Whatever You Want

Yup, I keep getting this from my mom. I will tell her what I am thinking, she will respond with no or why or how about this. I'll explain to her why I want what I want (or don't) and she responds with "do what you want, its your wedding". The problem is, she will turn around and literally start crying to my MOH about it as soon as I turn my back. I didn't want a veil or a shower (I've had my house for 4 years and we have lived together for 3 years so we don't need stuff).... I guess for me, its more like if I ask for your opinion it's because I want your opinion, and if you feel that strongly about something (especially since mom and dad are paying for most of the wedding) then say so!!! UGH!

Ughh yess. My fh doesn't have input on much and yesterday we were filling out a questionnaire for our photographer. He kept saying it and I was getting so annoyed lol. I finally told him, I know you don't care, but the ones I'm asking you about, I don't care about either, so you need to choose.

It also drives me crazy when other people say well it is your wedding, but no, its OUR wedding and I need him sometimes lol.

GIRL!!!! YES!!!!!

FH and I went to look at suits on Saturday for the wedding. I just went along to see what he picked out, but FH is a very fashionable man, and he had a vision in his head for what he wanted to wear, which is fine by me! I want him to be comfortable in whatever he wears, and he’s the one that wears it, so he gets final say. The lady at the suit store kept asking me what I wanted and kept saying “Well it’s YOUR wedding.” She completely ignored FH whenever he was looking. I finally just told her she needed to talk to FH because I was just there to take pictures. She was so surprised, and told me so multiple times, that I would let the groom pick his own outfit 🙄🙄

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Ohmygosh.. that's ridiculous. That lady really needs to learn how to read the situation, lol! Obviously if your FH picked out something you absolutely didn't like, or didn't fit your overall look, you would speak out, but he should have the biggest say!!

This. It's often followed by me saying what I want and everyone disagreeing with it 🙄

I totally agree! I feel like I want to scream when I hear this.

Omg yes! I hate when FH says that or tells me to make decisions on my own, because it is his wedding too. If it was whatever I wanted, the guest list would be A LOT smaller. So frustrating when he says that. I know he just wants me to be happy, but I’m happiest when we work on this stuff together.

My hubby said this to me as well. But I got lonely planning by myself and expressed how I wanted us to create our wedding story together. Over a bottle of wine, we brainstormed ideas and from then on he was a 110% partner (so much we butted heads! Watch what you wish for! Tee hee.).

View Quoted Comment This was the absolute worst part of planning for me! The woman kept saying stuff like that, then told me everything I wanted was not appropriate for a wedding and looked like prom or that the father’s should not match the bridal party. I said I didn’t care so long as the grooms people wore gray and was just so annoyed that I refused to go back with him when he had to pick something up for a different wedding and get fitted.

This frustrates me too! FH says this all the time. Like, come on, it's your wedding also! The least they could do is give their honest opinion

I sadly am dealing with it both ways. He definitely has an opinion but he doesn't Express until he tells me "whatever you want" and then I show or tell him what I'm thinking. Then he has lots of opinions. So I've started just showing him options up front.

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EXACTLY. Don't tell me it's whatever I want and then criticize me for following your directions haha.

My fiance does the same thing and it can be annoying as hell because you are looking for an opinion and it leaves the weight of the choices all to you.

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GIRL! It was so much more than that.

My dad came with us, to get sized. My dad is a bigger guy. SHE MADE HIM CRY! Oh I went into Bridezilla mode. She kept making my dad feel like he was super obese and telling him she didn't know where he would find a suit, and maybe he should just wear a sweater to my wedding. I WENT OFF! I told her "Leave. I will handle this. Take your hands off my father, and get the BLEEP out of here. I want the manager." THE MANAGER, thank god! was so much nicer. They ordered my dad a CUSTOM suit that'll fit, and gave us 25% off. I literally thought I was going to throw hands with this woman.

The whole time she just kept telling the manager "Well, its her wedding. I just don't want them to ruin it!" She obviously doesn't need to be working in the wedding industry.

But my dad's custom burgundy suit will be like $125, the boys suits will be $112 and I was guaranteed that woman would be taken off our account and she would not work with anyone in our wedding party.

View Quoted Comment That's not even bridezilla. That's you trying to protect and respect your father. How does she even have a job after saying those things!!!
The level of rudeness.. I'm sorry , but she shouldn't have JUST been taken off your account... she should be fired!!
She disrespected your groom by belittling his taste and the fact that he is his own person and is old enough to pick his own clothes. She also disrespected your dad !!
Wow...no.. no. No.. no... I can't.
Glad they gave you a discount. But that lady needs to go work somewhere else.

Omg I heard that every time I asked my FH about anything. After several times I broke down and told him it felt like he didn’t care about it and wanted me to do it all. He responded by saying he just wanted me to have exactly what I wanted on that day. While that was thoughtful it still was stressful because I often really did want his opinion. But there were times that he would want something different after I asked and he said nothing....so I’m not sure what to tell you.

The phrase i have learned to hate is "You have to do this or that"

This is the worst!!! I’m going to do what I want anyway but if I’m asking I want your opinion. FH definitely overuses this but I know it’s just because he can’t really get involved. He says it when I ask him about decorations and colors, my poor colorblind baby!!

Lol I learned how to deal with this quickly thank goodness.... I ask more specifically and give him no more than 3 options. He has been doing well since I started that hahaha