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Lynnie
WeddingWire Administrator October 2016

Who did you check in with before setting your wedding date?

Lynnie, on April 18, 2018 at 7:08 PM

Posted in Planning 80

There are so many factors to consider when picking your wedding date! From the season and weather, the desired length of your engagement, venue availability, holidays, your personal schedules - and also the schedules of some of your "VIPs"! Were there any family members or close friends you checked...

There are so many factors to consider when picking your wedding date! From the season and weather, the desired length of your engagement, venue availability, holidays, your personal schedules - and also the schedules of some of your "VIPs"!

Were there any family members or close friends you checked with first before nailing down your final wedding date?


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Photo by Lucas Rossi Photography in Moorpark, CA


Still need help deciding? Check out our tool to help you pick a wedding date , and these helpful articles: 9 Things to Consider to Set Your Wedding Date , Should I set my date or choose my venue first? , and The Wedding Dates to Avoid in 2018 and 2019 .

80 Comments

  • Cyndi
    Dedicated June 2018
    Cyndi ·
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    We didn't check with anyone. FH wanted to get married on the anniversary of our first date, June 23rd. He also proposed on June 23rd. He said it would help him always remember the date! We lucked out and June 23rd is on a Saturday this year. It won't happen again for over 20 years! Fortunately, the date works for everyone.
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  • FutureMrsN14
    Super July 2018
    FutureMrsN14 ·
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    I guess technically just our parents, but we told immediate family and our bffs right away and picked a date over a year out so that hopefully no one would have a conflict!
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  • MrsSnez
    Super October 2018
    MrsSnez ·
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    We're having a DW with about 30 people so we kind of checked in with everyone before booking anything (it's all parents and siblings). We originally wanted mid September, but that would mean pulling all the nieces and nephews out of school so we decided to go with the last week in August.
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  • Erica
    VIP August 2018
    Erica ·
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    We didn't check with anyone. We knew we wanted a summer wedding and August made the most sense to us and our savings plan.
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  • Mrscolón
    Super September 2019
    Mrscolón ·
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    My FH and I didn't check with anyone.. at all! LolSmiley tongue

    We knew we wanted fall, and I narrowed it down to end of September because it's beautiful in NH at that time. Originally we wanted the week before (no significant reason, I just always liked the date). However, the date was taken by the venue we chose. So the date we have was taken choice and I don't mind at all!

    Our families had no issue, and I guess I never thought to mention it to anyone before booking. I mean they knew we were looking in September 2019 at least.



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  • KarenO
    Master June 2018
    KarenO ·
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    We checked with my parents because their anniversary is the day before. We honestly wanted any other Friday in June, but it was the only one left by the time we booked (June 29). They'll be married for 49 years the day before we get married.

    Also, one of my close cousins had gotten married on their exact anniversary about 10 years ago, so we hoped they would be understanding.

    Now we look at it as couple goals.

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  • Jessica
    Super May 2019
    Jessica ·
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    No one. We've been engaged for years with no real plans. I woke up one morning, decided I wanted to get married (I'm the one who's dragged my feet for financial reasons. FH has been ready to get married for forever.), checked the calendar, decided our 10 year anniversary was as good a day as any, texted FH that I picked a day, and that was that. He was thrilled and it was far enough away that we didn't really think it needed to be cleared with anyone.

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  • rica
    VIP September 2018
    rica ·
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    I ran things by our parents, but I didn’t expect it to be a huge deal either way from my mom or FILs. My dad works weekends though so I wanted to make sure he was ok with it. And we picked the same weekend as FSIL last year, so I wanted to make sure we were okay with kind of stealing her anniversary. We had two options and she actually talked us into doing “her weekend”. It was nice to get her approval.
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  • Christin
    Devoted May 2019
    Christin ·
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    I just made sure my parents didn't have anything going on, and other than that, since we were a whole year out, I went with when my preferred venue was available. My choice was made easy by the venue only having one Saturday in May available anyway!

