Whether to invite bigoted family members to an Lgbt+ wedding

I guess it's whether this is the stand you want to take with them. For me, it would be a solid no to inviting these people to the wedding. You don't owe people wedding invitations, and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone.

Even for the comfort of the other guests at the event. I, as a cis straight woman, would be incredibly offended at any homophobic behaviour at an event of any kind. You don't know what these people say to others in the room that they feel are "the same".

I would keep that nonsense far away from your day. Congrats in advance!

Personally I'd take them at face value and not on social media accounts. I understand your need to uphold principles, but what you may perceive as extremely hateful due to the personal application to you and your future wife, may actually be a blind spot they have not perceived yet.

Ultimately, of course it is up to you two. Speaking from experience, when you elect to leave significant family and friends of the family out of the celebration, questions and potentially conflicts will rise from it, and not just from the uninvited. If you are prepared to field those questions and accept the consequences because of your principles, more power to you.

I fear that the internet and social media is creating difficult divides between loved ones, though. The quickest way to conflict, is to stop discussion. You can perhaps reach out to these relatives yourself and have a conversation that addresses the issue in an open and genuine attempt to broach the divide. You want to invite them, but what are your misgivings? Share openly, honestly, and be prepared to listen. The answers might surprise you.

I just personally wouldn't let the internet dictate my perception of anyone, particularly those in my tribe. We need to do this, more than ever.

Also, congratulations to you two! ♥