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Gen
Champion June 2019

Which side do you put your families on?

Gen, on May 16, 2019 at 3:21 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 27
So of course the front rows at our ceremony will be reserved for our families.

I’ll be standing on the right (as is traditional in Jewish weddings) so I was under the impression that my family would sit on the right side of the aisle (directly behind me) and my FH’s family would sit to the left (directly behind him).

However our coordinator told us that generally it is flipped... so if I stand on the right side, then my family would sit on the left side, diagonal from me. Her reasoning was that from the diagonal angle, they’ll get a better view of my face. Now, this makes sense but she’s also given us some pretty bad advice before lol so I just wanted to see if that’s actually what is typically done or not.

Which side of the aisle did your families sit on? Behind you, or diagonal?

27 Comments

Latest activity by Gen, on May 19, 2019 at 4:43 PM
  • Victoria
    Super May 2019
    Victoria ·
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    I never even thought about them being able to see our faces so I’m interested in hearing some answers lol.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Yeah neither had I, which is why I’m wondering if this is actually a Thing or if our coordinator just made it up hahaha
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  • Jessica
    VIP June 2020
    Jessica ·
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    We are not making anyone sit on a particular side. We are just reserving the front rows for family. I never thought of the opposite side thing though, that's pretty interesting.

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  • Angerra
    VIP August 2019
    Angerra ·
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    We're doing open seating during our ceremony. We figured we're all going to become family so there's no need to have sides; we also aren't religious.
    What your coordinator recommended does make sense: I've never thought of it that way. I would recommend speaking to a family member and getting their input as to which side the family would sit on.
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    I’ve attended dozens of weddings and never seen the parents on the diagonal side. I guess what your coordinator is saying makes sense though about being able to see faces.
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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    I never heard of this, but I consider myself a fairly "old school, traditional" sort of bride. In non-Jewish ceremonies, bride is on the left and groom is on the right, with their "guests" lined up behind them (bride guests left, groom guests right). I knew that it was switched for Jewish weddings, so my assumption is like yours, bride guests on right, groom guests on left.

    Having said that, I know a lot of couples nowadays are going with open seating for the ceremony, allowing the guests to choose which side they sit on. I'm not doing that. So, I guess you're free to do whatever you like. Perhaps your coordinator isn't as familiar with traditional Jewish weddings?

    I would go with whatever makes you most comfortable. I'm doing the traditional seating.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    That is good to know, I haven’t been to many traditional weddings (the last one I attended was in the private room of a restaurant and people just sat at their tables during the ceremony lol) so I have no idea what is typically done 🤷🏻‍♀️
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Yeah regardless of who is on the right and who is on the left I feel like it makes sense to have our respective families on our respective sides. I mean, we are doing open seating for everyone else and sides don’t matter for that, but just for the front row which is assigned I do feel like it is weird to have his family behind me and mine behind him...
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  • Victoria
    VIP October 2018
    Victoria ·
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    I've always seen the bride's family sit on the side she stood on, and groom's family on the side he stood on. I've never heard of them being opposite, but it does make a bit of sense. I'd still sit your family on the right though.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I guess that makes sense, but I've always seen the family sit directly behind whoever they're related to.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Yep that's what I assumed! But it was never something I put much thought or paid much attention to so I wasn't sure if I was wrong in that assumption haha. It seems not Smiley tongue

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  • Jess
    Super September 2019
    Jess ·
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    We are doing exactly what your coordinator said. Our families will be opposite of the way we are standing that way we can each see our parents and vice versa.

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  • Rebecca
    Savvy October 2020
    Rebecca ·
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    We will have a sign telling people they can sit anywhere except the first two rows(they’re reserved for close family). But brides side usually sits the left and grooms on the right.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    In our cultural traditions, the families sit or stand to the sides, B family behind her, G family behind him, as bride and groom stand facing each other, not side by side. And guests not family sit to one side of B and Groom. The person marrying them stands on their other side. This comes from old traditions where families present the child they as a family raised ( not just parents) who is now ready to marry ( not given away.) At the end they step to a dwelling, symbol of home of husband and wife, now their own family. . . . My husband was raised in an Italian Catholic family, but we did not marry in church. There was a mantle and fireplace in the Inn. Chairs were set up with 2 aisles, so we did the walks from one side to meet in center. Still the question came up, which side B and which side G. My mom, FMIL, Justice of the Peace and grandmother were present to talk set up. My MIL said, as far as I am concerned, the woman of the household are always right about everything, so that is where the bride should be. We all laughed, agreed with her. Never told that to my hubby til after the wedding. He is of the, stand where I am told group, as he has been in a huge number of weddings, mostly Catholic, Jewish, and secular. And as far as he knows, everyone tells him different at every one. So, I was right. As usual. 😊
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  • Brooke
    Dedicated October 2020
    Brooke ·
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    Our families will be in front and everyine else will sit wherever, because we are joining families and don't want to segragate people to one side or the other
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  • C
    Super July 2019
    Crystal ·
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    My guest can sit any where for the ceremony we are not divding sides. Do the one you like best
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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    Due to not being Jewish, I googled.
    The Knot says she's wrong.

    I'd agree with her on sides but not faces if this was a non-Jewish wedding.
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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    I tried to attach a screenshot. But it wouldn't attach. Here is a link instead.

    https://www.theknot.com/content/jewish-wedding-ceremony-seating
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  • Emily
    Devoted December 2021
    Emily ·
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    At my future brother-in-law’s wedding (a Jewish wedding), the families sat on the opposite side of the bride/groom for the reason your coordinator gave: to see their faces. That was the only wedding I’ve been to where it’s been a “thing”. However, I think that’s what I’ll do at our ceremony because I’d rather have my family look at my face than the back of my head.
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    Mine sat on my side and couldn’t see me, so I learned the lesson— At my brother’s wedding a few weeks later I made us switch sides last minute so that we’d be able to see his face.
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