When should my hair and makeup be done if no first look?

If you've done a trial, use that to estimate the total time needed for HMU or ask your artist for an estimate. Personally, I'd add an hour to whatever your best guesstimate is (especially if HMUA will have other clients scheduled before you that day); you can always enjoy a little time to relax and breathe. Then I'd add generous travel time to the venue, if you're not doing HMU there. I'd PLAN to be completely ready at the venue between 3:30-3:45 (I know that seems early, but give yourself the luxury of not rushing, and that will help ensure you're out of sight before earlybird guests start arriving). I've been involved in a wedding where the bride was over 90 minutes late coming from HMU...it's NOT a great way to be ready for the day.... (Not daughter's wedding. )

We didn't do a first look. I did some getting ready pictures & a first look with my dad & some bridal portraits. I was ready at 4 PM for our 5 PM ceremony. We got ready at the venue.

I think 4pm is very reasonable! Definitely leave yourself that 30 minute window. My wedding was at noon and I planned to be ready by 11:45 and things ended up taking a little longer than I thought... it all worked out fine but was sooo stressful towards the end.

I think you've got it down pact. That's what I would do if I were you. I am getting married at 4pm (so exciting) but I am doing photos beforehand... I however am leaving about 30 minutes of time to freshen up before the ceremony though, so I think you're on track