Where to seat family that hates eachother?

Could you seat the moms (and their respective partners if any) at one table with grandparents and the dads at another table?

I was sit them where you think is best. If they don't like it, they don't have to come. I would honestly be firm with them that if they start any trouble, they will be out of there. No questions asked.

If it really is that touchy, honestly hiring security is a good idea. We are having security at our wedding just to make sure 1 specific person doesn't show up or get in to any of the spaces where the wedding is happening. My thing is, it is better to have it than to regret not having it. Honestly, even people just knowing there is security there is a deterrent for people to start up anything. (Plus you could always say it was required by the venue if anyone has an issue)

As far as seating goes, if you have 3 tables could the left table be your and his moms and their partners, the middle be bridal/groom party, and the right side be the dads and their partners? then the issues are seperated with a table in between them? not sure if your/his sides of the family talk much, but if they get along alright then this could be a decent option

This was a valid concern for our wedding too, as my husbands parents hate his brother (long family drama story), he is the BM, and our wedding is only 20 people. Thankfully in my case (and sadly for my husband), they RSVPd they aren’t coming. While I’m sad for my husband, I know it will make the day be drama free. Good luck — I feel for you!!

I would be very hesitant to invite the groom’s father if he is so estranged. With everyone else, seat them at different corners of the room away from each other.

Girl I would've called the whole thing off and eloped by now if I was you! Honestly, if it's that tense, are you and FH going to be able to relax at all and enjoy the day, or are you going to be worried about something popping off every second? I love family, I am all about family, but... you can't put aside your own happiness on your wedding day just to worry about the family.

Totally feel you. My in-laws hate each other. Like, FIL and MIL's SO got into a literal fist fight in the hospice ward of a hospital, over a family member's death bed, and had to be escorted out kind of hate. MIL divorced FIL to be with (marry? not actually sure) someone very close to FIL, and the family is divided straight down the middle - MIL side vs FIL side. Siblings and stepsiblings hate each other, the grandmothers hate each other.

I personally just took my hands off it entirely. I let them seat themselves at the ceremony and reception, because otherwise they could have taken it out on me - "you seated HIM in the front row?!?!?!" "YOU PUT THEIR TABLE CLOSER TO YOURS!!!!!!!" I just knew it would be nuclear war if I was the one to draw the lines in the sand.

They handled themselves respectfully. At the ceremony, they separated themselves across rows on their own, and at the reception they sat at separate tables - FIL table and MIL table.

We had a very small wedding, though, so if letting them handle themselves for the reception isn't reasonable, seat them at opposite sides of the room. Stand your ground - if someone questions why you did it, say "because I was concerned about interaction and wanted it minimized." I also would have a serious conversation ahead of time to let them know that you will not hesitate to have any one of them removed if they can't control themselves.

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That was my gut feeling too. Thank god our parents like each other or it would be a disaster.

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Saying it's required is a great idea! We are already nervous about a few family members just being drunk and stupid so this would kill two birds!

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They have made "amends" over the past 6 years so unfortunately, we have to invite his dad. I do think part of why my hubby was so involved and pushed for a grand event was to show off a bit to his dad but whatever lol

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Yes!! Being accused of favortism is happening with every move we make. My hubby LOATHES his step-mom because of her favoritism (she's always been kind to me) but his dad flew off when my hubby said she wasn't getting the same flower arrangement as my mom and his mom. Like she's a step?? That's normal?? So I casually hinted at everyone having the same to hubby's mom and she went ballistic that she's the mom she deserves better (and then had some choice words about step-mom). Like you all need to chill and just be quietttttt.

Oh wow, as a divorced person with college age kids, I feel for people with parents like this. It is a day. It is, really, about 8 hours you have to take a Xanax and remember it is NOT about you and your butt hurt feelings.

I would have a neutral party deliver the news that 1) seating arrangements have been made 2) there is no negotiations and 3) security has been hired so if you are a teeny time bit rude or out of line you are being bounced. Period. This is NOT an opportunity for you to settle scores with people from when Ronald Reagan was finishing his second term!!!

No hinting, no subtle suggestions, be FIRM and DIRECT.

Best wishes!!!