Why does my venue charge more for a wedding reception? We just want to have a nice dinner...

That’s actually interesting to learn aha because I have totally thought bout this myself. Such as the idea that my venue had a family dinner package for ten that was same amount of courses and same courses as my wedding package but yet of course they didn’t let me use that aha or my friends who would say why don’t you just tell them it’s for an event and not specifically a wedding? Well I can’t pull that off when there’s going to be mr and mrs announcements aha

Thank you for this post! It’s all so so true and something I see on this forum a lot, along with encouraging other brides to say it isn’t for a wedding. I know someone who is a catering manager for a popular venue in the Bay Area and someone tried to lie and say they were booking a surprise birthday party and it was really a quinceanera. He said it was a big ordeal and those people were fined several thousand dollars and banned from that venue!

Thanks for posting this! I went to a winery to talk about a local party after our Vegas wedding. I figured it would be out of our budget, and is was, but I’d have no clue if I hadn’t reached out and now I understand better what goes into these events on the business end...and as you mentioned, it is a business. Comparing a wedding to uncle Jack’s birthday really puts things into perspective. Much of this process is about managing expectations and this information is so helpful. Thanks, again!

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Melle I hear ya! Before I started working here we did have a couple that not only kept it quiet that it was a wedding reception, they actually did the ceremony in our dining room! Pretty bold! It's definitely not a stunt I recommend The two brides I talked about in my post were very clear at the start it was for their wedding, so when they pushed against the pricing, to myself I thought "the cat's out of the bag now that this is a wedding, not a dinner party, so unless you're willing to go to your hotel and put your wedding dress away before getting here, in addition to lying right from the start, this isn't gonna work!"

My co-worker used to work at a nearby resort and said that their restaurants will absolutely not seat any groups where it's obviously a wedding, because they want to protect their private venue business. Harsh, but makes sense.

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Alexis, I'm glad it was helpful. A good wedding venue is going to work very hard for you. If their reviews check out, you're getting your money's worth.

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Kelly, I've heard of venues that have a clause in their contract about this. We don't go that far, but try to be super clear in the inquiry process about what defines a wedding and not waver on the pricing. I myself eloped with two friends in attendance and considered going to a restaurant afterwards, but opted for a picnic instead - it came down to that I knew the restaurant would not be able to make the dining experience as special as I would have liked it to be on my wedding day, since they would have plenty of other customers to attend to. And this is why we charge more - it takes that much more time and effort to give you the experience you want and expect.

I will just say, though, that it is frustrating for those couples (not just "brides") who really do want something comparable to Uncle Joe's birthday party. We dealt with that by using the private dining room of a restaurant, not a traditional wedding venue. We exchanged a few emails with the restaurant about the menu and timeline, confirmed the guest count a week before, had them serve lunch and dessert, had them put bottles of wine on the table and take drink orders, and everyone went home. There were no outside vendors, decorations that needed to be delivered, or live entertainment.

We didn't mislead anyone. We didn't tell the restaurant the nature of the occasion until they asked, but when they did, we told them. Fortunately the restaurant didn't have any special wedding pricing.

But a lot of the problem seems to be that venues (and other vendors) just expect that people want a much higher level of service with a wedding--and so the couple that doesn't still pays the higher price. We were certainly willing to pay higher prices when the differences mattered. For example, we know it is more challenging for a photographer whose timing has to be perfect to get the kiss than for one who is merely documenting a business dinner. But I wish there were a way in other circumstances for couples wanting the Uncle Joe's birthday package to distinguish themselves from the ones who are going to want constant hand-holding both before and during the event.

This is good information! I hope those who complain about the "wedding tax" read it.

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Hi 2d Bride! I hear you. I agree that it would be helpful if there was more choice. I'd like to think I was a *legit* low-key bride, who would do the same as you. It's tough in our area because there are really not any casual full service venues that way. Most of the venues are resorts that aim at the luxury market - I think *we* are considered the casual ones! There are farms that charge a flat rental no matter what the occasion, but coordination is extra, so that pricing structure is probably better for casual peeps.

