I need to vent. I just got a headache and finished crying, just from dealing with it. FH and I come from big families. Ideally, we want less than 200 - this is only close family (95%) and close friends (5%). There are still other family we did not invite bc we're not very close with them. My sister is the MOH, single and not bringing a plus one. My FH's brother is 18 and wanted to bring a friend, we had to decline (he already has another friend that's coming and that's bc his family is family friends with my family). One family from my FH's side has a different philosophy when it comes to guests - they bring anyone and everyone to other people's party. I knew from day one that we would have to enforce boundaries. IN our RSVP's we formatted, "we have ____ seats reserved for you". On our website, we put FAQ that specifically says not to bring other guests (politely, of course).
2 of his cousins have been BUGGING us about this. They're both creepy-loser types. 1 cousin had his best dude friend asked us during a dinner, "hey, so what's the deal with this wedding. Is it a 'anyone can come?'" I was STUNNED. SPEECHLESS. I barely know his cousin's friend and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know my full name. He even asked us how many people we are inviting and that not all everyone will attend so there's room for him. FH and I put out foot down. FH's cousin looked offended.
His other cousin has a "situation" with a girl at work and asked my FH if he could bring her. First off - this cousin has never been in a serious relationship, let alone in a relationship (in general). Instead of my FH putting his foot down, he asked me. That stressed me out and I was upset - made it CLEAR that we are not allowing this.
My reasoning behind this: 1. it's expensive (costs per head is pricey!); 2. I don't want random people at an intimate event; 3. just bc people decline, doesn't mean you add more; 4. my parents are footing the majority of the bill. Why should they have to pay for my FH's cousins's random date?
What is it that makes people want to invite plus ones? And great, now I'm going to be the bad guy but whatever, that's their way of manipulating me. Make me feel like I'm the bad person when it reality, people need to respect our boundaries. Also, I'm low key really upset that my FH didn't shut it down and even talked to me about it when he knew the answer is "no"
