Who pays for what?

It is very common for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses and hair and makeup! An exception to this is if you are requiring them to get their hair and makeup done - if that is the case, then you should cover the cost. Otherwise, if it's optional for them, they can choose whether or not they want to pay to have it done.

Exactly what Lisa said in the above comment, you aren't in the wrong. It would just be thoughtful to consider getting a color/style of bridesmaid dress that they could possibly wear again!

Once, I was asked to be a back-up bridesmaid in case someone dropped out at the last minute (spoiler, the bride wasn't crazy and they did drop out the night before so I was in the wedding). I was the only person she paid for the dress since it was up in the air as to if I would even need it. All the other bridesmaids paid for their own dress and the only one with professional hair/makeup was the bride.


I would agree that if you are requiring professional hair/makeup that you should pay for it. Also, try to keep in mind your bridesmaids' financial situation so you are not overburdening them with multiple expenses. Sounds like you have it all figured out and are in the right.

Pay for their own dress is the usual. They agree to some kind of financial responsibility when they accept being a BM but not hair & makeup. If theres a specific look you want them to have or hairstyle then you need to pay for it. Or find someone that isnt expensive that your BM dont mind paying. As long as you are all on the same page. Im not forcing my BM to get updos which would most likely require a hair stylist. I told them either hair down or half up half down which is something they can do at home

It's super common (if not the norm) for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses. Hair and makeup isn't as clear cut. Generally, the rule is that if the bride is requiring that the bridesmaids get professional hair and makeup done, then the bride needs to pay. If hair and makeup are optional, then the bridesmaids can pay for themselves. Since you mentioned that you're tight on money, I'd recommend having hair and makeup for your bridesmaids be optional, and then you wouldn't be responsible for covering these costs.

As a bridesmaid, I would be extremely upset if the bride required me to have hair and makeup done but made me pay. If hair and makeup were optional, then I'd have no problem with this because it would be up to me to choose whether or not I want my hair and makeup done.

It is typical that they pay for their dress, although you should consult them all ahead of time to understand where everyone is comfortable budget-wise before you start looking for bridesmaid dresses. Hair & makeup is optional - if they want to get those services they can pay for it. However, if you are requiring/mandating hair & makeup, then you must pay for it.

View Quoted Comment

Agree with this. The same applies to accessories (jewelry, etc) if you require a specific look the the bride covers the costs. Outside of the US, the bride pays for everything.

Thank you all. I’m not making them get their hair done or make up by any professional or jewelry that is their choice the only thing I ask is that they find a dress with the color I request.

My bridesmaids were happy to pay for their hair and makeup. I gave them the option of paying for their dress if they wanted to keep them. They were custom made for them so it fitted them perfectly. Plus, I made sure they were all happy with the design and were comfortable on them. So they were happy to get another nice dress. So yeah, if everyone is comfortable with paying I'm pretty sure it's ok.

If you can find a couple stores that are affordable that have the color you want, let the bridesmaids know to try there so it they all have the color. If you don't mind them matching exactly then I wouldn't worry about it. My sister paid for my dress when I was in her wedding but I was about to graduate, all the other girls had to pay for their own dresses and alterations (not everyone's dress was the same length but still looked great) and she payed for the hairstyles and the jewelry (which she gave as a gift at the rehearsal dinner).

Bridesmaids usually buy their own dresses- there are lots of affordable options. Only time you would pay for hair & makeup is if you’re requiring a certain look.

No, you're not in the wrong. I've been told this same thing and I honestly think it's much easier for people to throw their opinions around when they aren't in the situation. Every wedding article I've come across regarding what a bridesmaid is responsible for purchasing says the same thing, and you can find some and send to her for some light reading. But bridesmaids are responsible for getting their own attire and accessories, (Even transportation may be on them. I'll have to double-check). Brides get their bouquets. If it is mandatory for them to have professional hair and makeup then you fit the bill if it's optional then the costs are up to them. What I did was find a place with affordable bridesmaid's dresses which were birdy grey and over the holidays they had amazing sales! I also gave info on professional hair and makeup that I will be using but made it clear it is optional. If they have their go-to people or do their own hair and make they are free to go those routes. I gave them the costs and will let them make their own decisions. I also don't believe anything in the wedding world is mandatory or law, it's more of a suggestive etiquette people follow. Like tipping vendors, people always make it seem like it is something you must do but always leave out that it is completely optional unless otherwise stated in your bill. These "rules" are just etiquette but not law. Learning that and reminding myself of that has taken a lot of pressure and stress off of me.

I don't think that's wrong.

You aren't in the wrong at all! My ladies are buying their own dresses, and I told them having their hair and makeup done professionally was an option. I offered to pay for anyone that wanted those done, but they all refused to let me pay lol. So they're paying for their dress, hair and makeup.

All my bridesmaids bought their own dresses. When I brought up hair and makeup, as some of the stylists I talked to offered bridal party packages, they all said they'd do their own hair and makeup. If anything, the bridesmaids should pay for the shower and the bachelorette party. My future mother-in-law offered to pay for my nieces' flower girl dresses, but my sisters insisted they could take care of it. It wasn't about tradition; I think my FMIL was just trying to be nice.

Our wedding party is paying for their own dresses as well. My fiancé is going to help pay for the girls to get their hair done. But the guys are responsible for just getting a clean cut.

Very common for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses! I did pay for all of my bridesmaids' hair and makeup even though I wasn't going for any specific look, but you're absolutely fine to not pay for your girls' hair and makeup if you're making it optional

When I was a bridesmaid I've never expect the bride to pay for my things. I think when u agree to be in a wedding it does come with a cost. As a bride to be and a soon to be MOH in my friends wedding I know how much they are already fronting for their wedding. All my girls are paying for their dress, hair, makeup and accessories. I'd only pay for their hair and makeup if I was choosing it to be a certain way.

Every wedding I have ever been I've had to pay for my own dress, hair and makeup. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I think that in this day and age that is not unheard of and in many ways expected by bridesmaids. Now if you chose to purchase one of those things as a gift to them that is a different story. My future sister-in-law paid for our makeup as a gift to us so you could always do something like that if you feel you your girls could use a little help and you are able to swing it.

Couples pay a lot of money in general for weddings so I would never expect to have them pay my way as a bridal party member. I am having my girls pay for their own dresses but being considerate of price when I choose what I want. On the flipside we are also having our groomsmen pay for their own suits as well. I am planning on gifting my bridesmaids their jewelry for the day but haven't decided what.

It's very normal for bridesmaids to pay for their own dress, hair and makeup. You are not wrong for having them pay for themselves.