When to ask bridesmaids & groomsmen & cute ways how?

Don't ask until about a year out. Things change, people have life changes and friendships change. You'll avoid awkward planning later down the road if you wait. Please search the forums for "firing bridesmaid" or "moh drama" or "bridesmaids drama" and you'll see its definitely better to wait.

Also, when you ask, its best to do it casually so no one feels obligated to say yes. I'd have a conversation with them first to see how they feel about it and then give them a gift if you feel inclined to.

Congrats on your engagement and happy planning!

Definitely wait for now, until under a year out. Relationships change, especially in two years! We see LOTS of ladies with BM issues due to relationships changing and falling outs and all that because they asked their bridal party way too early!

Most people on here will also advise against the cutesy pinterest BM proposals. Save the money on their gifts instead and just ask them in person. It doesn't put them on the spot or make them feel obligated to say yes because you dressed it up with a gift.

Good luck, and congratulations!

My wedding is this coming October and I asked via cute boxes in January. It had candy a card, a pair of and cute socks. You def dont want it to be too early since sometimes you cant predict what people will have going on that becomes more important and the fact that relationships change unexpectedly all the time.

I asked my bridesmaids by buying a little thing of hair ties that said "I can't tie the knot without you, will you be my bridesmaid?" And I mailed it in a card that expressed how much their friendship has meant to me. So it made it special, but I also didn't break the bank! The hair ties were about $3 a piece.

Wait until about eight months prior to the wedding. Rather than trying to come up with something creative, think of heart felt ways. Honestly, the simpler the better. Ask each individually and privately, lunch out or every a phone call/facetime are lovely ways to have a special moment with your dear friends and/or family. Add a card if you feel something tangible is necessary.

I already knew my girls were going to say yes (we had talked about it leading up to our engagement) so I did cute wine glasses and a mini bottle of wine. My FH couldnt think of anything he wanted to do so he just asked in person.

Thank you! Yeah I def dont want to do it too early. Youre right things to change. But I should start reading the bridesmaid and MOH drama forums.

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Oh my goodness this is cute and I love wine/wine glasses lol. My FH's best friend asked him to be his Best man with a nice Cigar. That was pretty cool but he doesn't smoke

View Quoted Comment Thanks! I think they were only like $7 a piece on etsy. Something like that anyway. For a little more you can do etched ones that are dishwasher safe (very nice bonus in my opinion). But I liked the color and wanted it to be cheap-ish since I will be doing a more formal gift at the rehursal dinner. My girls all like wine so it worked!

I been thinking the same thing, our wedding is close and its small and private, but i want the way we ask to be special

*** totally loved the hair tie idea that was really cute

I waited until a year out. I asked 4 cousins and 1 best friend. I took them out to eat and made a box with goodies in it such as planner, cute pens, nail polish, a bottle of wine and a cute checklist card asking will they dance the night away with me, stand by my side, wipe tears if I cry, etc.

I'll also be getting married in 2020 and won't be asking until September/October of next year. I don't think I'll do anything too terribly "cute" persay, as I don't want my ladies to feel obligated to say yes. However, I plan on asking my sister to be my Maid of Honor, and I know she'll like something that's more sentimental/proposal-y. I'll probably end up making a box of things she likes (poetry book, a nice card, etc.) and a cute bracelet that I found on Etsy that says "My maid of honor today, my sister for life." Best part about the bracelet is that the writing is on the inside, so it doesn't scream wedding and she will be able to wear it even after the vows.

I have only asked my MOH (well, not formally but have told her I'll do a formal proposal) but my other 4 girls will be asked towards the end of this year (probably around December)! On my 21st birthday I drunkenly told one of my friends that she will be in the wedding party, but I don't know if she remembers that haha. Luckily I was planning on asking her anyway!!

I wrote them each a personalized note basically going over "why" I'm asking them. (For example, one of my friends notes pays tribute to meeting in kindergarten, participating in extracurricular activities after school, and traveling to Canada together). I also got them a metal knot bracelet that they will wear at the wedding.

Their thank you gifts will be stemless wine glasses with their names on it so that the morning of the wedding we can each enjoy a small glass of wine to help get the jitters out!!

I asked 6 months out! And I actually bought my BM’s their dress and gifted it to them when I asked. It’s not traditional at all but i wanted to take the financial burden off plus I got an amazing deal on all 4 dresses. They were super appreciative and genuinely loved what I picked out.

View Quoted Comment Lol I did something similar (asked a bridesmaid while I was drunk) and then again with my bridesman while I was drugged up post surgery. I'm glad I'm not alone!

One of my closest friends is getting married then too! She has unofficially stated who she's asking, but I think she's officially doing it at her engagement party this September. I would, however, recommend waiting until like 6-8 months before the wedding to do it-- just cause its 2 years away and relationships change SOOO much.

My wedding date is 8/8/2020 and I have already asked my MOH and am planning on asking the rest of my bridesmaids by the end of this month! I didn't have any issues with waiting to ask because my MOH and I have been friends for 10 years, one of my bridesmaids is my FSIL, one is my best friend from elementary school, and the last one is my half-sister. My FH also is going to ask his soon because they are his friends of many years, like mine, and his BIL. I know it may seem early, but I know it was right to do it.

I don't have a picture of my bridal party's invites, but I have one that I made for myself. I wrote their name and position in the bridal party on stemless champagne flutes. In the bag, I put a mini bottle of champagne and a note that said, "It's my turn to POP the question: will you be my....?". My MOH absolutely loved it!

I went against common advice and asked my bridesmaids a little over a year out. We all live in different states and the only time I knew we'd get together before the bridal shower was at my engagement party, so I wanted to ask before then. Plus I've known each of them for 11-22 years so there would have to be something really serious to cause a falling-out.

A week before the party I sent each girl a monogrammed box that I filled with old pictures of us, a letter, and a pair of earrings to wear for the wedding. All the girls are reusing the box in some way (either as a jewelry box or as a keepsake box for photos) so it worked out well!

We are waiting until around 1 year out. I will probably slightly break that rule and ask all of my girls this December since I'm too anxious and know who I want to ask!

My MOH already knows (she's been my best friend for 16 years) and I drunkenly told one of my other friends "shhhh you'll be in the wedding party" haha. Good thing I planned on asking her anyway!!

I'll try to find the insert I got from a wedding expo but I visited this booth that made cute boxes for bridesmaids and groomsmen and they weren't all that expensive in my opinion! We planned on getting a few things from the company even if it's just for ourselves! haha.

ETA: I am giving them a stemless wine glass with their name on it (all of them are in black except my MOH who's name is in red) and then a knot bracelet that they can wear to the wedding and then I wrote each of them a personal note!