When did weddings become such a production?

I'd say weddings have always been "over the top" for the last 30 years or so. I don't think it's a new thing, plus over the top for one person is not that big of a deal for another. Personal preference on what and how you spend your money or celebrate your wedding

Well, like you said, you already had your "princess wedding" and I'm sure I can speak for most brides on here in saying that if it came down to it we'd all marry our FS's in at the JP's (but you do need a witness). To each his (or her) own... Some can afford more than others and they chose to spend more than others...And if you don't want negative feedback why post this?

I'm with you. It is my second marriage, but I didn't get the princess day the first time around. It was still great though. I rather spend half, have my closest friends and know everyone's names than have this HUGE event and recieve a million gifts.

At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is the marriage. I rather save for retirment, put money into our house and not cry because we can't afford to go to dinner so we can spend thousands on a single day.

But to each their own... What scares me is when the entire relationship becomes consumed by the wedding! You get married, then look at each other and have nothing to talk about because you've been talking centerpieces and linens for the last year...

@Meghan- Your last two sentences are partly why we decided to plan ours in such a short time frame... 2 1/2 months. Its worked for us cuz yeah we are semi consumed by the wedding but we wont have to have it consume us for a whole year. We look forward to all this weding crap to be over so we can focus on making our lives together.

Marisa,

Yes I agree with you and Meghan; thats my main focus, bringing it back to the fact that its about our future together. I'm having a modest budget, probably below the average..but I can understand the focus on THE day; like i've been spending lots of time looking at colors, decorations, etc, and on WW maybe a bit more than I should..For me at least its like I'm soo excited about spending the rest of our lives together that that excitement and enthusiasm manifests as time planning for the day and stuff. I think as long as its not a competition between brides or worrying what others will think, and not spending all waking hours on it, and all savings, its healthy. I'm lucky my FH is very no frills when it comes to that stuff so he helps me keep things in perspective. it's cute, he was like "Oh, I didn't even know you're supposed to pick colors!" lol he's never been to a wedding!

I think people just like a good celebration, especially in the joining of two new families together, at least in my family! My whole extended family very very rarely gets together for anything since they're on opposite sides of the country, and they all came down for my wedding which was awesome. I figured if my guests were taking the time and money to get all the way here to see me get married I could throw a decent party to celebrate with them. Well, plus I love cake, good food and dancing. We cut tons of corners though and used a lot things from Hobby Lobby, so its not like we had a platinum wedding. I do think though that some weddings can be a bit over the top, you know the ones with the $10,000 custom linens and $5,000 custom curtains and the like. To each their own though I suppose.

I think weddings have always been big events.... But you will find that most brides here actually have a below "average" budget so it's not quite the huge production. As for why.....you said you had your "princess" wedding already- a lot of us haven't, so you can understand why we'd want that.

A lot of the girls on here ALSO puts lots of stock in the marriage. Stick around, lots of girls post about their relaitonships and what is going on-it isnt just about the wedding for most of these brides. They care a lot about getting married. This is just one place where we can talk a lot and easily about the wedding. One place where you can vent your frustrations or try to figure out details without driving the rest of those around you crazy.

@jlam: I do understand why someone would want their "princess" wedding. That's why I mentioned that I'm probably jaded. I'm not trying to offend anyone. Everyone should have their dream wedding. I personally prefer the less stressful approach of a smaller, less complicated affair. I am not judging anyone's preferences. Every bride deserves to be happy.

I should probably clarify that I am dissatisfied with the wedding industry as a whole, not a bride's personal preferences. I know for a fact that vendors mark up prices by at least 50% as soon as you mention the word "wedding". There are countless reality shows about weddings, and there is an unspoken pressure put on women to have a lavish affair. In a slow economy, the wedding industry is one of the few that is becoming more successful. It's the "If you build it, they will come" mentality put out there by those in the wedding industry that have many brides in tears because they can't afford/can't get/can't be what is considered acceptable these days...

I can certainly agree with that.

Your comments remind me of this video:

It starts early though.. My 6 year old daughter is already asking to get her 'princess dress' for the wedding. It's scary that she thinks the wedding is all about the party. I want to celebrate our union, and have a great night with my friends- but too many people focus on the event and spend a ton of money on an event and then they are left practically penniless.

There are plenty of couples who get it, and plenty of women who get married not because they truly love their FH, but because they love the idea of being a bride. There has to be a balance. I think this site skews our views, because it is the place we are supposed to talk about weddings, so we do! Alot! We talk details, get ideas and share our thoughts. But we also come for relationship advice, ways to save money and support for alot of the other things we are going through. There is nothing wrong with a huge event, as long as you can afford it and realize it's just a day.

@jlam: LOL! That's exactly what I'm talking about.

You said it... "this is marriage number two for me and I'm a little older than the average bride, I already have children and I've already been there, done that with the "princess" wedding."...

this is my first wedding...and so (whether it's influence of society or not)... I want a bit of frills in my wedding... commensurate with my income...

@lovely: I haven't judged anyone specific on here and I have further explained my stance on the subject in this thread. I am no better or worse than anyone on here.

And I'm not calling anyone out and saying they are over the top. The wedding industry as a whole is over the top.

IMO, the funeral industry is just as bad, if not worse. But that's a little off topic...

I think if this was my second wedding and I already had a decent wedding, I'd probably think the same way.

@lovely: No worries. A little debating never hurt anyone...

*applause*

This will be my first wedding (although I am older than many brides here, and have to pay for this thing w/o help from mommy and daddy) but I have to agree with you. The industry (travel included) has programmed society to believe we must have a grand wedding day.

True, since you already had your dream wedding, it probably isn't fair to complain about them now, but I co-sign with you because we all know someone is going into the poor house on the count of being a princess for a day...

BTW I just received a copy of a book that is supposed to show you how to have a "36K wedding for 6K". I can't wait to read that mofo. lol