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Taylor
VIP October 2020

Who needs a good laugh? This woman has some nerve.

Taylor, on January 23, 2020 at 9:18 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 21

So here's a little backstory: My FH and I are paying for the majority of our own wedding. My parents have covered a portion and his will be doing the rehearsal but most of it is on us. That being said, we have a ton of family and friends so the guest count is still relatively high. Ideally, we'll have 200 people show up but we had 246 invites that went out. Even with this number, we had to make SO MANY cuts. There are many people that I would like to attend but cannot afford to invite. SO here's where the humor comes in. I invited my mom's half siblings. We literally never see them. We live in TX and they live in NY. They make no effort to speak to us and I think I've met them twice in my lifetime... I invited them (and spouses) as a courtesy but I opted out of inviting their children for many reasons. A) I don't know them and my guest count is already too high B) If I invite one siblings kids, I have to invite all of them. My mom's half brother has SEVEN children. I would have had to reserve 14 more seats to invite their kids. I didn't really want to cut 14 more people for children that I don't even know. #sorrynotsorry PLUS I honestly didn't think they'd come anyway for many reasons. One of them being financial. You know when you make a guest list and automatically tick people off that will definitely not come in your head? This was one of those.

I mailed out my STD's for my October wedding last week and started getting the "Can't wait!" text messages from various people. Last night I got this message from my mom's half-sister:

"Hi, I got your save the date card. Are kids going to be able to come to the wedding? We are hoping to be able to come but I would have to bring the kids."

My response:

"Hi! Unfortunately, due to facility limits, we are at our absolute max capacity on guests. I'd love for y'all to be able to come and I wish I could invite everyone but we've hit our guest max."

Her response:

"Ok..... I was hoping you could meet your cousins" In another message, "They haven't even met their aunt (my mom)... maybe one day"

My response:

"I wish I could invite everyone that I really want to but FH and I are paying for the majority of this ourselves and have a limited budget. We had to make a ton of touch decisions with the guest list. I'm sorry! Hopefully we can come to NY and meet them all soon!"

Her response:

"Sorry I was hoping to come. I haven't seen your mom in 10 years." In another message: "I don't even have her phone number."

At this point I steered the conversation in the direction of me getting her my mom's phone number but for REAL???? I am in disbelief that you would even ask! My wedding is not a family reunion. You're more than welcome to come: I invited you. You're more than welcome to bring your kids to Texas. They just can't come to the wedding. If you miss my mother so much and are willing to tote your 5 kids down here than do it!!! Nobody is stopping you. I'm just amazed at the manner's people have.

***I just want to disclaim that I do not hate children. I just don't have the money to pay for 14 more peopleSmiley smile***



21 Comments

Latest activity by Taylor, on January 24, 2020 at 8:52 AM
  • Bunga
    Savvy May 2026
    Bunga ·
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    Oh no! She was definitely trying to guilt trip you for an invitation lol. I would just ignore her at this point. Way to stand your ground with your polite but firm no answers!

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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    I think your statement about it being a wedding, not a family reunion, is so spot on! When making out our initial guest list we kept having to add more & more guests out of obligation because “if you invite this guest, you have to invite that one”. At 263 guests (and still growing) I finally said this is feeling like a family reunion, not a wedding. And right then, we decided to cut our list to 50 and have a destination wedding. I truly do feel like weddings have become such a huge production with insanely large guest lists because of this “family reunion” mentality that is being pushed onto the bride & groom. This is your special day & you should feel free to invite (or not invite) whoever you want without any sense of obligation or anyone pressuring you into feeling guilty. Good for you politely standing your ground!
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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    Thank you! I just got to the point that I was laughing last night. The woman is insaneXD

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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    I’m so proud of you for doing this! 50 guests is a GREAT size. Small enough to feel intimate, large enough to party. ❤️ 🎉
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    This sums it up: 😱🤦‍♀️🤯


    What cracks me up is she won’t come by herself when she claims seeing your mom is so important but then says she doesn’t have her phone number! 😝
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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    I 100% agree! It's become absolutely ridiculous. If you're inviting someone out of obligation and not because you genuinely want them there, you probably shouldn't invite them. I should have taken my own advice on this one. I honestly have no opinion on them coming or not coming. That being said, they were the "Oh I'll send them one so I don't rock the boat. They will 100% not show up anyway." Look where that one got me. lol

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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    Thank you! ❤️ It was difficult cutting down the list, but now that we’ve made the decision, we are sooooo happy we did! I love the idea of only our nearest & dearest being present for such a special moment.
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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    Haha! Well hey, that’s money saved and free seats for people that are important to you 😀
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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    Exactly! I was in disbelief about the entire conversation and then she said she didn't have her number and I was FLOORED. I asked why she didn't have it because it hasn't changed in years and she said "I lost all of my contacts 3 years ago and hers was one that was never recovered." The woman spends half of her life on FB. If she really wanted it she could have messaged and asked (like she very rudely messaged me to guilt me into additional invites). LOL

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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Also awesome that you listened to your heart and now your wedding is filled with more happiness than drama & stress! ❤️ 👏
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    I know, right?! 🤦‍♀️
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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    Thank you Smiley heart That's what we're going for!

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    No you were not wrong but people are quick to impart their opinions on what they want on your day. You do not have to leave a disclaimer. I love kids too but all my events will be adults only. Sorry not sorry either. You are better than I as I have half siblings that live in my city but I do not have a relationship with them and vice versa so no invites there and it would be their kids too. I feel any relationship is a two way street. I am considering not inviting some friends to my post elopement ceremony as I would only do it because they invited me to their wedding so I feel I should but they do not reach out to me or make plans and for one friend I am always the one to ask so I stopped that. God bless you for having a 200 people wedding so at that point she is saying she cannot come so I would not respond so she can keep the guilt trip. If you meeting them was so important they would have made an effort to see you prior.

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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    Exactly. I wanted to ask her why my wedding needed to be the reason to come to Texas if she was so concerned about it. Obviously hasn't been a huge deal to have a relationship with your sister. as you haven't even had he phone number for 3 YEARS lol I can't deal with people. I won't be responding to her anymore. I was just trying to be as polite as humanely possible Smiley smile

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I get you I would have done the same and once she was not getting I would have to stop so I did not say anything to her that I could not take back ha ha. You're a good Samaritan for trying. Smiley smile

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  • Alejandra
    Super November 2021
    Alejandra ·
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    Lol I love that she thought the guilt trip would work. While I do think weddings are somewhat of a family reunion, the first "no" should have been the hint. Just ignore her and continue to plan your wedding!

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  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    This is actually pretty common. Weddings and funerals for some, always turn into family reunions. I will say, your answers were perfect and I definitely don't blame you for not including the kids. I personally wouldn't have invited anyone the both of us weren't close to so you did more than I did lol

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  • Nicole
    Super October 2021
    Nicole ·
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    Wow that's incredibly rude. She shouldn't use your wedding for her family reunion as she said....she doesn't have your mom's phone number??? so why is your wedding the responibility of her kids meeting their aunt that she's barely in touch with lol. Let's hope for your sake its an RSVP no.

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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    Some people just can't take a hint lol

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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    Thank you! I was trying to keep my cool and then I just had to laugh.

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