and maintain boundaries and keep doing that after the wedding to keep friends and relatives from walking over you and ignoring your wishes. If you don’t, you will have regrets.