Who is getting ready with you?

I think there's a couple questions you need to ask yourself to see how this will work logistically:

- Who is staying with you the night before? (if you and FH are staying separate the night before the ceremony) - This is also a really good chance to bond with mom/sister/bestie

- Where are you staying the night before?

- Are you getting ready at the hotel or at the venue?

- Is everyone getting hair and makeup done professionally?

What I'm kindof imagining as a best case scenario is you are either staying at your family home or hotel with a friend/family member. The next morning you can get some breakfast with just mom, sister, an bestie and relax. Whether getting ready at a hotel or the venue, have the three of you get ready first - if using professional HMU, they'll provide a schedule and you can put a preferred order of getting ready...put the two SILs last. Of course, they'll be present to get these services, but let's say you start getting ready at 10am and they aren't on the schedule until 1pm so you have them arrive at 12:30pm (Food for thought - is your FMIL getting ready with y'all too? If so, she may be able to keep the SILs on a leash a little). Once you are ready, you can either go to a different room or have the bridesmaids step out so you can have your mom help you get into your dress and share a personal moment. This is probably the best compromise I can think of where you get max time with those important to you, but still come out on top as the person who is looking to build and maintain a great relationship with the new members of her family Fill your bestie in on the situation, and she can be your wing woman the morning of to distract the SILs or calm them down if they get annoying!

Look, I get it. I invited my SIL to be a bridesmaid because I didn't know her well (but everyone in town knows her reputation...lol) and I thought this would be a good chance for me to be the bigger person and say, "hey, we're going to be family and I'm excited". The morning of, while all the moms and bridesmaids were excitedly getting ready, she kindof just hung out on her phone until the guys arrived several hours later to get ready, then she just wanted to hang out with her husband. I was annoyed, but honestly it was the best case scenario because she wasn't causing drama or stressing us out (and bonus points, I look like a saint to all of the parents). Good luck girl!!

I only have a MOH but, with that being said, I will be getting ready with her, my sister, my brother's fiance, my best friend, my future sister in law, my mother, and my future mother in law. Just the important women in my life.

Thanks for all of that advice! Rehersal dinner is the night before so we'll likely be out late that night. My extended family is staying with me so us women won't have time together just us. I'm also the first to get married so this will be an incredibly emotional time for me. Mother and sister live oversees and aren't around often either. FMIL doesn't want to pay for the girls to have their hair and makeup done so they won't be using whoever I use. I also honestly don't want FMIL or FSILs there. I want this moment with my mother and sister and potentially best friend, and if that's selfish then I guess I'm being selfish. His mother and sisters are welcome to hang out with him during this time. I'm thinking the girls can arrive before I get dressed for pictures and whatnot. That'd be around 4:00, and the ceremony doesn't start until 7, so they'd still have time with us. I guess I honestly haven't had that "we're going to be family and I'm excited" moment because as hard as I've tried in the past they just seem to be ambivalent towards me.

I definitely get that, and there's a lot of "fake it until you make it" on the whole being excited to have family members that really aren't that nice to you kindof thing Sounds like they have other plans for the day of, so I don't see why FMIL is so freaked out! Having them there at 4pm for pics seems like more than enough "bonding" time for a 7pm ceremony. Maybe FMIL is just over excited for the first wedding and it's coming out poorly? Try not to stress, it sounds like you'll get some good mom/sister time the morning of good luck!!

You are an angel. Thank you so much!

My whole wedding party including my mom,and grandparents. Im so excited however I dont want noone delaying the process of everyone getting ready.

Are you getting ready at a salon?

if you are since they aren't using your hair/makeup people most salons don't want people who aren't using there services getting themselves ready there. they can always join you later on!

I think they shouldn't be making a big deal out of it. This is your day and you want to spend your moment with those closest to you.

My MOH, my mom and my MIL. The mean the most to be and will help calm the nerves

You're not being selfish at all. Besides, if there's any day you can, it's your wedding day. It's your choice who you want to get ready with & if it means a lot to you that it's just your sister and mom, then that's how it should be.