From the venue's side, it's also meeting the market. It's a hard truth that the wedding market brings out the FOMO in everyone and we want to cash in - and can, and do.

This is such a helpful perspective to share -- thank you! We've hosted graduation parties in restaurants where they are fine with a "private party" event, but they expect it to be done in TWO HOURS.... That's such a different expectation than most wedding-related events. I cringe when I read posts on this forum about couples "hiding/lying" about the true nature of their event to various vendors.... I'm sorry, but if you're taking that gamble, please be sure you actually have nonwedding expectations. Thanks again!

View Quoted Comment In the case of the couple who didn’t say it was for a wedding, did anything happen after? Like did they end up getting charged more later on or anything?

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Hi Melle, I don't think our staff did or said anything because we were a relatively new venue at the time and didn't want any negativity going out there and reflecting back on us while we built clientele...but lesson definitely learned

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Hi MOB SoCal, I'm glad you liked it! It's true that wedding bookings are generally longer which is part of the practical costs when staff work more hours. Our price breakdown includes two extra hours, plus sound equipment for the ceremony and reception. And you're right, it's very few couples that don't want some extra decor or a microphone for toasts, or some dancing...if your wedding is that low key it would probably be wise to go the private room in a restaurant route and be clear about how many hours you want to book (and not pester them about bringing in a wedding cake - bad manners indeed!) If you go to a venue that specializes in weddings, you're getting a wedding!

That's really why brides should shop around and keep their expectations realistic. I was actually a low key bride. We ended up going to a venue that's a restaurant that also specifically hosts weddings. Kind of a hybrid. They are transitioning to more of a full service event venue in the last year (which makes me sad because they removed their dinner options lol).

Even our church charges more for using their space for weddings than they do for other events like a birthday party for the above stated reasons. I think my thing, and frustration, as a very low key and low budget bride was the amount of phone calls I had to make for someone to work with us. My expectations were realistic. No outside vendors. Literally just a meal and a socialization time. I emailed their coordinator all of a handful of times. We didn't bring in anything or cause a fuss (28 people total). Confirmed headcount ahead of time, didn't bother the coordinator. Our reception time was like 2 hours which is normal, I think, for a party type dinner. I've spent longer in a Golden Corral for my niece's birthday. Same with my church I got them to waive the fees by not decorating and keeping to our set times.

I think it's all a negotiation process. You find out right away if a vendor is willing to work with you. And if they're not... just move on. I usually find policies are in place because venues have been burned before. If it's not something a vendor can work with and not something you're willing to pay for take your toys and play in someone else's sandbox.

Yes yes yes! This was such a great post!

I worked in the meeting services industry for seven years for Hilton and Marriott. To be honest, unless an actual wedding is being held in a separate space and people have a lot of special requests, the amount of upcharge some venues (including hotels) put on a reception is not warranted in my opinion. I've seen corporate parties just as elaborate as receptions and their planners that are just as particular as someone who is holding a wedding reception. Many venues charge more because they can. Every venue is trying to get the maximum revenue. The contract is the important key. Read it carefully. Does it have a wedding clause for this particular case? If they don't have anything in there about disclosing exactly what the party is for then they have no legal recourse.
In the ops case it does sound like there are special considerations they make for weddings. But honestly most venues charge separately for sound packages, the amount of guests, and extra services. They do have a point if they are putting extra labor into dealing with outside vendors and wedding coordination. If you book for a party instead of a reception than the venue staff shouldn't have to deal with that. There should be someone (outside of the wedding party) that handles those arrangements with any outside vendors. Same some sanity and have someone handle arrangements for you the day of! The less traditional a wedding reception the less an upcharge makes sense.
If you are trying to book during peak event and/or wedding season a venue is going to be less flexible. Keep that in mind if you are trying to book a party during peak wedding season then you might lose out to the person booking the full wedding at the venue. A venue is going to be less flexible during their busy period. Also if a meeting planner at the venue knows it is a wedding reception vs a party they might know to ask for specific needs you might have - cake table, wedding book table, gift table, separate dance floor, etc.. If you are booking a party at a venue instead of a wedding reception that means a lot of the responsibility for planning and everything else should go on your shoulders and not the venues.