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Dedicated December 2021

Why Is Everyone Trying To Be a Diva?!?!?

Arlene, on June 29, 2021 at 7:10 PM

So my wedding is 17 months out and I'm trying to make sure I don't go bridezilla by making sure I don't procrastinate or forget the little details and being slightly flexible.
So today my future MIL asks if she can have a SILVER dress made to wear to my wedding with a navy blue jacket? Now my wedding colors are Navy Blue, silverdust and white with turquoise and dark steel gray accents but are you serious?!?
I legit told her "I love you but if you wear a silver dress to our wedding, I'm spilling red wine on you LOL" she laughed a did a which is fine but I'm being dead ass serious! I said in pictures the lights will be bright and it will was out the color making it look white. I said I have already picked out several dresses I like for you and my mom in navy blue or black so I'm certain there is something you'll like in there.Then my brother, who is one of the groomsmen, said he doesn't wear a suit jacket. He'll wear a vest and tie but not a suit jacket... I said the ceremony will be short and you just wear it during that then you can take it off and wear your shirt with suspenders. He said if he didn't wear a suit jacket for my nan's funeral. He's not wearing one ever. Even to his own...
Questions: 1. Was I right to be a bit miffed at my future MIL for the silver dress?2. How do I even address my brother... he's very stubborn?3. Why are people testing my Jesus and want to get shanked 😤😡😠🤬??

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Super July 2020
Cool · on June 29, 2021 at 9:36 PM
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Questions: 1. Was I right to be a bit miffed at my future MIL for the silver dress?2. How do I even address my brother... he's very stubborn?3. Why are people testing my Jesus and want to get shanked

1.) no
2.) wait a year and deal with it then when it’s relevant
3.) It sounds like you have anger/temper issues
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 29, 2021 at 9:38 PM
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🙄🙄🙄🙄
Nobody is allowed to joke in 2021 I forgot...
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 29, 2021 at 9:51 PM
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Well I'm so glad his family and my family are the ones I'm dealing with because they know my sense of humor and know I'm the farthest thing from rude. I'm meticulous and particular about certain details as most brides are.
You probably shouldn't talk about someone else's cultural differences and use rude in the same sentence. Like I was poking fun about things before but this is a line you nor anyone should cross when I was kind enough to explain why I wanted this a certain way.
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 29, 2021 at 10:08 PM
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And what the hell is "This culture"???
Last time I checked, I live in America, which is a melting pot of different cultures.
Master October 2020
Yasmine · on June 30, 2021 at 9:55 AM
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If you don't want her to wear silver at your wedding then she should simply respect that and choose another color, I don't think that you're doing too much. & as far as your brother, the wedding isn't about him, its about you and your fiancé. Why does he think its okay for him to look different than anyone else? If the other groomsmen aren't wearing jackets then I think it would be fine but if not I personally don't think it'll look right.
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 30, 2021 at 9:57 AM
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Thank you.
She will, she's very nice and also cheeky as well.
I've recruited my mother to help with my bro so it should be fine.
Master 0000
Judith · on June 30, 2021 at 8:18 PM
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In saying what you did is something other people would say was rude, I did not say , that is what I think. Rather that there IS that widespread opinion among Americans. You will encounter that. *** I am from 2 cultures, very different tribal cultures, and frequently people interpret what I see or say by their cultural standard, often quite different from what I intended. And I appreciate when someone gives me a heads up that there is a difference between what I or friends meant, and how it will be received by others. In my cultures, there would be no smiling or laughing over mothers' dresses. People would be outraged daughter told her mother anything about how to dress, which is seen as treating an elder child. 3 different views of the same thing, all correct in their own culture.
Master 0000
Judith · on June 30, 2021 at 8:19 PM
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** treating an elder like a child.
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on June 30, 2021 at 8:49 PM
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Really???? 🙄🙄🙄
The only people that think it's rude are the ones that have no sense of humor or the ones that think whatever happens on TV is actually happening in real life. Funny enough you see daughters helping their mothers choose clothes all the time in stores or on TV. Even on "Say Yes to the Dress" so I guess it's not such a widespread "American no-no" lol.
I clearly stated I told my future MIL this cheeky way of saying i don't want her wearing silver and she and everyone else in the room laughed. I guess they must not be Americans either... But that's why I didn't ask how it would be received by her because she already took it and thought it was funny. If that's your culture that's fine but I didn't ask about your culture as it has no relevance to me or my future in-laws. Please stop making this a much bigger deal than it really is. I have an idea if what I want her to wear. Don't worry I'm not going to beat her if she doesn't Iike the dresses I picked out. We can go to the store and she can pick out another navy blue dress as there are millions. I'm not that nutty that only the 55 on my list will only suffice...😒🙄If I could delete this thread I would because it just reminds me how so many have a stick up their rear end and make molehills in moutains.
VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on June 30, 2021 at 10:50 PM
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What you think was a funny comment made in the heat of the moment we think is rude because if we ourselves heard that comment we would find it disrespectful and far removed from what a joke actually is. That doesn’t mean we have no sense of humour or some distorted view of reality, but at the end of the day how you want to handle your relationships with people is on you.

If your FMIL thought it was so funny and was happy to go along with that comment and your requests, then you wouldn’t be ranting about everyone behaving like a diva, but, I digress, since after all, we seemingly “have stick[s] up [our] rear end” for holding higher standards of what acceptable conduct is.
Your FMIL seems like a lovely, patient lady. Good luck with the rest of your planning.
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on July 1, 2021 at 7:13 AM
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I can admit that I could have written it so it sounds more like a joke.and It wasn't a comment made in the heat of the moment mind you but since you think you are you were there
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on July 1, 2021 at 7:23 AM
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I can admit that I could have written it so it sounds more like a joke. But since you think you were there i doubt it would have mattered much. I say this becsuse you again made another assumption it was a comment made in the heat of the moment.
Every comment I get I read to my future hubs and he is in agreement that YOU are making it into a much bigger deal than it actually is because you refuse to accept the fact that the person who the joke was directed to knows my sense of humor, as I Hers, and THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY!
Do you need her to jump on the thread and tell you she's not crying in the corner as you probably also assumed?Again I could have written it with more LOL's and "just kiddings". Once I clarified what I actually meant than you should have dropped it because you continuing to fight for the right of someone who wasn't offended if JUST PLAIN WEIRD.
VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on July 1, 2021 at 7:25 AM
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It is a shame you’ve seen fit to adhere some unfavorable descriptions upon my character but this behaviour speaks volumes in itself. I won’t be making further comment trying to reason with you.
Best of luck to you.
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on July 1, 2021 at 8:12 AM
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Lol cool, glad you got the point!
🙏🏾🙌🏾👋🏾
Master October 2020
Yasmine · on July 1, 2021 at 11:59 AM
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Omg girl they are going in on you lol as long as your family knows how you joke it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I didn't think it was rude, I know some people just play lol
Dedicated December 2021
Arlene · on July 1, 2021 at 12:00 PM
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Thank you!
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Vicky · on July 1, 2021 at 12:50 PM
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It appears to me that you are the one making molehills out of mountains here, both in the situation described with your FMIL and in this thread.
VIP January 2020
Vicky · on July 1, 2021 at 9:43 PM
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No, I read all of your responses. You're the one being overly dramatic.
Your MIL is not from your culture. Even if she were, you don't get to force her to wear what you want her to wear. If you're lucky she'll agree to abide by your desires and wear the color you want her to wear, but if so she's doing you a favor.

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CountryBride · on July 1, 2021 at 11:11 PM
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Please don’t be mean to the posters the way you came across in your post was confusing and it felt like you were being the diva