What's your reason why?

Taxes... *shrug*

Sentimental reason: because I’m already committing to spending my life with him, and I think it’s nice to make that promise legal.


Logistical reason: taxes, insurance, God forbid if one of us is in the hospital it will make power of attorney easier, etc

I have cancer and without him being my legal spouse he has no right to visit me in the hospital and make sure my wishes are followed if the worst comes to worst. My parent's aren't big fans of his in general and I just know it would come down to a huge blow out and I ain't got time for that!

Exactly what Gen said.

It sounds like you and your partner have some unpacking to do. I would figure out what's holding you back exactly, what your worries are, etc.

Because I want his last name not a man Who cheated on me and who I’ve not been married to for years.

Health and dental insurance.
Asset protection.
It's an agreement that we are going to work together. To pay off our debts and go on adventures.An "I love you, I love this life we are building, here's a formal commitment to continue this relationship that mutually benefits both of us."

Like the previous post wrote about power of attorney. Also in some states common law marriage isn't recognize. So if he wants to kick you out of the house and bring in the other woman, sadly he can. I hear about this all the time. I'm not saying it can't happen when you're married, but you do have more protection legally, Something to think about.

I like his face.

Ok, seriously? Because I've known since 6 weeks in that this was the One. Because I patiently waited for him to grow up enough (he's younger than me) to feel ready to marry. Because we want a family, because taxes, because health insurance, because of hospital visitation rights, because neither of us was going anywhere and it's nice to say that in front of your friends.

And a teeny, tiny part of me also just wanted to have a big party about it.

I'm super traditional and I've always wanted to be married before having children since my parents weren't. I also love the idea of being that committed to someone. We've been living together for 2 year officially and about 3 year unofficially so it's not like anything would change in that sense. But I do think you should talk to your partner

Stability and security. If you are married, you can't just get up and walk away. It is a legal contract. It protects both parties when combining fiances. It protects children. It is saying that our goal are now one. There is no more "Me" and "I." It is now "We" and "Us." What is mine is yours and what is yours is mine. I want that level of commitment.

View Quoted Comment This made me laugh because I can envision myself saying it just this way.

View Quoted Comment I cannot imagine what you must be going through. Best of luck to you in everything!

View Quoted Comment What would you suggest we talk about? We have discussed many times that getting married to be married is silly and being comfortable where we are doesn't suggest we have an issue in our relationship. I'm definitely not traditional so not being married does not phase me.

View Quoted Comment Do you not like your last name?

View Quoted Comment No worries from me- but what's wrong with just being happy with the way things are? A lot of people get married for the wrong reasons and a lot of people get married for legal reasons. Those things don't pertain to me. Since he and I have already had that discussion I was curious what other reasons people had.

View Quoted Comment I like that you have both sides to this

View Quoted Comment That would be a difficult position to be in.

View Quoted Comment Love this response

I’m not traditional either but there’s a different commitment around marriage. I wanted that from both of us. I can happily say marriage does make a difference, I didn’t think it would but we work even better as a team and feel even more romanticly connected. It’s quite cool.


I could imagine how unsettling it might feel if one person wants to be married but the other doesn’t. Although neither one of us rushed into it, I’m not sure I would have stayed if he told me marriage was never an option for him.

View Quoted Comment This was a great way to voice your perspective.