Who gives the couple a wedding shower and what is the role of a hostess?

Anyone can offer to host a shower, obviously the bride would decline in this situation. The host(ess) is responsible for planning, paying for, and coordinating the event.

View Quoted Comment We actually added her to the guest list after she ask to be a hostess. We felt bad 🥱 I was planning on giving her a shower with her FMIL, didn’t realize people would be asking to be a hostess!

Traditionally the family /mother doesn’t host a bridal shower but a close friend or other bridesmaids.

View Quoted Comment Really? Interesting. In my experience it’s usually the mother of the bride.

It's usually the mother of the bride or the bridesmaids. The weddings I've been in the mother was closely involved so the cost didn't fall all on the bridesmaids as weddings get costly for everyone. I've never heard a sort of random person asking to host the shower. Maybe you can just assign her some jobs if she's willing to help, I'd never turn away help.

I agree, I the weddings I have been in the MOH and the bridesmaids were the ones paying and planning the bridal shower

The showers I’ve been invited to were hosted by the MOH or all of the bridesmaids together.


Ask your daughter if she even wants a shower. Weddings are fun, bachelorettes are fun, but bridal showers are invariably BORING. I now automatically decline showers I get invited to unless I’m in the bridal party and can’t avoid, and I told my bridesmaids not to throw one because I have no interest.