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Michelle
Super October 2020

When did long and expensive bachelor/bachelorette parties become a thing?

Michelle, on February 3, 2020 at 10:00 AM Posted in Parties and Events 0 27

I've always thought those parties were more of a one night thing maybe even two...not several days to a week long vacation where it costs several hundred dollars. I get you have the right to that kind of thing but I'm a bit annoyed I guess because a friend of mine has hers in Puerto Rico and it's at least $1,000 (most of us aren't going) and her fiance (my fiance is his groomsman) wants a 5 day cruise in the Caribbean. Fiance doesn't want to go because it's so much money and we have our own wedding expenses but will go because the whole grooms party is going and it's his close friend. I'm noticing it to be a thing. Last year our friends wanted to go to Vegas for the weekend, another wanted Miami, someone else suggested Hawaii.

Fiance and I are both doing something out of town but more of a one night thing within driving distance out of town. Reasonable where all friends can afford to go and still have fun.

Also, what are your plans for your party?

27 Comments

Latest activity by Tanyia, on February 6, 2020 at 9:41 PM
  • R
    Devoted December 2020
    Rachel ·
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    Mine will be in New Orleans for a weekend. I wouldn’t have minded doing a 1 night thing just a couple hours away (Nashville is only a couple hours from me) but all of my friends are so spread out across the country there was no where to have it that would’ve been close for majority. I think it just depends on everyone’s Individual situation. When I reached out to my friends about it I made sure to tell them not to feel obligated to travel for it since they’re all going to have to travel for our wedding as well.
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  • Blair
    Super June 2021
    Blair ·
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    My cousin did the same thing with a trip to Mexico. Some people can afford it I guess. We're doing New Orleans for a two night stay. It's only a two hour drive from where we all live. The total for each person is $76 if all 8 of bridesmaids decide to go.

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  • Erin
    Devoted September 2021
    Erin ·
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    Thats crazy!! Im having mine about an hour from where I live, in a cute town with lots of wineries and distilleries. My cousin owns a large house on the lake there that he rents out so he’s letting me use that for 2 nights. My fiancé isn’t planning on going anywhere crazy either, probably in the city we live or one of the cities a couple hours away for a night or two.
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  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    Same! We're driving about 2 hours north near Lake Erie and there is a winery resort along with other attractions. Fiance plans on a fishing trip or some camping trip up north too around that area. I guess I should be glad it doesn't involve lap dances or strip clubs to this cruise haha.

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  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    That makes sense when you're all spread out! 95% of people we know are in our city lol.

    I'm just wondering when did parties become "lavish"? Again, I agree it depends on your situation but dang, there's so many we've been invited to that are big trips.

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  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
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    I think when people plan to travel they understand not everyone will be able to make it. Mines in Vegas and I invited 14 and have 6 coming. I'm not upset at the ones who couldn't come as I know it's a lot to ask.


    Editing to add: i think things became lavish to make them super special. I live 1 hour away from a large city with great nightlife but we didn't choose that for my bachelorette because we could go there anytime and we are there a lot.

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  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    Vegas isn't too bad since it's more of a weekend thing, there's a lot of deals for flights that go out there too. It's pretty much the traditional type of party so it is expected. But several days and out of the country is a lot lol

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  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
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    Agreed. For me it's more so the vacation time off work that prevents me from going to some bachelorette parties (as opposed to the cost).

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    That’s insane. I saw this girl I went to school with had a weeklong bachelorette party at a resort in Punta Cana, with about 10 other people in attendance! I’m like jeez. This bachelorette party probably cost more than my entire wedding, no joke 😂



    I had a really low key night out with 3 friends for mine. It was immediately after my bridal shower so we were all kinda tired lol. It was nice and casual, not too big a deal to me.