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  • Tanya
    Expert May 2018
    Tanya ·
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    FH and I looked at a calendar and made note of important dates in May. The end of my spring semester, Mother's Day, my birthday, Memorial Day and the day of the week for May 31st. Based on that, we chose 5/20. Once we really started planning we told our parents. We didn't check with any VIPs. I knew my MOH would be available because we're in school together.

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  • N
    Devoted October 2018
    Nicole ·
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    Fiance and I chose a date and then told everyone else afterwards.

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  • M
    VIP June 2018
    Marcellab ·
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    Two of my best friends because its between their birthdays and one is traveling (her birthday is the day after). My aunt and mom because my grandmas birthday is close and my cousin is graduating so travel for both of those events for family. And we may have talked to his family but I dont remember.
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  • Shayna
    Super August 2018
    Shayna ·
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    We didn’t check with anyone and now we are getting married on my aunts birthday...oops! Luckily she thinks it’s awesome!
    • Reply
  • Mrs. H
    Master September 2019
    Mrs. H ·
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    At first, I didn't think to check in with anyone... I wanted to get married in October, have always wanted to get married in October, and then I remembered... CRAP, my ex-boyfriend's fiancee had just announced (after a 3 year engagement, mind you) that they're getting married on October 6th, 2019 - which is the day after the date I originally wanted. We have all of the same friends, so half of our guests would be torn on which wedding to attend. At the time, spiteful me was beyond pissed that they decided to have their wedding 4 years later on the exact weekend I wanted, so I booked my wedding for the weekend before... oops Smiley winking

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  • Mrs. Sponge
    Master April 2018
    Mrs. Sponge ·
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    We goofed. We just booked it. Luckily our parents were ok with it. Unfortunately FH has a woman in his life that is like a grandmother to him and a very close family friend. Her gran daughter is graduating college that weekend and won't be able to make it.

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  • V
    Super April 2019
    Valerie ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I didn't check in with anyone either. My FH was adament about no summer wedding and we knew it had to be around my school vacation as I'm a teacher so that left us christmas, february, and april. And as I don't trust New England winter weather, we picked the saturday of my April vacation.

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  • M
    Devoted July 2018
    Mrs. Terelo ·
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    No one. I checked my calendar to see what weekends I had my kids and picked a weekend that worked for the season we wanted to get married in. As long as my fiance and my kids are there that's all that matters to me.
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  • M
    Super October 2018
    MaltedMilk ·
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    No one! FH was dead set on October, I did not want October 8 as that is the day my dad passed. Wanted outdoors and we needed to get 'er done before it got too chilly.

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  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·
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    We ran the date by all our parents and our minister.
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  • Jeleebeenz
    VIP September 2015
    Jeleebeenz ·
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    I am noticing that everyone who has replied isn't married yet so there is no definitive way to see whether it affected some people coming to the wedding.

    In our family our girls checked with us (except once), and with their non-negotiable VIPs. Think grandparents or God parents, etc.

    My youngest stepdaughter got married the first time at 18. She knew DH and I would not be happy about her getting married so young, so she and her mom made ALL the wedding plans and THEN she came and told her father. There were 2 problems, depending on how you look at it. The first was she decided to get married 3 weeks before my oldest daughter who had been planning her wedding for months (no way can we afford that. what we do for one we do for all and it just wasn't possible). The other problem was I already had published orders to attend the Army's senior NCO academy school over her wedding date. You don't cancel those orders unless you die. I wished her well, told her I couldn't be there and hoped it would be beautiful. On her own she changed her date so I could attend.

    I think when you set your date you need to do so in a way that ensures maximum attendance of those VIPs who are make it or break it for you. Some people don't have anyone in that category and that is fine. But many do.

    In our family we know that 4th of July weekend is nonnegotiable for 3 sets of aunts and uncles. They all (just by coincidence) have standing vacay plans with other couples. They are not going to cancel them for a wedding. They have been taking these trips for years. If you want them at your wedding you don't choose that week.

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