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Moria
Beginner September 2021

When you make more coins than your Fiancé

Moria, on December 31, 2020 at 2:17 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 14
I am currently a Travel Nurse and I make very good money. My Future Husband has a BASIC JOB and doesn’t make as much as I do. That doesn’t bother me but it bothers him because I make about 3k plus more than him monthly. Do any of you ladies make more than your FUTURE HUSBAND and is it a problem and how are you or do you plan on going about paying for your wedding? Has it caused you any hurdles along the way. I AM LOOKING FOR HONEST WOMEN.

14 Comments

Latest activity by Pirate & 60s Bride, on January 1, 2021 at 1:26 AM
  • Dallas
    Devoted November 2020
    Dallas ·
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    So, I by no means make more than my DH. He makes more than me, however we have separate bank accounts, and we paid for our entire wedding. With that being said, I paid for 98% of our wedding. Not because he wouldn’t/didn’t want to, but because I knew what we needed/wanted so I just went ahead and paid for it all. I believe he paid the photographer. Everything else I just paid for. It hasn’t caused any problems for us, because it was what we both wanted and we had zero issues. It made it easier because since I paid for it, he didn’t need to know how much I splurged 😉
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  • Moria
    Beginner September 2021
    Moria ·
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    Thank you, I was thinking the same thing. It would just allow me to have the wedding I want although we are doing it small. I was thinking it would be nice for him to take care of our DJ and liquor for our bar. Reason for having a small intimate wedding was for BOMB FOOD AND GOOD BAR. Thank you for responding you have helped me more than you know 😉
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
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    Before I went back to school for my doctorate, I was making about $10k more a year than my husband. Now that I'm in school full time, he makes more than me. When I graduate, i will make about double what he makes. My husband completely supports me in my endeavors, so much so that he is ok with picking up the slack while I work for a career goal that not only is my dream, but will help us afford a better life after I finish. We lived together for several years prior to getting engaged, and at that time, we had separate bank accounts but also 1 shared account for shared expenses we would contribute to equally (rent, groceries, etc.). Wedding expenses came from that money as well. After we got married, we combined all of our finances because that's what works for us. We view any money coming in as money for the family. It doesn't matter who is making more of it as it all goes into the same pot and helps us live our lives the way we want to based on our means.


    Finances are the biggest thing that couples fight about. If it's an issue now, it won't magically resolve itself after marriage. I would recommend trying to talk to each other about how this uneven pay makes him feel, and maybe seeking out a couple's therapist to help facilitate that conversation. Also, is it that your fiance dislikes you making more or is that he feels inferior compared to you? Do you possibly look down on him for his profession? Or maybe he thinks you do? That may be at least partially be why there may be some tension surrounding the issue?
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  • Moria
    Beginner September 2021
    Moria ·
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    Those are really good questions. I have stated the same as you have to him. I don’t care that I make more. We don’t live together because I am always all over the place in different states and mainly west coast. But I have always said WHATEVER I HAVE HE HAS. As long as he is a man that HUSTLES I LOVE THAT IN A MAN. What woman wouldn’t. I have never looked down on the type of job he does because it is a good job. I believe it just makes him feel a certain type of way. I believe in my culture MEN are very BIG ON BEING PROVIDER feeing that he is taking care of the woman. Maybe it’s because I have NEVER shown the need of needing him in that type of way. Maybe it was me saying years ago that I AM VERY CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF MYSELF. Now I believe that has come to be a problem. So, yeah it very well may be something I have done. I just have to figure it out an fix it because to me once we are married IT’S OUR MONEY.
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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    I make more than my husband, at least 20,000 more a year but that doesn't bother neither of us. I think at first it maybe bothered him but I have both a bachelors and masters degree, so it isn't a surprise. He's perfectly fine with it now though what's mine is his & vice versa.
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  • Moria
    Beginner September 2021
    Moria ·
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    I think it is just something that TIME has to happen. Thank you
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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Yup that's how it happened with my husband. Now it doesn't even bother him at all.
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  • Sharonda
    Super January 2021
    Sharonda ·
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    I make more than my fiancé, and it’s never bothered him. While I don’t need him to provide financially, I do make a conscious effort to show and tell him I need him in other ways. I’m so grateful that he provides his love, listening ear, a safe space and no-judgment zone, etc. I’ve learned that providing isn’t always about money. It’s also about the intangible things that not everyone can provide. I think once your fiancé gets to that space, how much money you make won’t be a point of contention because he’ll see the value of (and your appreciation for) what he brings to the table.


    As for the our wedding, I’m paying for most of it (it’s small), but he’s covering the welcome night meet and greet and the alcohol. While I’ve planned everything and told him how much his parts are since it is a part of our contract with the resort, he’s just given me money here and there throughout the process to go towards the wedding as a whole.
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  • Moria
    Beginner September 2021
    Moria ·
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    I LOVE WHAT YOU SAID. That was my mind set but I think I have wrong people in my ear.
    Thank you Thank you Thank you
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  • A
    Super October 2021
    Ashley ·
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    I make more money than my fiancé. He used to make more than I did, but it has never bothered him that I make more. He’s proud of me for doing well!
    Unfortunately, it can be hard to get away from toxic ways of thinking. It doesn’t actually matter who makes more, and it shouldn’t affect anyone’s ego, but some people still struggle with accepting that.
    Maybe try to help him see it in a different way. While you don’t need him to provide for you financially, you still choose him each day. Wanting him means a lot more than needing to rely on his money, in my opinion.
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  • Moria
    Beginner September 2021
    Moria ·
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    Thank you, Great advice
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  • Sharonda
    Super January 2021
    Sharonda ·
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    You’re very welcome! Be careful who you listen to when it comes to your relationship. Nothing in your relationship has to make sense to anyone else but you and your fiancé. If it works for you two, regardless of what anyone else says or thinks about it, roll with it.
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    No, my FH makes abbout 9k more than me per year before taxes.


    The only time I see it causing issues is when the wife makes more is when she has a baby and the couple didn't properly manage their money to prepare. My employer only gave 30 days paid maternity leave or 90 days of unpaid maternity leave. I saw several couples struggle or the new momy is back at work within a month which is not enough healing time nor mommy-baby bonding time in my opinion.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    It’s totally ok to pay uneven amounts, or choose an equal percentage (e.g. you each pay 20% of your salary so you’d pay more because you make more).
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