why can't a bride host her own shower?

Because it's gift grabby and self-indulgent. And no, a shower is not some kind of basic right that all brides "deserve".

Thanks ladies. I never realize it was a big issue. I always went to shower in a banquet or club house growing up and never gave it a second thought about gift grabby. I didn't hear anyone complain about my coworkers shower.

I was just curious. My family is old school Italian and its considered rude to not give a gift if a couple marries or has a baby, shower or not.

You aren't getting married just for the gifts because gifts should never be required ever. So how does anyone deserve it?

Maybe deserve is not the right word. I was simply just asking why one brides cant throw her own shower if no one is.

Its kind of like a birthday party. Like, you don't throw yourself a birthday party. Your parents do (especially as a kid), or your friends do, or your husband does, but you don't throw one for yourself (decorate, plan food, buy a cake, etc). No one is required to have a party- the birthday happens with or without it.

@annakay,my friends do throw their own birthday parties. No lie. Some do a whole weekend.

Think I got it. Again I'm thankfully to have my mom and fmil host my shower but was just curious. I learned a lot of things are big no no's on ww that I never knew before.

I would think it's because a bridal shower literally means, to shower the bride with love and gifts. So, if she throws/hosts one herself, it just comes off as weird and greedy maybe? It's a party to spoil the bride and seems odd for a bride to plan herself. Nobody deserves a bridal shower. It's something that is or isn't planned by the women in her life. If there are no women in her life, then she probably doesn't get a bridal shower. I think I'm starting to get off track here, lol.

I guess I might be the only one to not care who hosts the bridal shower. No matter who hosts it, its about the gifts. It seems weird to me to say, "Oh, so you have no one in your life to throw you a shower? No shower for you!"

I feel like this is something that I know, but my friends and family don't. And I'll be super bummed if I don't get a shower just because no one volunteers to host it. But the term shower does dictate the showering of gifts and it's definitely rude to invite people to buy you presents.

I agree with Chris. I also think it depends on the mindset of the people you'll be inviting. If it's the norm in your area/social group then I don't think it's a big deal, however if it's not the norm and people will get "offended" by it then it's probably a bad idea.

I have thrown my own bday parties and so have my friends and so have millions of people, reason is the bday party is totally an Apple where a shower is an orange. When I was pregnant no one the me a shower.Yeah I was bummed but that's from being bummed about not being able to spend a fun day with friends and family. I think if a bride would to throw herself a shower it should only be, as a previous poster said, a recipe shower or something like that. Also food for thought, look at how the whole digital showing came about.

I planned/hosted my own 30th and 40th birthday parties. However, I will not be hosting my shower.

Bridal Shower: a gift-giving party held for a bride-to-be in anticipation of her wedding.

It's for you as a bride, so unlike a birthday party, you cannot plan or host. You are the guest of honor (the most important guest at an occasion)

I agree that throwing yourself a shower is gift grabby and really tasteless. But on the flip side (I was kind of feeling this a few weeks ago) when you go to everyone else's shower and buy them gifts, when it's your turn, I can sympathize with the idea of 'I gave everyone else gifts, now it's my turn'. Especially if you don't have anyone to step up (no sisters, closest friends out of town, etc.) I'm lucky enough to have a generous Aunt, but again, my mom threw showers for her kids, now she's throwing one for me. What goes around comes around. I get the frustration when it goes around but never comes around for you.

This is Ridiculous!! YES you can definitely throw yourself a shower. Maybe a brunch to celebrate with your closest friends and family. Bride is paying for food, drinks, game prizes, maybe even treats / gifts for mother of groom&bride. Just would leave out the whole registration thing from invites. I don't think these old fashion etiquette rules apply anymore. Times have changed. A lot of people would not agree with me having a small intimate wedding then inviting everyone for a huge I Do barbecue celebration on another day after wedding. But my family doesn't care . They will be there and won't be critizing or judging me for not inviting them to actual wedding. Its a new thing people do now too. So like I said times have changed Do what you want . It's your wedding you should enjoy and never go by what anyone on these sites say . It's your wedding not theirs. They can do what theirs like they want. I personally don't like the big wedding dress ,first dance or being center of attention. So I'm doing things differently at my wedding. So Yes you can throw yourself a Shower or Birthday party .. It's your life You do what makes you Happy not what others want you to do.

And Congrats ????

I agree with this. I have no issues with the bride throwing herself a shower.

I totally disagree with this advice. Birthdays happen every year and it's unreasonable to expect friends to plan a party for you every time. If you want one, there is no harm or issue in throwing a party where you want to bring together your friends.

This is a very interesting question and I can see why you would ask it... I do understand why most say it's a bit tacky, but, I think of a shower as a way to celebrate your upcoming nuptials with those you love. I think of it as a smaller, more intimate party where you're able to spend more individual time with your guests (some of which may not be able to attend the actual wedding) as a means to celebrate. Although gifts are traditionally given at a shower and that can be considered the reason to have the shower, I've always thought of it to be more about the celebrating the person and the excitement leading up to the big day. I wouldn't necessarily recommend someone hosting their own shower but I can see why you would wonder why they couldn't.