Who to pick as a bridesmaid?

Sides don't have to be even, and can be mixed gender. You could pick 2–3 of these people or none. Whether they were in your previous wedding also shouldn't matter. But I understand you don't want a dozen bridesmaids because that adds extra costs/chaos to the day.


In your shoes, I would probably pick friend 3 and 4. Your FH can have his sister and/or cousin stand on his side as groomswomen.

Echoing that you don't have to have even or gendered sides. That being said, if you want the sides even/ gendered then I'd probably pick your SIL since she's family and you have a good relationship with her.

I would go with sister in law or friend number 3. I don’t have bridesmaids but I would pick the one who had been the most consistent friend and most supportive of your relationship.

I'd personally choose SIL or friend 3

I personally wouldn’t have any of them in my wedding. It doesn’t sound like you’re thrilled to include any of them and you’re obviously fine with each of them not being in the wedding, so why include them? Just for the sides to be even? Not necessary.

I would not pick any. A bridesmaid should only be your current bestest closest friends, not a “filler” role for anyone random. It doesn’t sound like any on your list fit that criteria.

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Oh, I didn't mean for it to sound that way! I really love all these girls, except for my fiance's cousin who I don't really know. The issue I was trying to convey is that I have too many people I could ask to be a bridesmaid. I don't really want to have 13.

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That's fair. All of these women are my good friends except my fiance's cousin. I didn't mean for it to sound like a filler position. It's was more like I have too many friends to choose from that I would love to be a part of my day. 13 bridesmaids would be a lot and I would be considering this even if they all were my best friends.

View Quoted Comment Many people don’t realize that being a guest a huge honor and some enjoy it more than being a bridesmaid. Either way, they can still celebrate with the bride. Just because someone is a guest doesn’t mean they can’t be invited to share in the getting ready festivities with the bride. When you say “be a part of your day” what do you mean by that? Is that getting ready together? Is that attending the ceremony? What is one group able to do that another cannot because they are chosen as bridesmaids or not chosen?

I definitely agree with Caytlyn. I wouldn't pick anyone because had you wanted to ask one of them to be in your wedding, you would have asked without any further reflection.

And because sides don't have to be even. If you're worried about photos, let me tell you that 7 vs 6 is not a big deal, it's not like ,say, 7 vs 2.
While I understand why the idea of asking your future sister-in-law seems like the best move, I also think that if she's mature enough and not selfish, she won't throw a fit over this. She might get upset but she would leave you alone. And many siblings/ future siblings-in-law want to be a 'normal' guest.As for the fiancé's cousin, if he really wants her to be in the wedding, she should be added to his team, not yours since you don't know her well. The same about his sister.

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I mean standing by my side as I get married and being part of the ceremony.

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I would ask all of them, but 13 bridesmaids and 7 groomsmen seems like too many. Also no one would be upset if I didn't ask them I think they would all understand. I love and care about all of these women, except his cousin I don't really know well.

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Okay!

But I'm 100% sure you can pick one over the other 6, the one you're currently the closest to. Based on what you said about these girls, I think your future SIL and the good friend you are the closest to are the 2 'logical' choices if that makes sense.

I vote your SIL!

I feel like if you re-read the question, the answer would be obvious. SIL is literally the only person whom you wrote anything positive about them as a person, lol

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LOL omg I just read it back completely and now I understand why I was getting the comments I was getting. I think I will pick SIL just because it's easier and then I don't have to choose between friends.