Who pays?

Yeah, I don't think it's cool for anyone to call someone with a big budget ridiculous or excessive. You don't see big budget brides on here telling people with a $5k budget that they're stingy...

My FMIL is paying for our honeymoon. She insisted after my family paid for the wedding. I would never have asked either set of parents for it though.

Oh god Kristen, no.....

@Kristin-No.

OP, you are a smart person, you already know what your crowd will think of a honeymoon fund. Most likely your crowd will gift you cash anyways.

@Kristin the crowd that attends a $75k wedding for two doctors daughter ain't gonna be down for a honeymoon registry. I can guarantee that shit

I seriously loved the feedback from all of you guys i love the different point of views and i definitely got my answer on that note me and my FH will be paying for our own honeymoon lol thank you all

@Kate that is not an assumption that is fact lol

@Lynnijah stick around, post and ask questions. We are a blunt but helpful bunch

Awesome OP! Thanks for listening to advice and not getting sucked into the other shit! Change your avatar and stick around

In NYC/NJ area where I got married, we were very close to 75k already and that was with me compromising on some things that I really wanted to do. I could've easily racked up a bill of 100k for this wedding if I had the money lying around, so it's all relative to your location. We also had a guest list of 200 (that was initially 300) because we both come from huge families and have many close family friends.

Anyway, I do know that in some cultures, the family of the bride or groom still pays for the entire wedding (my culture, but my parents couldnt afford to so they chipped in as much as they could, which is more than I ever asked and we are still so grateful). HOWEVER, your honeymoon, even in these cultures, is your responsibility unless a friend or family member gifts the trip to you. In no way should you expect this or even worse, ask for it, if you are or aren't from these cultures. Please pay for your own and if you can't, wait a little and save up for it. We couldn't afford the lavish 2-3 week honeymoon that I wanted (and frankly neither of us could take more time off at work) so we went on a quick 5-day getaway and are saving up and planning for a longer vacation/belated honeymoon for this summer or our anniversary.

OP since your parents aren't paying for your honeymoon, you think they'd mind paying for mine??? Just kidding .. but maybe not lololol.

$75k around here is so easily attainable unfortunately. I'm at almost $40k just for my venue if all of my guests reply yes.

Lol you said the same thing over and over when people agreed with you but now that people don't, the comment was "misconstrued".... ETA: and hiding all your comments like you just did @HisBeauty doesn't change the fact that everyone saw them, but nice try.

Small budgets don't so much get shamed here as they get feedback that tries to guide people back to reality; no, you cannot host 300 people well on 5000.00, no matter how you mutate your definition of "well". The shame comes from couples who think it's just fine to hire friendors, to make family cook, to make their guests pay for drinks and in other ways shift their costs to the guests instead of planning the party they can actually afford. And that's worthy of shame.

By the same token, while I would personally not spend 75,000 on a wedding, OP's family is not mine. Because of my area, we do lots of weddings that come in far over that number. If that's something the couple/family wants to host, if it's something that is important to their family, I'm happy to have a little part.

In any case, your vacation is your vacation. I might suggest that since parents paying for the entire wedding is fairly traditional, OP might be following that line of thought and asking who traditionally pays for the honeymoon.

Tradition or not? You should pay. I think ya got that now, lol!

@HB definitely don’t hide your comments. I think something that gets missed here sometimes (partly because of the platform, the commenting system, etc, and partly because of just people and how they are) is the natural arc of a conversation. When you read through this whole thread, there is a great progression of initial reaction, explanation, personal relatability and more explanation.

LB, I wasn't trying to shame anyone. I believe a few quoted what I said, you being one. I owned up to wording it completely wrong, yet It's still being said I shamed her, which I was in no way trying to do. All I can say is I'm human, and worded it completely wrong. I've owned up from the beginning i wasn't trying to shame her. I even tried to reword what I said so it wouldn't be thought I was.

The people going on the honeymoon usually pay.

ETA: didn't read the comments..

Is this real life? You pay for it. Get a grip.

My mom is paying for my wedding and paying for the condo in kiawaii I'm staying in at Kiawah. But they own it and I'm on disability so it's their wedding present to me but I pay for food and excursions be they are just paying the cleaning fee

After a gift of $75k, I wouldn't push it. Personally, I'd feel horribly guilty if I took that much money as a gift from my parents, but do what makes you comfortable. I'd recommend, at the very least, giving them a very special gift on the wedding day or rehearsal.

Pay for your own honeymoon and if you can't afford it rn you can always save up for a one-year anniversary vacation.

I know....start a honeyfund!! Lol