    My husband’s was a little bigger only because 3 of his 4 groomsmen had to fly in for it (but only because they live far away to begin with). They flew in Friday night, spent the day and night Saturday in NYC (we live an hour outside NYC) and left Sunday after brunch.
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  • S
    Dedicated July 2020
    Shannon ·
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    I'm doing a small weekend getaway about an hour from my house. We're renting an Airbnb and doing a winery tour. I'm in my 30s now and can't do the all night drinking/partying anymore lol. I wanted something fun yet low key. And I also didn't want to make people pay a lot for a destination bachelorette party.
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  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    Same here! I think that's what happens when you hit 30 LOL, I'm turning 31 and we're going to a winery as well. Clubbing days were done a few years back. Ugh.

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  • Jodie
    Dedicated April 2021
    Jodie ·
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    Omg that is insane. A cruise??? Seriously?? Thats a honeymoon not a bachelor party. I know I have the unpopular opinion here but I think these parties have gotten wayyyy outta control. Something does not have to be lavish and over the top to be special. I can see a weekend away in a place that’s local and cheap for everyone but if it’s starting to involve flights that’s just way too much to ask of people. As far as when it got that way - sometime in the last decade. I’m 35 and when I was in my 20s and everyone was getting married this was unheard of. Bachelorette parties were a one night thing. (Or maybe in our area of the country we were just super cheap haha - I’m assuming you’re from the Pittsburgh area too based on the Lake Erie comment)
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  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    Which is why I'm asking, when did it become a thing to have long and expensive trips? It's seriously mind boggling lol. I also hate that I probably won't be able to get a hold of fiance for several days if I need to...because during cruises you get no cell service at all.

    I'm from Ohio!

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  • Jmz
    Expert July 2022
    Jmz ·
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    Right?? I've noticed that... If I had the ability I'd just do a creative thing close by, but sadly my bridesmaids are spread over different continents and one with small children so I don't see us having one at all. 😢 I'm hoping maybe I could at least treat them to getting their nails done or something a day or two before the wedding when they all get "in town".
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  • Melanie
    Savvy March 2020
    Melanie ·
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    Mine will just be at one of my bridesmaid's houses and it will just be a girl's night. Nothing too crazy or fancy. I didn't want to travel anywhere since I feel like that's too much and not necessary, not to mention expensive. Plus a couple of my girl's have kids so I knew they wouldn't be able to go out of town or anything. I've never enjoyed clubbing or anything like that either. We're just going to do dinner, drink, play games, have a lingerie party and sleepover! I'm excited to just have a fun, relaxing evening with my closest friends.

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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    For mine we are having a little wine tasting at the apartment and everyone is bringing a dish, then we are going out to a few bars and a hookah bar. Fiance is going to several bars with his friend then having a bonfire. It's only for a Saturday night.
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  • Kayla
    Devoted November 2020
    Kayla ·
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    We'll be doing a more lavish party than I originally thought I would ever do. We're spending four days down at the Lake of the Ozarks. It's within driving distance for 5/6 of us going and we're hoping to just take one car to help save on some gas money. The other girl lives halfway across the country, so she would have had to fly where ever we went. The lodging for us will also be free since my grandparents are letting me use their timeshare. I'm so excited my MOH was able to find a cool trip that fit into everyone's budget, but I definitely wouldn't have expected any of the girls to be able to afford a long trip out of the country.

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  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    That's the way to do it. Fitting into everyone's budget and discussing it making sure everyone's really comfortable....well the "VIPs" of the party I mean. =\

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  • E
    Dedicated October 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    I'm not into big events or trips because not everyone has the flexibility or funds to participate in things like that. Personally, I'm having what I jokingly call my introvert bachelorette party. I just want some girls to hang out at my house, watch movies, play board games, and eat pizza- maybe wearing comfy pjs. I don't need a fancy or expensive party to have fun with my friends.
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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    My fiance and his friends are going to ComicCon and a wrestling show in a nearby-ish city. 2 nights.


    My bachlorette party. Is a surprise. But one evening in the town we live. I did invite 20 people. But expect most of them not to come. Its more of a fantasy bachlorette party team. I have several friends spread out from Oregon to South Carolina, and Texas to Iowa. I assume we'll just go out to dinner and go play laser tag or bowling. And have a few drinks, but not a ton since 2 of my bridesmaids are pregnant.
    I'm going on a 5 day Carribean cruise as part of my honeymoon... too much for me for a bachelor/bachlorette party.
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