What would you do in the situatuion

I personally would choose either option B or option C. A wedding for $20,000 is definitely doable (it also depends on your guest count and the area). If this is the only time you get away from the kids then definitely take advantage of the honeymoon because who knows when you'll be able to do it again!

Option C - the compromise. That’s the best of both worlds. My question is, when I was shopping around for honeymoon destinations, Hawaii was the most expensive. I was looking for all inclusive resorts. Have you looked into Sandals? You get a lot of bang for your buck!

I would go with option B! You have already planned a wedding you are happy with with your current budget, so why invest more money in it? I would use that money to give you and your fiancé a once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon!

I agree with the others against option A $20,000 is already a generous budget for a wedding. Unless there is some splurge you’ve been wanting but didn’t have the room in the budget.


I personally would want to save some of the “extra” money that is now available (especially if I had kids and you have 8 with one on the way you know accidents/emergencies come up!). $14,000 is a lot to spend on a trip and I’d have a hard time spending that much.
You have to figure out what’s best for your family and what will make you happiest 😊

What about an Option D where you go to Hawaii for a full week but opt for more budget-friendly accommodations, experiences, etc.? You could plan a more moderate budget for a full week in Hawaii and put any extra towards the wedding. I think you could easily plan a very nice week for two in hawaii with $10,000, and have a generous extra $4k for the wedding, for example. Hawaii takes such a long time to get to from most places in the US that four days doesn't seem worth it to me. But I'm a big traveler so that's always my priority!

B and C!!!!

Option D: save the money for a rainy day post-wedding toward a house payment or something you will get use from on a regular basis long after the festivities are over.

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Agreed, the money should be saved. With 8 kids there are bigger priorities than a party or a vacation.

I would use some of the money for a nice honeymoon, but save a lot of it. My husband and I spent about $5500 for 10 days in a 5-star, luxury adult's only, all-inclusive resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic including airfare and transportation. You can have a fabulous honeymoon without spending $14,000.

I’m not sure what state you live in, but you can definitely do a full week in Hawaii for under $14k.


A couple of years ago, my husband and I did two weeks (one in Maui and one in Oahu) for his 30th birthday. We stayed in 5-star hotels, went to nice dinners, tours, luaus, sky diving... and we still stayed under $15k.
I go there every year with my family and recently took my best friend to Waikiki for her birthday (we went last November). Our flights from Southern California were $300 per person (I have Southwest’s companion pass so she actually flew for free) end our stay at The Modern was less than $1200 for a week (I used Hotels Tonight which has daily deals and now allows you to book a couple of weeks in advance).
I would definitely look into travel credit cards to rack up points for flights and hotels. We have the Amex platinum and we were able to book all our honeymoon flights on it (Los Angles - Hong Kong - Bali - Singapore - Japan - Hawaii - Los Angeles) with points to spare. They had a sign up bonus a few months before our wedding, so we switched our gold card to the platinum. My husband charges a lot on the card for work, but we also paid any wedding expenses (that allowed us to use a credit card) on it. We actually had enough points that we could have paid for one RT ticket for a suite on Singapore Airlines from LAX to Singapore (which would have been a little over $10k).

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I agree with this as well. While everyone's financial situation is different, I would take a scaled-back honeymoon and would save the money for more important things if there are 8 kids in the picture

Twenty thousand is plenty for a wedding, you can have an amazing wedding almost anywhere for that. If I were you I'd keep the wedding at $20K, save most, and go to Hawaii for at least a week. Seriously, go to Hawaii it's lovely. You can have a beautiful honeymoon in Hawaii for under $5k if that's what you want. But you didn't ask us about saving and it's really none of our business to answer a question you didn't ask. You and your fiancé may have a million in savings, maxed-out 401k's, and already full College funds for each of those kids and we shouldn't assume. My point is: spend money how you feel you best should, but you have more than enough to have a great wedding and honeymoon with some left over if that's what you'd like.

Thank you all for your kind words, After discussing our options my fiancé and I chose to raise the wedding budget just a little bit take a wonderful honey moon to Hawaii and whatever we have left save it, Just because we have a little bit of extra in the budget doesn't mean we have to spend it, I just don't want to go over our budget and am afraid that is going to be easy to do. Thank you so much again

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I don't know what you should do, but this is what I would do. My husband and I have been through enough ups and downs of life to know that we will need an emergency fund or solid savings to call on at some point again in the future. I always sleep better with money in the bank. So for me, peace of mind is worth more than fancy weddings or vacations.

Option C. Slightly increase where you feel you want more and add some to the honeymoon, but keep the larger part of the money for unforseen circumstances in life. With 8nkids I'm sure this ga come up often.

Ditch the big wedding and put all the money into your kids' college funds. Then when they are all successful adults and earning great salaries, they can send you and your husband on a world cruise.